AP English Language & Composition · English

AP English Language & Composition

A course in reading arguments and writing them. Every lesson works from a real nonfiction passage (Douglass, Lincoln, Wollstonecraft, Woolf, a Supreme Court dissent, a government report), and asks you to do what the exam asks: name the choice a writer made, quote the evidence, and explain how that choice advances the purpose. Nine units spiral through the four big ideas, every unit ends with ten interactive exam-style questions, and the three essay sections hold fifteen prompts you can write against the real 6-point rubric with a top-score response to compare.

3H 15M EXAM 45 MCQ 3 ESSAYS 51 LESSONS 90 REVIEW QUESTIONS 15 ESSAY PROMPTS GRADE: 11TH+

Course overview

What this course covers, and how the exam is built.

The exam is 3 hours 15 minutes, taken digitally in Bluebook. Section I is 45 multiple-choice questions in 1 hour and is worth 45% of the score: 23–25 reading questions on nonfiction passages and 20–22 writing questions that ask you to revise a draft. Section II is three essays in 2 hours 15 minutes, including a 15-minute reading period, and is worth the other 55%: a synthesis essay that argues a position using at least three of six provided sources, a rhetorical analysis of one nonfiction passage, and an argument essay on a given idea. Unlike the history and science courses, the College Board does not publish exam weights for the nine units of AP English Language, because the units spiral rather than divide the content; the tag beside each unit below names the big ideas it develops: Rhetorical Situation (RHS), Claims and Evidence (CLE), Reasoning and Organization (REO), and Style (STL). Every unit ends with a ten-question review that mixes passage-based reading questions and exam-style revision questions, and the three essay sections at the bottom of the outline hold five prompts each with a writing space that scores against the official 6-point analytic rubric.

  • U1Unit 1: The rhetorical situation, claims, and evidenceRHS · CLE
  • U2Unit 2: Audience and thesisRHS · CLE
  • U3Unit 3: Evidence, sources, and the line of reasoningCLE · REO
  • U4Unit 4: Introductions, conclusions, and methods of developmentRHS · REO
  • U5Unit 5: Commentary, unity, and transitionsREO
  • U6Unit 6: Position, perspective, and biasRHS · CLE
  • U7Unit 7: Qualification and complexityCLE · REO
  • U8Unit 8: Style; word choice and syntaxSTL
  • U9Unit 9: Putting it together for the examAll four

All nine units are open, 51 lessons in all. Every lesson pairs a short explanation with worked examples and a problem to try yourself, the same problem types that show up on the exam. Each unit closes with a short video walk-through and a ten-problem practice set with hidden answers.

Free preview: open any 5 lessons, or watch one unit video, without an account. The counter on the left keeps track.

Lesson 1.1 · Unit 1 · CED skill 1.A

The rhetorical situation: who is speaking, to whom, and why

Every text is somebody's answer to something. Before you can explain how a piece of writing works, you have to know what it was answering: the problem, the writer, the people addressed, what the writer wanted from them. Skip that and you write “the author uses a serious tone”: a guess about a feeling, not a claim about a choice.

Key moves
  • Exigence: the problem that makes this text necessary now.
  • Writer and audience: who speaks, what credibility they hold, and what the people addressed already believe.
  • Purpose: the effect sought: moving this audience from here to there.
  • Context and message: the surrounding circumstances, and the claim finally delivered.
  • SOAPS: speaker, occasion, audience, purpose, subject: the same checklist, fast enough to run in a margin.
Passage

Source: Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg Address, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, November 19, 1863.

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. … We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a wartime president whose reelection was in doubt. Occasion, a soldiers' cemetery dedicated four months after the battle. Audience, the crowd at the graves and the much larger one reading the text in the morning papers. Purpose controls the rest: Lincoln came not to mourn but to turn a burial into a reason to keep fighting.

Exam tip: “What is the tone?” is the wrong first question. Tone is a result. Ask what the writer needed from this audience.

Model analysis

Lincoln's most consequential choice is a date he never names. Counting “four score and seven years” back from 1863 lands on 1776, not 1787, on the Declaration's proposition of equality rather than a Constitution that protected slavery. A crowd that came to bury soldiers is handed a founding it must now finish. Making the war a test of whether a nation “so conceived” can endure then lets him ask for more war without naming a battle or an enemy.

Write it

Write one paragraph claiming something about Lincoln's choice to describe the nation as a living thing. Quote no more than six words, and explain how that choice serves his purpose.

Show a model paragraph

Lincoln describes the country as a living body so that its death becomes thinkable and its survival becomes his audience's job. The nation is “brought forth” and “conceived,” words borrowed from birth, and what he asks is whether it “can long endure.” The soldiers then “gave their lives that that nation might live.” For mourners standing in a cemetery, that turns private grief into a debt owed to something still alive.

Why it scores: one choice, a short quotation, and commentary on how that choice works on this audience, the “how” Row B rewards.

Lesson 1.2 · Unit 1 · CED skill 1.A

Exigence: the problem that makes a text necessary

Exigence is not the topic. The topic of Paine's pamphlet is the war; the exigence is that in December 1776 Washington's army was dissolving and most enlistments expired on the last day of the month. Topic is what a text is about. Exigence is what goes wrong if nobody writes it.

Key moves
  • Exigence: the urgent problem or event the text answers.
  • Topic vs. exigence: the topic is the subject; the exigence is why now.
  • Occasion vs. context: occasion is the moment of delivery; context is the wider circumstance a reader carries in.
  • Constraint: what this writer cannot say to these people at this time.
  • Naming it: “X wrote because Y was happening” is the sentence an analysis starts from.
Passage

Source: Thomas Paine, “The American Crisis, No. I,” Philadelphia, December 1776.

These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, an immigrant pamphleteer whose Common Sense had already sold in the tens of thousands. Occasion, the retreat across New Jersey; Washington had the essay read to the troops days before Trenton. Audience, soldiers free to leave on December 31 and civilians paying for a losing war. Exigence is the lever: an army about to walk home.

Exam tip: tie the choice to the moment. “Written for men who could legally leave in twelve days” scores; “written during the war” does not.

Model analysis

Paine's opening does not argue, it sorts. The “summer soldier” and the “sunshine patriot” are categories invented on the spot, and they sit empty beside “he that stands it now.” A man deciding whether to go home at the end of the month is not told he is wrong; he is shown the name he will answer to. The exigence is what makes that cheaper than a reason: the decision was days away, and there was no time to persuade anyone of anything larger.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Paine's choice to price freedom the way a merchant prices goods. Quote no more than six words, and tie the choice to the exigence.

Show a model paragraph

Paine answers despair with arithmetic. Granting that tyranny is “not easily conquered” concedes what his readers had just lived through, and then turns the losses into evidence: “the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.” Because “what we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly,” a bad December becomes proof of the cause's worth rather than of its hopelessness. For men whose enlistments expired in days, that exchange rate restored a value the retreat had stripped out.

Why it scores: one choice, a short quotation, and commentary tying it to a specific audience at a specific moment.

Lesson 1.3 · Unit 1 · CED skill 1.A

Purpose and message: what the writer wants this audience to do

Weak analysis collapses three things into one. The subject is what a text is about. The message is the claim it delivers about that subject. The purpose is the effect the writer wants on a particular audience, and purpose is the only one of the three that changes when the audience changes.

Key moves
  • Subject: the matter under discussion.
  • Message: the claim delivered about it, writable as one sentence.
  • Purpose: the effect sought on this audience: to authorize, to reassure, to refuse, to recruit.
  • Purpose is audience-bound: one message can serve different purposes in front of different readers.
  • The test: ask what changes if the audience accepts the message. That answer is the purpose.
Passage

Source: Thomas Jefferson, letter to the Danbury Baptist Association, Washington, January 1, 1802.

Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legislative powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should “make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,” thus building a wall of separation between Church and State.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a president a year into office and publicly accused by New England Federalists of irreligion. Occasion, a letter of support from a Baptist minority in Connecticut, where Congregationalism was the established church. Audience, that association and, since Jefferson expected the reply to be printed, everyone else. Purpose: to explain why he issues no religious proclamations, without conceding indifference.

Exam tip: state a purpose as a verb with an object, “to authorize his refusal,” not “to inform the reader.” Informing is almost never the purpose of an argument.

Model analysis

Jefferson never names the thing he is declining to do, and that omission is the strategy. He reports contemplating “with sovereign reverence” an act “of the whole American people,” which moves a personal policy onto national authority and stages the reverence his critics said he lacked in the very act of refusing. The metaphor of a “wall” completes it: a wall is something a president may maintain but has no standing to move. A choice arrives sounding like a duty.

Write it

Write one paragraph distinguishing Jefferson's message from his purpose. Quote no more than six words, and explain what the wall image does for a president accused of irreligion.

Show a model paragraph

Jefferson's message is that government reaches “actions only, and not opinions”; his purpose is to make his own silence on fast days look obligatory rather than cold. The wall does that. A wall is built by someone else and inherited, so a president who issues no proclamation is not expressing a preference but declining to breach a structure “the whole American people” put up. To Baptists under an established church the image promises protection; to Federalists reading it in print it makes his restraint indistinguishable from constitutional duty.

Why it scores: it separates message from purpose, quotes short, and explains how one image works on two audiences at once.

Lesson 1.4 · Unit 1 · CED skill 3.A

Claims: arguable statements, not facts or preferences

A claim is a statement a reasonable person could dispute, which is why it needs proof. “The Civil War ended in 1865” is a fact; nobody argues with it. “Reconstruction was betrayed” is a claim, and it owes you evidence. Most weak theses fail here: they are facts or preferences wearing the grammar of an argument.

Key moves
  • Claim: a disputable statement that requires defense.
  • Fact: verifiable and not arguable; it becomes evidence, never a thesis.
  • Preference: “I found it moving.” Nothing to dispute, nothing to prove.
  • Main and supporting claims: the thesis, plus the claims carrying it, each owing its own evidence.
  • The test: say it aloud and ask what someone could say back. No answer means no claim.
Passage

Source: Frederick Douglass, “West India Emancipation,” Canandaigua, New York, August 3, 1857.

If there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. … Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. … The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a formerly enslaved editor who had broken with the abolitionists who trusted moral suasion alone. Occasion, the annual celebration of British emancipation in the West Indies, a date the movement kept as a holiday. Audience, sympathizers already opposed to slavery and inclined to wait. Purpose is the thing to hold on to: he is arguing with his own side.

Exam tip: when a question asks for “the writer's claim,” it wants the disputable sentence, not the topic. Write it as something a person could answer.

Model analysis

Douglass aims his claim at allies, and the shape of the passage shows it. He states the disputable proposition flatly, “If there is no struggle there is no progress”, and then, rather than prove it, ridicules the alternative three times: crops without plowing, rain without thunder, an ocean without its roar. Each image grants the end and deletes the cost, which is the sympathizer's position exactly. So “Power concedes nothing without a demand” reads less as a claim to weigh than as a conclusion the audience has been walked into.

Write it

Write one paragraph claiming something about Douglass's decision to argue against people who already agree with him. Quote no more than six words, and explain how that choice changes what counts as proof.

Show a model paragraph

Douglass treats agreement itself as the obstacle. “Those who profess to favor freedom” names someone in the room rather than a slaveholder in another state, and the impossible wishes that follow make that person's position sound not wicked but childish. Ridicule does work here that evidence could not: an audience that already accepts the conclusion needs no further facts about slavery, only its own comfort made visible. The closing demand then arrives as a debt.

Why it scores: a claim about a choice made for this audience, a short quotation, and commentary on why the choice fits the situation.

Lesson 1.5 · Unit 1 · CED skill 3.A

Evidence: the kinds, and the three tests that matter

Evidence is not proof. A quotation, a number, or a story becomes evidence only when it bears on the claim actually made, when there is enough of it, and when it is typical of what it stands in for. No reader is impressed that you cited something; they want to know why it settles anything.

Key moves
  • Kinds: fact, statistic, example, anecdote, expert testimony, analogy, historical precedent.
  • Relevance: does it bear on the claim made, or on a nearby one?
  • Sufficiency: is there enough of it to carry a claim this large?
  • Representativeness: is the example typical, or chosen because it is not?
  • Standing: evidence from a hostile source is hard to dismiss; name the source inside the sentence or it reads as assertion.
Passage

Description of: Ida B. Wells, “Southern Horrors: Lynch Law in All Its Phases,” New York, 1892. Summarized, not quoted.

Wells's pamphlet gathers and extends the editorials that cost her the Memphis Free Speech. Rather than argue from her own testimony, she builds the case from material her opponents cannot disown: the accounts white Southern newspapers printed of the killings, and the accusations those same papers published alongside them. Setting the reports side by side, she shows how often the stated charge changed after the fact, and argues that a record kept by the accusers is the only one her readers will not wave away.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a Memphis editor and part-owner of the Free Speech, driven from the city in 1892 after an editorial on the killing of three Black grocers; the pamphlet appeared in New York with an introductory letter from Frederick Douglass. Audience, Northern readers who assumed what they read was true. Purpose: to make the record itself the witness, because her own word would be dismissed.

Exam tip: “uses evidence” is not analysis. Name the test the evidence has to pass, and the audience it has to pass it for.

Model analysis

Wells's central choice is about standing rather than outrage. Building from accounts printed by hostile papers means every fact arrives certified by people with no motive to help her, so a reader who wants the conclusion to be false must impeach his own sources first. The choice also fixes what she may claim: because those papers report accusations rather than findings, she argues about the accusations (how they shifted, how often one replaced another), and leaves the conclusion to a reader holding only the opposition's evidence.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Wells's decision to argue from her opponents' own published accounts. Name which of the three tests the choice is meant to pass, and say what it costs her.

Show a model paragraph

Wells's use of the white press is a bid for sufficiency she could not otherwise make. One case, however well documented, invites the reply that it was exceptional; a pattern assembled from the accusers' own columns cannot be called exceptional without discrediting the columns. The choice costs her range. Working only from what those papers chose to print leaves the record shaped by their omissions, so her argument runs on their terms.

Why it scores: one choice, tested against a standard the exam itself names, with commentary on what the choice buys and what it costs.

Lesson 1.6 · Unit 1 · CED skill 4.A

Writing a paragraph that makes a claim and proves it

Now you write one. A body paragraph does three things in order: it makes a claim, it puts attributed evidence under that claim, and it explains the connection. Most student paragraphs manage the first two and stop, or stop one word later, at “this shows that,” which announces commentary without supplying any.

Key moves
  • Claim sentence: one arguable sentence, in your words, first.
  • Attributed evidence: the shortest quotable unit, named: “Franklin writes that …”
  • Fit the quotation: the sentence holding it must still read as a sentence.
  • “This shows that” is a slot, not commentary: the commentary is whatever comes after it.
  • End on reasoning: the last sentence of the paragraph should be yours, not the source's.
Passage

Source: Benjamin Franklin, “Remarks Concerning the Savages of North America,” 1784.

Savages we call them, because their manners differ from ours, which we think the perfection of civility; they think the same of theirs. Perhaps, if we could examine the manners of different nations with impartiality, we should find no people so rude as to be without any rules of politeness; nor any so polite as not to have some remains of rudeness. The Indian men, when young, are hunters and warriors; when old, counsellors; for all their government is by counsel of the sages; there is no force, there are no prisons, no officers to compel obedience, or inflict punishment.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a printer and diplomat of seventy-eight, then the best-known American in Europe. Occasion, a short essay printed for European readers curious about the new republic. Audience, educated Europeans who took their own manners as the standard. Purpose: to unsettle the reader's category before describing anyone in it.

Exam tip: a paragraph that ends on a quotation has stopped a sentence early. The last line is where Row B commentary lives.

Model analysis

Franklin's first sentence is a claim, and its evidence is a pronoun. “Savages we call them” puts the reader inside the sentence as the one doing the calling, so the word under examination becomes a European habit rather than a description of anyone. The balanced clause that follows, “they think the same of theirs”, supplies proof by symmetry: a judgment running both ways measures distance, not rank. The claim is made and carried in two clauses, before a single example arrives.

Write it

Write one body paragraph about Franklin's account of government by counsel. Open with an arguable claim in your own words, quote no more than eight words with attribution, and close on commentary rather than on the quotation.

Show a model paragraph

Franklin makes the absence of coercion the proof of political maturity rather than the sign of its lack. Describing councils in which, he writes, “there is no force, there are no prisons,” he catalogues what a government is missing instead of what it holds, and the missing items are the machinery his European readers would have named as evidence of a real state. Removing them leaves persuasion as the only instrument of rule, which raises the standing of the people described. Franklin lets the reader supply the country that does need prisons.

Why it earns the point: an arguable claim in the writer's own words, a short attributed quotation, and commentary longer than the evidence it explains.

Unit 1 review · 10 multiple-choice

Unit 1 review: the rhetorical situation, claims, and evidence

Six reading questions on one passage and four revision questions on a student draft, covering exigence and purpose (1.1–1.3), what makes a claim arguable (1.4), the tests evidence has to pass (1.5), and the shape of a claim-and-evidence paragraph (1.6): click an option to see why it is right or wrong.

Multiple choice

  1. Source: Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg Address, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, November 19, 1863.

    But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced.

    The passage was delivered at the dedication of a soldiers' cemetery four months after the battle fought on that ground, with the war still going on. The rhetorical situation is best described as

    A eulogy names people and offers comfort; this one names no soldier, no unit, and no family, and it ends by handing the audience a job rather than consolation. Reading the occasion off the event rather than off the text is the commonest error on situation questions.

    Correct. The occasion is a burial, but the passage refuses the ceremony's own business, the speaker cannot dedicate anything, and turns the audience toward “the unfinished work,” which is the war itself. Naming the gap between the stated occasion and the writer's purpose is what a rhetorical-situation question rewards.

    Nothing in the passage answers an objection or defends a power; there is no opponent in it at all. A text can be politically useful without being an argument addressed to critics, and treating every wartime speech as a defense misses what this one asks for.

    The passage never mentions the seceded states, the terms of peace, or any policy; “the unfinished work” names the effort still under way, not a plan for afterward. Purpose is what the writer wants from this audience now, not what the historical moment makes you think of.

  2. In the passage above, the writer's primary purpose in the second sentence (“The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it…”) is to

    Correct. The sentence takes the verb the ceremony was built around and gives it to someone else: the men “have consecrated it,” already, “far above our poor power.” That transfer is what licenses the demand in the last sentence, since a debt to an act is harder to discharge with a speech.

    The sentence says the ground was consecrated by the struggle, not that it was sacred beforehand: the whole point is that something the soldiers did changed it. A purpose statement has to survive a second reading of the sentence it describes.

    “Living and dead” joins the two groups inside one phrase rather than ranking them, and no survivor is singled out anywhere in the passage. Watch for choices that invent a distinction the writer deliberately collapsed.

    No officer, regiment, or state appears in the passage, and the anonymity is a choice: unnamed “brave men” can stand for the whole army, which is what a demand on the living requires. Naming would have narrowed the debt.

  3. In the passage above, the claim the writer most clearly advances is that

    The speaker doubts what words can do here, but he is performing the ceremony rather than abolishing it, and he uses it to ask for something. A claim has to be the disputable sentence the text defends, not the strongest-sounding line in it.

    This reverses the passage: “the world will little note, nor long remember what we say here” predicts the opposite about the speech and contrasts it with what the soldiers did. Options that flip a comparison are the easiest distractors to catch if you reread the sentence.

    Nothing here asks for a monument, and the argument runs the other way: the ground is already consecrated “far above our poor power to add.” A true-sounding statement about Gettysburg is not automatically a claim the passage makes.

    Correct. Every move in the passage feeds this: the ceremony cannot add anything, the soldiers already did the consecrating, and what remains for the living is “the unfinished work.” That sentence is arguable, a listener could answer that remembrance is itself the obligation, which is what makes it the claim.

  4. In the passage above, the line of reasoning moves from

    The passage states no general rule about war and makes no prediction about future fighting; its only forecast is that the speech will be forgotten. A line of reasoning has to be described from the order of the actual claims, not from a familiar template.

    There is no description of the field and no narrative of the fighting: the battle is referred to only as what “they did here.” Summarizing a text you expected instead of the one printed is how reasoning questions are usually missed.

    Correct. Sentence one denies that the living can consecrate; sentence two supplies the reason, that the soldiers already did it; sentences three and four draw the consequence, that the work rather than the words is what falls to the audience. Each step earns the next, which is the test of a line of reasoning.

    No critic is addressed and no position is granted and then answered. The first sentence looks like a concession because it gives something up, but it gives up the speaker's own power, which sets up a demand rather than a rebuttal.

  5. In the passage above, the effect of the repeated construction “we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow” is to

    Correct. The verbs escalate from the civic act of dedicating to the religious acts of consecrating and hallowing, so each denial is larger than the one before it. A speaker who simply meant to be humble would not need three tries, and the climb makes the refusal sound like something discovered on the spot.

    The three verbs name one act in rising terms, not three completed ceremonies, and all three appear in the negative, as things the living cannot do. Reading a triad as a list of items is the standard trap on repetition questions.

    The passage expresses no doubt about the war's outcome; the sentence concerns the speaker's power over this ground, and it ends by asking for more effort, not less. Transferring an emotion from the occasion onto the writer is guesswork, not analysis.

    Naming a device correctly and stopping at its sound is the error the exam tests for here. The rhythm is real, but the words also make a claim, that the ceremony cannot do what it was called to do, and that claim is what the rest of the passage builds on.

  6. In the passage above, the writer's assumptions about the audience are best described as

    A hostile audience would have to be answered, and the passage answers nobody; it assumes agreement about the soldiers and spends its effort on what follows from that agreement. Assume opposition only where the text argues against something.

    Correct. The passage takes reverence for the dead as settled, it is the one premise never defended, and builds the request on top of it, so nobody is asked to change a belief, only to see what an existing one now requires. That is what “understanding an audience's values” looks like in practice.

    The battle is never narrated because the audience is standing on the field where it happened; the passage can say “what they did here” and be understood. An audience question asks what the text assumes its readers already hold, and this one assumes a great deal.

    The address was printed widely and did reach foreign readers, but nothing in it addresses a government or asks for recognition; the obligation it names falls on “us the living,” standing at the graves. A secondary audience is not the same as the one the text is built for.

  7. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Thomas Paine's wartime pamphlets.

    (1) In December 1776 the Continental Army had retreated across New Jersey. (2) Most of its soldiers' enlistments were due to expire on the last day of the month. (3) Paine turns the army's worst month into an argument for staying. (4) Washington had the pamphlet read aloud to the troops days before the attack on Trenton. (5) Paine spent much of his later life in France and England.

    The writer wants to add a quotation after sentence 3 that supports the claim made in that sentence. Which of the following, if added after sentence 3, best accomplishes this goal?

    The line is genuinely from the pamphlet, and it establishes that the moment is hard, which is the half of sentence 3 that nobody disputes. Evidence has to bear on the arguable half of a claim, and here that half is why hardship becomes a reason to stay.

    Correct. This sentence supplies the exchange rate the claim depends on: if cheap things are valued lightly, then a costly winter raises the worth of the cause rather than lowering it. That is the mechanism by which the worst month becomes an argument, so the quotation proves the disputable part.

    Conceding that tyranny is hard to beat again supports the difficulty, not the turn. It is the setup for Paine's move rather than the move itself, and a reader could accept it and still reject sentence 3.

    The date is accurate and tells you something about Paine, but a fact about the writer's biography cannot show what his argument does. Relevance is the first test evidence has to pass, and this one fails it before sufficiency is even in question.

  8. In the draft above, the writer wants to make clear the relationship between sentence 3 and sentence 4. Which of the following is the best way to begin sentence 4?

    “However” promises a reversal, and sentence 4 does not reverse sentence 3: it shows the argument being put to work. A transition that names the wrong relationship costs more than no transition, because the reader follows it.

    Sentence 4 is not an instance of the argument Paine makes; it reports what a commander did with the pamphlet. “For instance” would send a reader looking for an example of the reasoning and hand him a fact about distribution instead.

    Correct. Sentence 4 is the consequence of sentence 3: because the pamphlet was built for men who could legally go home in days, it was worth reading aloud to exactly those men. The transition names a causal relationship, which is what a transition is for.

    Nothing is being concluded: two more sentences follow, and sentence 4 adds new information rather than summing anything up. Sequence words describe position in a paragraph; they do not describe how ideas are related.

  9. In the draft above, the writer wants to combine sentences 1 and 2 to emphasize that Paine was writing for men who were legally free to leave. Which version best accomplishes this goal?

    Joining the two facts with “and” makes them equal and leaves the sentence ending on a date. Combining sentences is only worth doing when the new arrangement puts the idea you care about where a reader's attention actually lands.

    The opening phrase now modifies “enlistments,” so the enlistments retreated across New Jersey. A dangling modifier is a clarity error, and it also buries the men themselves, who are the point of the sentence.

    This subordinates the enlistments and ends on the retreat, which reverses the emphasis the goal asks for. Subordination is a ranking device: whatever you put in the dependent clause is what you are telling the reader matters less.

    Correct. The retreat becomes the setting and the main clause ends on men who “were free to go home,” which is the fact the paragraph needs in the reader's mind before Paine's argument arrives. End-of-sentence position is the strongest emphasis English offers.

  10. The writer is considering deleting sentence 5 from the draft above. Should the writer make this change?

    Correct. Every other sentence is fixed to one month and one audience, and this one jumps decades and continents without bearing on the claim in sentence 3. The test for deletion is whether removing a sentence costs the argument anything; here it costs nothing.

    The reason is a made-up rule, not a judgment about this paragraph. Biography can be exactly the right evidence when the claim is about a writer's standing, Paine's reputation in 1776 would have been usable, so the flaw is relevance, not category.

    Fame in the 1790s cannot show what a pamphlet did in December 1776, and reasoning backward from a later reputation to an earlier effect is a real error rather than a careless one. Evidence has to be available to the moment the claim is about.

    A sentence is not a conclusion because it comes last. This one introduces new and unrelated information, which is the opposite of what a closing sentence does: a paragraph should end on the writer's own reasoning.

Lesson 2.1 · Unit 2 · CED skill 1.B

Audience: what readers believe, and what they must give up

Under indictment for voting, Susan B. Anthony spent the weeks before her 1873 trial giving the same speech in every postal district of the county her jury would come from. The prosecutor had the trial moved one county over; she went there and gave it again. An argument is never aimed at everyone: it is aimed at people who believe particular things and can do a particular thing.

Key moves
  • Primary audience: those who can grant what the writer wants; name them by what they can do.
  • Secondary audience: everyone else listening, reading, or reprinting.
  • Shared ground: what they already accept, usable as a premise nobody defends.
  • The one move: the single belief they must give up. Ask for three, get none.
  • Values and needs: what they honor versus what they must have; aim at the wrong one and a true appeal falls flat.
Passage

Source: Susan B. Anthony, “Is It a Crime for a Citizen of the United States to Vote?”, Monroe and Ontario Counties, New York, 1873.

Friends and fellow citizens: I stand before you tonight under indictment for the alleged crime of having voted at the last presidential election, without having a lawful right to vote. It shall be my work this evening to prove to you that in thus voting, I not only committed no crime, but, instead, simply exercised my citizen's rights, guaranteed to me and all United States citizens by the National Constitution, beyond the power of any State to deny. … It was we, the people; not we, the white male citizens; … but we, the whole people, who formed the Union.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, an organizer awaiting a federal trial. Occasion, the weeks between indictment and verdict. Subject, whether the Constitution had already made her a voter. Audience explains every choice: the men from whom twelve jurors would be drawn, most opposed to suffrage, all convinced the Constitution settles questions. Purpose follows, to make acquittal look like obedience to a document they revered.

Exam tip: “the audience is the American people” earns nothing. Name an audience by what it holds and what it can do.

Model analysis

Anthony asks for something smaller than what she wants. She takes the posture of counsel rather than reformer (“it shall be my work this evening to prove to you” is courtroom vocabulary, promising argument instead of appeal), and then sources the right somewhere these men already trusted, “beyond the power of any State to deny.” That conversion lets a juror who dislikes woman suffrage still find for her, since the question is no longer what he wants but what the document requires.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Anthony's decision to address these listeners as readers of the Constitution rather than as men who might be talked into favoring suffrage. Quote no more than six words and tie the choice to what they already accepted.

Show a model paragraph

Anthony treats her audience's conservatism as an asset rather than an obstacle. Promising to prove she “committed no crime” narrows the matter to a legal question, and a legal question can be answered by men who would never join a suffrage association. Because the right is “guaranteed,” a juror applies a rule he already thinks binding instead of changing his mind about women. Their reverence for the founding text, which should have been her difficulty, becomes the premise she never defends.

Why it scores: one choice, a short quotation as evidence, and commentary on how the choice works on beliefs this audience already held.

Lesson 2.2 · Unit 2 · CED skill 1.B

Ethos, pathos, and logos: appeals are choices, not labels

Students learn the three appeals as a collection: spot one, name it, move on. That is not analysis, because an appeal is only ever an appeal to somebody. A sentence that builds credibility with a legislature sounds like showing off at a rally. Ask what this audience counts as proof and what it already cares about; the appeal is whatever answers those questions.

Key moves
  • Ethos: credibility the text earns: expertise shown, values shared, fairness demonstrated.
  • Concession as ethos: granting a costly point proves the writer is weighing rather than selling, and buys belief on everything after.
  • Pathos: engaging what the audience already values or fears. Not “emotional language”; a statistic can carry it.
  • Logos: reasoning this audience counts as reasoning: statutes for legislators, costs for taxpayers.
  • The question: never “which appeal is this?” but “why this appeal, for these people, here?”
Passage

Description of: Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Address to the Legislature of New York, Albany, February 14, 1854. Summarized, not quoted.

Speaking for a women's rights convention just held in Albany, Stanton laid the petitions of New York women before a legislative committee. She built the case out of New York's own law rather than natural right: the statutes under which a married woman's wages belonged to her husband, under which she could not contract or sue in her own name, and under which a father could bind out a child without the mother's consent. Each disability was set beside a principle the legislators professed and shown to be the exception.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a lawyer's daughter who had read her father's law books and knew the code she was citing. Occasion, the petition session, the one hour these men were obliged to listen. Audience, legislators who alone could amend the statutes and did not think themselves unjust. Subject, the legal status of wives and mothers. Purpose: to make repeal the conservative option, a tidying of their own code.

Exam tip: “she uses ethos” is not a claim. Say what the ethos is made of and what it buys with this audience: that sentence is commentary; the label is not.

Model analysis

Stanton's decision to argue from statute rather than from natural right is an ethos move disguised as a logos move. Citing sections these men had passed forces them to hear their own handiwork read back, and it establishes her as a reader of law rather than a petitioner pleading: credibility no claim about justice could have produced in that room. It also controls the terms of refusal: a legislator who dismisses an appeal to abstract right looks prudent, while one who dismisses an inconsistency in his own code looks careless.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Stanton's choice to concede that these legislators believed themselves fair-minded men. Explain what the concession costs her and what it buys, and name the appeal it belongs to.

Show a model paragraph

Granting her audience its good opinion of itself is how Stanton keeps the room. If the men holding these statutes are not villains but inheritors, nothing she describes is an accusation, and a legislator can vote for repeal without confessing to anything. The concession costs her the language of outrage, the one thing this audience would have used to dismiss her, and buys an ethos of fairness, which is what makes the catalogue of disabilities land as evidence instead of complaint.

Why it scores: it treats the concession as a choice with a price, and explains how the appeal works on this audience rather than naming it.

Lesson 2.3 · Unit 2 · CED skill 2.B

Writing for a specified audience: same claim, different argument

Now you do it on purpose. When a prompt hands you an audience, the claim stays put and everything under it changes: which premise you start from, which example you reach for, how formal you sound. “Women should vote” argued to a legislature is a question of statute. Argued to a household magazine in 1910, it had to be a question of housekeeping.

Key moves
  • Start from their premise: open on something the audience already holds, not where you would start alone.
  • Pick the picturable example: the one this reader can see from where she sits, not the statistically best one.
  • Match the register: diction and sentence length say who you think you are addressing.
  • Redefine, don't refute: let an audience keep a value while widening what it covers.
  • Same claim, two arguments: the audience changes the warrant and the evidence, not the position.
Passage

Description of: Jane Addams, “Why Women Should Vote,” Ladies' Home Journal, January 1910. Summarized, not quoted.

Addams argues that the city has absorbed the work the household used to do for itself. Water, milk, garbage, sewers, tenement construction, the age at which a child may be sent to a factory: all of it is decided downtown, and a mother who wants a clean house and a healthy child cannot secure either by her own effort. She builds the case from her Hull-House neighbors, whose kitchens were as orderly as her readers' and whose children were sick anyway. The vote arrives as an extension of housekeeping, not a departure from it.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, the country's most respected settlement worker, known for service rather than agitation. Occasion, a suffrage campaign that kept losing state referenda. Audience, middle-class subscribers to a household magazine, many unconvinced and proud of the domestic role suffrage was said to threaten. Subject, municipal government. Purpose: to let a woman who believes her first duty is her home conclude that the ballot is part of that duty.

Exam tip: strong commentary names what this audience would have resisted, then shows how the choice routes around it.

Model analysis

Addams's controlling choice is to concede the premise her opponents thought decisive. She never disputes that a woman's first obligation is her household; she argues that the household has moved, and that half of it is now administered by the city. So no reader has to change her mind about herself in order to change her mind about voting: the identity stays, its territory grows. It also disarms the standard objection, since a woman voting to inspect the milk cannot easily be called a woman abandoning her children.

Write it

Imagine Addams's claim delivered to a state legislature instead. Write one paragraph naming the single biggest change the new audience forces (the premise, the example, or the level of diction), and explain why that audience requires it.

Show a model paragraph

Before a legislature the example has to change first, because a committee cannot act on a sick child. Addams's tenement kitchen persuades a reader who keeps one, but legislators vote on language, and what moves them is jurisdiction: which ordinances govern milk inspection, which body enforces them, who is unrepresented on the boards that do. The domestic frame would survive only as a premise, stated once and left behind, which is the test of an audience-fitted argument, the claim unchanged and almost nothing underneath it.

Why it scores: one specific choice, an explanation of what the new audience can act on, and a claim held fixed while the evidence moves.

Lesson 2.4 · Unit 2 · CED skill 3.B

Finding the overarching thesis in long-form nonfiction

Essays do not put their thesis where a five-paragraph theme does. In long-form nonfiction the governing claim usually waits until the writer has been fair to the other side: it sits at the pivot, after the praise and before the objection, or in the last paragraph as a conclusion the reader has been walked toward. Sometimes it is never written down at all.

Key moves
  • Overarching thesis: the one claim the whole text defends.
  • Where it hides: at the turn after a concession, or at the end; openings in long essays are occasion, not argument.
  • Thesis vs. topic sentence: a topic sentence governs a paragraph and often only describes; a thesis governs the text and is arguable.
  • Implied thesis: when none is stated, build one from what the parts share, as a disputable sentence.
  • Structural signal: a thesis naming its grounds is a map; their order is the order of the sections.
Passage

Source: W. E. B. Du Bois, “Of Mr. Booker T. Washington and Others,” The Souls of Black Folk, 1903.

Mr. Washington represents in Negro thought the old attitude of adjustment and submission; but adjustment at such a peculiar time as to make his programme unique. … But so far as Mr. Washington apologizes for injustice, North or South, does not rightly value the privilege and duty of voting, belittles the emasculating effects of caste distinctions, and opposes the higher training and ambition of our brighter minds, — so far as he, the South, or the Nation, does this, — we must unceasingly and firmly oppose them.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, an Atlanta University professor and the first African American to take a Harvard doctorate. Occasion, a chapter in a book of essays published when Washington's influence over Black schools, appointments, and newspapers was at its height. Audience, Northern readers of both races who assumed Washington spoke for all. Subject, the program of accommodation. Purpose controls the sentence: to make criticism of the most powerful Black man in America read as loyalty rather than betrayal.

Exam tip: an “identify the thesis” question rewards the sentence that is both arguable and comprehensive. The most vivid sentence is rarely it.

Model analysis

Du Bois writes his thesis as a condition, and the condition is what makes it survivable. “So far as” attaches opposition to specific conduct rather than to a man, so the chapter can credit Washington's achievement at length and still end in refusal without contradiction. The clause also does the work of an outline: apologizing for injustice, discounting the vote, belittling caste, opposing higher training, four grounds, in the order the argument takes them. The earlier sentence about “adjustment and submission” only classifies a position; this one demands something.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Du Bois's decision to state the thesis as a qualification rather than a flat judgment. Quote no more than six words, and explain what it does for readers who admired Washington.

Show a model paragraph

The qualification is how Du Bois keeps an audience he is about to disappoint. By opposing Washington only “so far as” he does four named things, the thesis leaves a reader free to admire everything else (the school, the discipline, the rise), and to agree without renouncing an allegiance. A flat verdict on the man would have forced a choice between two leaders and lost half the readers at once. Narrowing the target makes the disagreement about policy, the only ground on which those readers could be moved.

Why it scores: it treats the qualification as a rhetorical choice and turns a three-word quotation into commentary about what the choice protects.

Lesson 2.5 · Unit 2 · CED skill 4.B

Writing a defensible thesis: three failures and their repairs

Row A is worth one point and is decided in about ten seconds. Readers withhold it for the same three reasons every year: the sentence gives the prompt back, or it announces a topic, or it states something nobody disputes. All three are repairable, and the repair is the same move: say the thing someone could argue with.

Key moves
  • Defensible thesis: a claim requiring proof, because a reasonable reader could deny it.
  • Restating the prompt: “Wollstonecraft makes an argument about women's education.” Repair: answer it.
  • Announcing a topic: “This essay will examine her diction.” Repair: state the finding.
  • Stating a fact: “She wrote in 1792.” Repair: say what follows from it.
  • The test: say it aloud and ask what someone could answer; silence means a topic. A qualification (“less a plea for schooling than a claim about reason”) makes a thesis more defensible, not less.
Passage

Source: Mary Wollstonecraft, A Vindication of the Rights of Woman, Introduction, 1792.

I have turned over various books written on the subject of education, and patiently observed the conduct of parents and the management of schools; but what has been the result? — a profound conviction that the neglected education of my fellow-creatures is the grand source of the misery I deplore; and that women, in particular, are rendered weak and wretched by a variety of concurring causes, originating from one hasty conclusion. … My own sex, I hope, will excuse me, if I treat them like rational creatures, instead of flattering their fascinating graces …

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a self-supporting writer who had kept a school and worked as a governess. Occasion, Talleyrand's report to the French assembly proposing that girls' public education stop early; the book is addressed to him. Audience, that statesman and an English public arguing about the Revolution. Subject, the education of women. Purpose: to move the explanation of women's weakness from nature to schooling, which is why the sentence is a thesis and not an observation.

Exam tip: don't spend the reading period polishing. A thesis naming a choice and its effect earns Row A; the remaining time belongs to Row B.

Model analysis

Wollstonecraft stages her thesis as the result of an inquiry rather than the opening of an opinion. The books turned over and the schools observed come first, and the question “but what has been the result?” converts the claim that follows into an answer: answers arrive owing evidence, and readers grant them a hearing assertions do not get. The claim is then built to be disputable: women are “rendered weak,” a participle that puts the cause outside them and invites the obvious reply that the weakness is natural.

Write it

A student writes this thesis on the passage: “Wollstonecraft uses rhetorical questions and strong diction to argue about the education of women.” Write one paragraph naming which of the three failures it commits, rewriting it as a defensible thesis, and saying what someone could answer back.

Show a model paragraph

The sentence announces a topic: it promises that devices will be discussed and commits to no claim about them. Rewritten, it might say that Wollstonecraft presents her argument as the conclusion of an investigation so that a claim about women's nature will be heard as a finding about their schooling. That version is deniable, which is the point: a reader could answer that the inquiry is only a frame and her real appeal is to her audience's pride in reason. An available objection is what makes a sentence worth an essay.

Why it scores: it diagnoses the failure, supplies a claim that could be contradicted, and names the contradiction, the test Row A applies.

Lesson 2.6 · Unit 2 · CED skills 4.B and 3.B

Theses that preview: when a map helps and when it becomes a list

Some theses tell you the shape of what follows. That is useful when the parts depend on one another and useless when they are just three things the writer noticed. The difference is not length or elegance: it is whether removing an item breaks the argument.

Key moves
  • Preview: a thesis naming its grounds in the order the argument takes them.
  • When to preview: when the reasoning is cumulative and a reader needs to know what each part is for.
  • Preview vs. formula: a preview names claims that lean on each other; a formula names topics joined by “and.”
  • The device list: “uses diction, imagery, and parallelism” promises a tour, and a tour has no line of reasoning.
  • The removal test: take one item out; if the argument still stands, you wrote a list.
Passage

Source: Thomas Jefferson and the Second Continental Congress, Declaration of Independence, Philadelphia, July 4, 1776, the second paragraph.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it … But when a long train of abuses and usurpations … evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a congress of colonial delegates, Jefferson drafting and the body editing. Occasion, a separation already decided, more than a year into fighting. Audience, the “candid world” named in the text: foreign courts whose recognition and money were needed, and a colonial public still divided. Subject, the grounds of separation. Purpose: to make a rebellion read as the conclusion of a legal argument.

Exam tip: previewing is not required for Row A, and previewing devices usually costs Row B, because the essay then tours instead of reasoning.

Model analysis

The paragraph is a syllogism, and the syllogism is the outline of everything after it. Rights exist; governments are made to secure them by “the consent of the governed”; a government that destroys them may be replaced, but only past a threshold, “a long train of abuses.” That last clause does the structural work. It tells a reader that the grievances to come are not complaints but the missing premise, and it explains why there must be so many: one abuse would be light and transient, and the argument needs a pattern.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about the decision to set a threshold before listing a single grievance. Quote no more than six words, and explain what it does to the long list of complaints that follows.

Show a model paragraph

Setting the bar first turns a list of grievances into evidence for a claim already stated. Because only “a long train of abuses” justifies separation, each item that follows stops being a grievance in its own right and becomes one point in a pattern, which is why the catalogue can afford entries a reader might think small. The audience abroad is handed a test, then the proof that it is met. A writer who listed the complaints first would have had to argue at the end that they added up.

Why it scores: one structural choice, a short quotation, and commentary on what the choice does to the rest of the text rather than a summary of it.

Unit 2 review · 10 multiple-choice

Unit 2 review: audience and thesis

Six reading questions on one passage and four revision questions on a student draft, covering the beliefs and values an argument is built on (2.1–2.3), where an overarching thesis hides and what it previews (2.4, 2.6), and the three ways a thesis fails to be defensible (2.5): click an option to see why it is right or wrong.

Multiple choice

  1. Source: Susan B. Anthony, “Is It a Crime for a Citizen of the United States to Vote?”, Monroe and Ontario Counties, New York, 1873.

    It was we, the people; not we, the white male citizens; nor yet we, the male citizens; but we, the whole people, who formed the Union. And we formed it, not to give the blessings of liberty, but to secure them; not to the half of ourselves and the half of our posterity, but to the whole people — women as well as men. And it is a downright mockery to talk to women of their enjoyment of the blessings of liberty while they are denied the use of the only means of securing them provided by this democratic-republican government — the ballot.

    Anthony delivered this speech, under indictment for having voted, in the counties from which her jury would be drawn. The rhetorical situation is best described as

    A speech to allies can assume the conclusion and argue about tactics; this one argues the conclusion itself, from a document, in the vocabulary of a courtroom. The exigence was a pending trial, not a campaign meeting.

    The passage is spoken to a room, “it is a downright mockery to talk to women”, and it appeals to a general sense of the preamble rather than to case law. A brief argues to one official; this argues to the people the official would seat as jurors.

    Correct. The exigence is the indictment, the audience is the pool her jury would come from, and the purpose follows: if the Constitution already made her a voter, a juror can acquit without approving of woman suffrage at all. Naming that gap between what the speaker wants and what she asks for is the situation question's real work.

    Nothing here recommends that anyone break a law; the argument is that no law was broken, which is the opposite move. A choice that reverses a speaker's legal posture is worth catching, because the whole strategy depends on it.

  2. In the passage above, the claim the writer most clearly advances is that

    Correct. Every sentence serves this: the Union was formed by “the whole people,” it was formed “to secure” liberty rather than to hand it out, and the ballot is “the only means of securing” it. The claim is disputable, an opponent could answer that the preamble grants nothing to anyone, which is what makes it a thesis rather than a summary.

    Gradualism is exactly what the argument refuses; the right is presented as already held, not as something ripening. Watch for choices that make a speaker more moderate than the text does.

    An argument from merit would have to describe women's conduct, and this passage describes none. It rests on who made the Constitution, not on who has since deserved something, and the difference is the whole of her legal strategy.

    This reverses the passage, which sets the national Constitution above any state's rules. A true statement about nineteenth-century election law is not a claim the text makes.

  3. Which choice best describes the function of the series in the passage above: “not we, the white male citizens; nor yet we, the male citizens; but we, the whole people”?

    The series concedes nothing; it denies twice and then affirms. Reading a negative series as a concession is a common slip, and it would hand the argument to the other side before it began.

    Correct. The preamble does not say “white male citizens” or “male citizens,” so naming those phrases and rejecting them shows that an opponent must add words to the text while she need only read it. The order matters too: each rejected version is less restrictive than the last, so the burden of proof moves further onto her opponent with every clause.

    The three phrases are competing descriptions of one group, the people who “formed the Union”, not a census of voters. Reading a rhetorical series as a set of real categories is the trap here.

    No listener's character is mentioned anywhere in the series; the subject stays fixed on who wrote the preamble's “we.” A choice that moves the target of a passage is worth testing against the actual words.

  4. In the passage above, the line of reasoning moves from

    There is no sympathy in the passage and no narrative of the arrest; the speaker argues from a document rather than from her own treatment. Describing a line of reasoning means following the claims that are there, not the ones the occasion suggests.

    No state law is surveyed and no amendment is proposed: proposing one would concede that the right does not yet exist, which is precisely what she refuses to concede. A distractor that contradicts the speaker's strategy is usually the one to eliminate first.

    She never grants that a law was broken. The argument is that the Constitution authorized the vote, so an unjust-law argument would give away the ground the whole speech is standing on.

    Correct. Each step earns the next: because the whole people formed the Union, the purpose was to secure liberty for all of them; because the ballot is the only means of securing it, denying the ballot to half the people defeats the purpose she has just established. That is a chain, not a list.

  5. In the passage above, the effect of distinguishing a government formed “not to give the blessings of liberty, but to secure them” is to

    The distinction does the opposite work: a government that secures a right presupposes that the right is already there. Conceding that nothing was granted would collapse the argument she spends the passage building.

    Correct. “Give” makes the vote a gift a legislature may withhold; “secure” makes it the mechanism protecting something the holder already owns. Once the ballot is the means rather than the prize, denying it is a failure of duty rather than a refusal of a request, which is why the word choice is the argument and not decoration.

    “Secure” here means to make safe, not to provide security in the sense of order, and no comparison between the two values appears. Reading a word in its most familiar modern sense is how precise diction questions are missed.

    Generosity is the idea the sentence rules out: a gift is exactly what she denies the framers were making. A choice can name a real feature of the sentence and still assign it the wrong effect.

  6. In the passage above, the writer's assumptions about her audience are best described as

    Correct. The preamble is never defended, only read, it is the premise the audience is assumed to hold, and the conclusion is offered as what that premise requires. That is the audience-fitted move: leave the belief intact and widen what it covers.

    Supporters would not need the preamble parsed phrase by phrase. The care taken to strike out “white male citizens” shows she expects readers who assume the narrower meaning.

    She quotes the preamble as something her listeners know by heart and can check against her paraphrase; no history of its drafting appears. An audience question asks what the text assumes is already shared.

    The argument is deliberately non-technical (no statute, no case, no jurisdictional analysis), because ordinary citizens, not lawyers, would sit in the jury box. Naming a plausible secondary audience is not the same as naming the one the text is built for.

  7. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about arguments written for a particular audience.

    (1) Jane Addams published “Why Women Should Vote” in the Ladies' Home Journal in January 1910. (2) Most of her readers were middle-class women who believed that a woman's first duty was to her household. (3) The essay is effective. (4) Addams never disputes that duty. (5) She argues that the work of the household has moved downtown, so a woman who wants a clean house and a healthy child now needs a ballot.

    The writer wants to replace sentence 3 with a sentence that states a defensible claim about the essay. Which version of sentence 3 best accomplishes this goal?

    This trades one preference for another: “effective” becomes “moving,” and there is still nothing a reader could dispute or that the paragraph could prove. Readers withhold Row A for exactly this sentence every year.

    The circulation is a verifiable fact, and facts make good evidence and bad theses: nobody will argue with it, so nothing follows from it. Ask what someone could say back; silence means you have written a fact.

    Correct. It is arguable (a reader could answer that conceding the domestic premise limited how far the argument could go), it is specific to this essay, and sentences 4 and 5 already supply the proof. A thesis that could be contradicted is the one worth an essay.

    Announcing a topic promises that something will be discussed and commits to no claim about it. The repair is always to state the finding the paragraph would have reached anyway.

  8. In the draft above, the writer wants to add a sentence after sentence 5 that provides specific evidence for the claim that the work of the household has moved downtown. Which of the following, if added after sentence 5, best accomplishes this goal?

    Her fame is true and it helps explain why the magazine printed her, but it says nothing about where household work is now done. Evidence has to bear on the claim actually made, and this bears on a different one.

    Correct. It names the particular tasks and the particular bodies that had taken them over, which is exactly what “the work has moved downtown” asserts. Specific, checkable, and aimed at the disputable part of the claim: the three things Row B looks for.

    Opposition to suffrage is real and relevant to the essay's difficulty, but it is evidence about Addams's audience rather than about municipal housekeeping. A true statement that answers a nearby question is the most tempting kind of wrong evidence.

    A general observation about housework, offered without a date or a source, supports nothing in particular and would be granted by both sides. Evidence that no one would dispute cannot settle a dispute.

  9. In the draft above, the writer wants sentence 5 to show that Addams substitutes a different argument for the dispute she declines in sentence 4. Which of the following is the best way to begin sentence 5?

    Correct. Sentence 4 says what Addams does not do and sentence 5 says what she does in its place, which is the substitution relationship “instead” exists to name. A transition earns its place only when it names the relationship the sentences actually have.

    “Similarly” claims the two sentences do the same kind of work, and they do opposite kinds: one withholds a move, the other supplies a different one. A wrong signpost is worse than none, because a reader follows it into the wrong reading.

    Sentence 5 is not caused by sentence 4; declining to dispute the premise does not produce the argument about municipal housekeeping. Causal transitions are the easiest to drop in and the easiest to get wrong.

    Sentence 5 is not an example of not disputing something; it is the alternative argument itself. “For example” promises an instance of the previous idea, and a reader who goes looking for one will not find it.

  10. In the draft above, the writer wants to combine sentences 1 and 2 to emphasize the audience Addams was writing for. Which version best accomplishes this goal?

    Joining the originals with “and” keeps both facts at equal weight and changes nothing about emphasis. Combining is only worth doing when the new shape puts the important idea where a reader's attention lands.

    The opening phrase now attaches to “readers,” so the readers were published in the magazine. Beyond the dangling modifier, the version still leaves the audience as an afterthought rather than the point.

    Burying the audience in a relative clause and ending on the magazine and the date does the reverse of what the goal asks. Whatever sits in the subordinate slot is what you are telling a reader to treat as background.

    Correct. The date becomes the setting, and the main clause ends on readers “who believed that a woman's first duty was to her household”: the belief the rest of the paragraph is about. End position carries the emphasis, so the combination puts the audience there.

Lesson 3.1 · Unit 3 · CED skill 5.A

The line of reasoning: how claims carry a thesis to a conclusion

A thesis is a destination; the line of reasoning is the road: the ordered claims that move a reader from what they already believe to what they do not. When an argument feels unconvincing and you cannot say why, the trouble is usually here: a step is missing, or one claim does no work. The exam asks you to describe that order, then judge it. One job is a map, the other a verdict.

Key moves
  • Line of reasoning: the ordered claims carrying a thesis; each earns the next.
  • Method of development: the pattern they follow: narration, cause and effect, comparison, definition.
  • Outline it in five sentences: one per move, in the writer's order.
  • The load test: delete a claim; if the thesis stands, it was decoration.
  • Support, not restatement: a step counts only if it adds something new.
Passage

Source: Abraham Lincoln, “A House Divided,” Springfield, Illinois, June 16, 1858.

If we could first know where we are, and whither we are tending, we could then better judge what to do, and how to do it. We are now far into the fifth year, since a policy was initiated, with the avowed object, and confident promise, of putting an end to slavery agitation. Under the operation of that policy, that agitation has not only, not ceased, but has constantly augmented. In my opinion, it will not cease, until a crisis shall have been reached, and passed. “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” I believe this government cannot endure, permanently half slave and half free.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a country lawyer just nominated by the new Illinois Republicans to run against Stephen Douglas. Occasion, the close of the state convention, the text in the papers next morning. Audience, Republicans tempted to let Douglas carry the anti-slavery vote for them. Purpose controls the order: Lincoln needed a reason to deny Douglas that support, and the chain (policy, promise, result, prediction) is the reason.

Exam tip: “describe the line of reasoning” asks for the order, not a list. Write “he first establishes …, which lets him claim …, so that …,” never “he uses logos and pathos.”

Model analysis

Lincoln builds the shortest chain he can, and its force is in where the last link sits. He opens with a test anyone can run, “whither we are tending”, which makes five years of history the evidence rather than anyone's opinion of slavery. A policy adopted on a “confident promise” of ending agitation produced agitation that “has constantly augmented.” Only after the promise has failed on its own terms does the proposition arrive: stated first, a house divided is a prophecy a listener may decline; arriving fourth, it is the only explanation left for what the audience has just watched.

Write it

Describe Lincoln's line of reasoning in one paragraph, in his order and your own words, then judge it: does the chain support the claim that the government “cannot endure, permanently half slave and half free”? Quote no more than six words.

Show a model paragraph

Lincoln reasons from a broken prediction to a structural one. Asking where the country is tending turns a moral dispute into a question of record. The policy sold as a settlement produced agitation that “has constantly augmented,” from which he infers that the conflict cannot end until a crisis is “reached, and passed”: the step that converts five years into a claim about the future. Only then does the divided house explain why. The chain holds, but that leap to permanence is its weak link: a listener who thought the agitation temporary is never answered, only outweighed.

Why it scores: it describes the order instead of naming devices, and ends on a judgment about whether the reasoning holds.

Lesson 3.2 · Unit 3 · CED skill 3.A

Evaluating evidence: relevance, sufficiency, representativeness, interest

Citing something is not proving something. Evidence earns its place only when it bears on the claim actually made, when there is enough of it to carry a claim that size, when the case is typical of what it stands in for, and when you know what the source stood to gain. Skip the last one and you will be impressed by a number that was chosen to impress you.

Key moves
  • Relevance: does it bear on this claim, or on a neighboring one?
  • Sufficiency: is there enough of it for a claim this large?
  • Representativeness: is the case typical, or chosen because it is not?
  • The source's interest: what did the compiler gain? Evidence from a hostile source is the hardest kind to wave away.
  • Cherry-picking: true examples selected to misrepresent the set; the repair is a count, not a better anecdote.
Passage

Description of: Ida B. Wells, A Red Record, Chicago, 1895, chapter 1. Summarized, not quoted.

Wells opens by refusing to argue from her own testimony. Instead she takes the annual tallies of lynchings that the Chicago Tribune, a white-owned paper, had been compiling and printing for years, and rests her case on them: names, dates, places, and the offense alleged in each instance. Counting rather than narrating lets her make a claim about the whole decade rather than about the cases she happened to know, and to show that the stated charge was, in a large share of them, not the one her readers assumed.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, an investigator and former Memphis editor, driven out of the city in 1892 and writing from Chicago. Occasion, the close of a decade of published counts and two lecture tours in Britain that had embarrassed American churches into responding. Audience, Northern and British readers who believed what the papers told them. Purpose is the thing to hold: she needs the record to testify, because her own word will be discounted before it is heard.

Exam tip: “uses evidence” is not analysis. Name the test the evidence has to pass and the audience it has to pass it for.

Model analysis

Wells's decisive choice is to let the arithmetic belong to somebody else. Building from the Tribune's tallies satisfies two tests at once: sufficiency, because a count kept across years cannot be dismissed as an isolated incident, and representativeness, because the cases were selected by a compiler with no stake in her conclusion. Relevance is where she still has to work, since a tally records that killings happened and not why. So she argues from the gap between the charge the paper printed and the account it printed later: the one claim the numbers can actually carry.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Wells's decision to argue from a count she did not compile. Name the test of evidence the choice is built to pass, and name one thing the choice makes her unable to claim.

Show a model paragraph

Wells borrows her opponents' arithmetic to buy representativeness she could not otherwise afford. Cases she gathered herself invite the reply that she chose them; a tally assembled year after year by a white-owned paper for its own purposes cannot be called selective in her favor without discrediting the paper. The cost is a ceiling on her claims. The count records what the paper was told the offense was, not what was proved, so she can argue about the accusations and their inconsistencies but cannot use the count alone to settle what any accused person did. Staying inside what the evidence supports is exactly why the argument is hard to answer.

Why it scores: it names the specific test the evidence is built to pass and then states the limit the choice imposes, the qualification readers reward.

Lesson 3.3 · Unit 3 · CED skills 3.A and 4.A

Quantitative evidence: what a table claims and what it cannot

A table looks like a fact and behaves like a claim. Somebody decided what to count, what counted, which year to stop, and which column comes first. Every one of those decisions is a rhetorical choice you can name, and naming it is the difference between “the data shows” and analysis.

Key moves
  • Read the header first: the column names and the unit of measure say what was actually counted.
  • Find the threshold: nearly every count carries a cutoff or a definition that excludes something.
  • Cite precisely: the figure, the unit, the year, and the compiler, inside your own sentence.
  • Claim no more than the table carries: a count of reports is not a count of things.
  • Describe before you interpret: one sentence saying what the table shows, then the sentence saying what it means.
Passage

Description of: United States Bureau of Education, Public Libraries in the United States of America, Washington, 1876: one summary table, described rather than quoted.

The table runs the states and territories down the left-hand column. Across the top are the number of libraries reporting, the volumes they held, and the volumes added during the year. Its totals are 3,682 libraries holding 12,276,964 volumes. A note fixes the scope: only libraries of 300 volumes and upwards that answered the Bureau's circular are counted. Massachusetts and New York stand at the head of the list; the newest western territories sit at the foot.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): The compiler is the federal Bureau of Education, which assembled the volume by mailing a circular to every library it could identify and tabulating what came back. Occasion, the nation's centennial, and a Congress being asked to treat libraries as part of public education. Audience, legislators and school officials, plus the librarians who met in Philadelphia that year to found their professional association. Purpose shapes the columns: a bureau arguing that libraries are schools counts volumes, because volumes look like schooling.

Exam tip: cite the number the way the source defined it. “3,682 libraries of 300 volumes and upwards reporting to the Bureau in 1876” is evidence; “thousands of libraries” is not.

Model analysis

The Bureau's most consequential choice is the threshold. Counting only collections of 300 volumes and upwards, and only those that answered a circular, converts an unknowable national total into a defensible one, and quietly settles an argument in advance. Sunday-school shelves and parlor collections fall out; what remains looks institutional, which is the category the Bureau wants Congress to fund. The definition also disciplines the Bureau's own claims: because the table counts returns, the honest sentence it supports is that 3,682 libraries reported, not that 3,682 existed.

Write it

Write one paragraph that uses this table as evidence for a claim about American reading in 1876. Cite one figure precisely, with its definition attached, and include one sentence saying what the table cannot show.

Show a model paragraph

The Bureau's table is better evidence of institutional ambition than of national reading. It counts 3,682 libraries holding 12,276,964 volumes, but only libraries of 300 volumes and upwards, and only those that returned a government circular. That definition builds a particular country: one where reading happens in organized collections large enough to keep a mailing address and answer the mail. Whether anyone opened the volumes, and whether the smaller shelves the threshold excludes served more readers, lie outside what the count can reach. Cited with its threshold attached, the figure proves that libraries had become countable: a claim about administration, which is what a bureau is positioned to demonstrate.

Why it scores: it cites the figure with the definition attached and states the limit of the evidence, the qualification that keeps a data-based claim defensible.

Lesson 3.4 · Unit 3 · CED skills 4.A and 6.A

Integrating a source: the shortest quotable unit and the sandwich

A dropped quotation is a piece of someone else's writing sitting in your paragraph with no job. The repair is not a longer quotation; it is a shorter one, with a sentence of yours on both sides. Attribute it, keep only the words you intend to analyze, then say what those words are doing there.

Key moves
  • Signal phrase: attribution inside your sentence: “As Rhys argues …,” “Wells reports that ….”
  • Shortest quotable unit: usually three to eight words; never a sentence you will not touch.
  • The sandwich: attribute, quote, comment. Only the comment is yours, so it has to be the longest part.
  • Paraphrase when the information matters and the wording does not; summarize when only the shape of the source matters.
  • Fit: read the whole sentence aloud with the quotation in it. It must still parse.
Passage

Source: Virginia Woolf, “The Modern Essay,” The Common Reader, London, 1925.

As Mr. Rhys truly says, it is unnecessary to go profoundly into the history and origin of the essay — whether it derives from Socrates or Siranney the Persian — since, like all living things, its present matters more than its past. The family is widely spread; and while some of its representatives have risen in the world and wear their coronets with the best, others pick up a precarious living in the gutter near Fleet Street. … The essay can be short or long, serious or trifling, about God and Spinoza, or about turtles and Cheapside.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a novelist writing as a reviewer rather than a theorist. Occasion, a piece for her 1925 collection prompted by Ernest Rhys's multi-volume anthology of modern English essays. Audience, the common reader of her title: people who read for pleasure and hold no professional stake. Subject is the essay itself, but purpose is what to hold on to: a reviewer who opens on someone else's book has to get free of it fast, and she does it in four words.

Exam tip: “the writer uses a quote” names no choice. The choice is which words were kept, and what the sentence around them is doing.

Model analysis

Woolf's opening clause does a paragraph's work. “As Mr. Rhys truly says” concedes the anthologist's point, credits him for it, and disposes of it in one breath: the concession is what lets her skip a history he has already written and begin where she means to be, in the present. Notice that she paraphrases rather than quotes him: nothing in his wording will be analyzed, so reproducing it would spend a reader's attention on a sentence she is leaving behind. The sentences she keeps in her own voice are the ones carrying images (coronets, the Fleet Street gutter, turtles and Cheapside), because those are the claims she intends to defend.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Woolf's decision to open on somebody else's book. Use a signal phrase, quote no more than six words, and end on your own commentary rather than on Woolf's words.

Show a model paragraph

Woolf uses attribution to clear the field. She grants at once, crediting Rhys, that “its present matters more than its past,” and putting the concession in his mouth makes her dismissal of essay history look like agreement rather than impatience. The move costs her nothing and buys her the whole essay: having ceded the origins to the anthologist, she is free to spend her own sentences on the living form, which is where her argument about pleasure will have to be won. A reader who came for literary history has been thanked and redirected before the first paragraph ends.

Why it earns the point: an arguable claim about one choice, a short attributed quotation fitted into the writer's own sentence, and commentary longer than the evidence it explains.

Lesson 3.5 · Unit 3 · CED skills 4.A and 6.A

Building a body paragraph: claim, evidence, commentary

Row B of every AP Lang rubric comes down to proportion. Readers award a 4 when the commentary explains how the evidence supports the claim, not that it does, which means the last third of a paragraph is where the score lives, and most students spend it on another quotation. A paragraph with the right shape reads like a hand-off: your claim, the writer's words, your reasoning, and then you are the one still talking.

Key moves
  • Claim first: one arguable sentence, in your words, before any evidence.
  • Evidence, attributed and short: the fewest words that let you make the point.
  • Commentary explains the mechanism: what the choice does to this audience, and why that serves the purpose.
  • The ratio: commentary longer than evidence, every time. Equal lengths mean you wrote a report.
  • End on reasoning: a paragraph that ends on a quotation stopped one sentence early.
Passage

Source: Frederick Douglass, “Self-Made Men,” a lecture first delivered in 1859 and revised through 1872.

I do not think much of the good luck theory of self-made men. It is worth but little attention and has no practical value. An apple carelessly flung into a crowd may hit one person, or it may hit another, or it may hit nobody. … My theory of self-made men is, then, simply this; that they are men of work. Whether or not such men have acquired material, moral or intellectual excellence, honest labor faithfully, steadily and persistently pursued, is the best, most promising and most reliable means of success.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, the most famous formerly enslaved man in America, delivering the lecture audiences requested most; he gave it for decades and kept revising it. Occasion, the paid lyceum circuit: evening lectures in halls and churches, where people came to be improved. Audience, mixed and largely white, many of them convinced that success proves merit. Purpose is the pressure on every sentence: Douglass must praise work without conceding that whoever has not risen failed to try.

Exam tip: “this shows that” is an empty slot. The commentary is whatever you put after it, so put something there.

Model analysis

Douglass clears the ground before he builds on it, and the order is the argument. He disposes of luck first, an apple “carelessly flung into a crowd” may hit anyone or no one, which is not really a claim about work but a claim about explanation: luck explains nothing because it predicts nothing. Only then does “My theory of self-made men is, then, simply this” arrive, and that “then” carries the logic, presenting the thesis as the remainder rather than a preference. The stack of adverbs that follows narrows what he has promised before anyone can test it.

Write it

Write one body paragraph about Douglass's choice to qualify his claim rather than state it absolutely. Open with an arguable claim of your own, quote no more than eight words with attribution, and make the commentary longer than the evidence.

Show a model paragraph

Douglass buys credibility with a qualification most speakers would have cut. He does not say that work produces success; he says that honest labor is “the best, most promising and most reliable means” of it. Three hedges sit inside that phrase, and each one anticipates a listener holding a counterexample: the diligent man who failed, the idle man who inherited. Conceding in advance that the rule has exceptions makes the rule harder to refute, and it fends off an implication Douglass cannot afford: that everyone still poor simply did not try. In front of an audience inclined to read success as proof of virtue, the qualification is not weakness. It is what keeps the lecture from becoming a verdict on the people in the room.

Why it scores: a claim about one choice, a short attributed quotation, and commentary twice the length of its evidence that ends on reasoning rather than on Douglass.

Lesson 3.6 · Unit 3 · CED skills 4.A and 6.A

Putting sources in conversation: agreement, extension, tension, qualification

A synthesis essay that walks through its sources one at a time is a tour, not an argument. The repair is a single sentence type: one that makes two sources touch. Once you can write that sentence, the sources stop being a list and start being evidence for a claim of your own.

Key moves
  • Agreement: the second source confirms the first, but only counts if it adds a reason rather than an echo.
  • Extension: the second takes the first's principle somewhere the first did not.
  • Tension: both answer the same question differently. Name the question, or it is only topic overlap.
  • Qualification: the second accepts the first within limits. The most useful relationship and the least used.
  • The conversation sentence: “X holds that …; Y grants that far, but ….” Write it before you write the paragraph.
Passage

Source: Benjamin Franklin, speech at the close of the Constitutional Convention, Philadelphia, September 17, 1787, as recorded by James Madison.

I confess that there are several parts of this constitution which I do not at present approve, but I am not sure I shall never approve them: For having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged by better information, or fuller consideration, to change opinions even on important subjects. … Thus I consent, Sir, to this Constitution because I expect no better.

Source: Henry David Thoreau, “Civil Disobedience,” 1849.

Unjust laws exist: shall we be content to obey them, or shall we endeavor to amend them, and obey them until we have succeeded, or shall we transgress them at once? … If it requires you to be the agent of injustice to another, then, I say, break the law. Let your life be a counter friction to stop the machine.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Franklin is eighty-one, too weak to speak, so James Wilson reads the text for him on the convention's final day to colleagues who had lost arguments and were being asked to sign anyway; that audience is in the room and can be counted. Thoreau writes sixty-two years later as a private citizen who had spent a night in jail over a tax, addressing readers facing no vote at all. Both take up one subject, what a citizen owes a government he judges to be wrong, and the difference in occasion produces the difference in purpose: Franklin needs signatures tonight, Thoreau needs a conscience tomorrow.

Exam tip: the conversation happens in your sentence, not in a transition. “However” dropped between two summaries is not synthesis.

Model analysis

These are not opposite positions; they are answers to one question on different clocks. Franklin's concession is temporal: he does not approve parts of the document “at present,” and he distrusts his own judgment because he has been corrected before, so consenting now costs him nothing he cannot revise later. Thoreau removes exactly that option. A law that makes a citizen “the agent of injustice” does its damage in the present tense, and there is no later to defer to. The relationship is therefore qualification rather than contradiction: Thoreau would grant Franklin everything about fallible judgment and then observe that fallibility argues for waiting only when waiting is free.

Write it

Write one paragraph putting Franklin and Thoreau in conversation on a single question: when may a citizen consent to a government he believes is wrong? Name the relationship (agreement, extension, tension, or qualification) quote no more than six words from each, and end on your own reasoning.

Show a model paragraph

The relationship is qualification, not tension: Thoreau accepts Franklin's reasoning and then limits where it may apply. Franklin consents “because I expect no better,” a calculation about the alternatives available in one room on one night, and he is careful to keep the judgment open: he withholds approval only “at present.” Thoreau's test has nothing to do with alternatives. A law that makes a citizen “the agent of injustice” turns him into the instrument, and an instrument cannot suspend what it is doing while better options are sought. Read together, the two supply the condition neither states: Franklin's patience is defensible exactly as long as the imperfect government is not, at this moment, using the person being asked to wait.

Why it scores: it names the relationship, quotes short from both sources, and ends on a claim neither source makes, the synthesis move Rows B and C reward.

Unit 3 review · 10 multiple-choice

Unit 3 review: evidence, sources, and the line of reasoning

Six reading questions on one passage and four revision questions on a student draft, covering the chain of claims that carries a thesis (3.1), the tests evidence must pass (3.2), what a table can and cannot claim (3.3), attributing and fitting a source (3.4), the claim–evidence–commentary paragraph (3.5), and qualification as a relationship between positions (3.6): click an option to see why it is right or wrong.

Multiple choice

  1. Source: Henry David Thoreau, “Civil Disobedience,” 1849: the opening paragraph.

    I heartily accept the motto, — “That government is best which governs least;” and I should like to see it acted up to more rapidly and systematically. Carried out, it finally amounts to this, which also I believe, — “That government is best which governs not at all;” and when men are prepared for it, that will be the kind of government which they will have. Government is at best but an expedient; but most governments are usually, and all governments are sometimes, inexpedient.

    Thoreau first delivered this material as a lecture in Concord and published it in 1849, after a night in jail for refusing a tax to a government that was waging war on Mexico and protecting slavery. The rhetorical situation is best described as

    A petition asks a body with power to do one thing, and this passage asks nobody for anything; it examines the idea of government itself. The exigence was a private refusal, not a bill before a legislature.

    Nothing here is addressed to a court or concerned with a verdict, and the argument would have been useless as a legal defense: “most governments are usually inexpedient” is not a plea. Occasion and audience have to be read off the text.

    The passage names no event, date, or decision to respond to. An essay can be provoked by events and still be built for readers who will meet it years later, which is what the general, timeless phrasing signals here.

    Correct. The audience is readers with no vote on the matter and no office to use, which is exactly why the argument runs on conscience rather than on policy: the only thing such readers control is their own compliance. Naming who can act on a text is the fastest route into its purpose.

  2. In the passage above, the claim the writer most clearly advances is that

    He endorses no-government only as a future condition, “when men are prepared for it,” and calls government “at best but an expedient”: useful sometimes, which is not the same as evil always. Pushing a writer past his own qualifier is the most common way to misstate a claim.

    Correct. “Expedient” is the word the whole paragraph turns on: it makes government a means rather than a good in itself, so the test becomes usefulness and the verdict follows from the final sentence. The claim is arguable, a reader could hold that government is a good in itself, which is what makes it a thesis.

    Cost never appears; the standard offered is expediency, not economy. A plausible reason for a position the writer holds is still a distractor if the text does not give that reason.

    This inverts the sentence about preparation. Thoreau says people will have no government once they are ready for it, not that they need a strong one until then: the direction of the conditional is the whole point.

  3. Which choice best describes the function of the second sentence in the passage above (“Carried out, it finally amounts to this, which also I believe…”)?

    Nothing is withdrawn; the motto is extended rather than abandoned, and the writer says he wants it “acted up to more rapidly.” Reading an extension as a retreat reverses the paragraph's direction.

    No government, year, or number appears anywhere in the sentence. It works by following an accepted premise out to its consequence, which is reasoning rather than evidence, and telling the two apart is much of what function questions test.

    Correct. The first motto was common property among his readers; the second is his, and it arrives as the destination of theirs rather than as a new assertion. That is why the sentence says “which also I believe”: the belief is smuggled in as arithmetic performed on the audience's own saying.

    “Expedient” is the closest thing to a defined term here, and it appears in the next sentence rather than this one. A function question asks what the named part does for the argument, not what the paragraph as a whole contains.

  4. In the passage above, the line of reasoning moves from

    Correct. Each step earns the next: accepting the familiar motto makes the extreme version its conclusion rather than a new claim, and the closing sentence supplies the standard, expediency, under which both can be judged. Describing that order is what “describe the line of reasoning” asks for.

    The night in jail is famous, but it is not in this paragraph; the opening offers no story at all. Importing what you know about a text instead of reading the printed lines is how reasoning questions go wrong.

    There is no catalogue of abuses and no demand for abolition: the abolition of government is placed in a future when people are prepared for it. A distractor built from a writer's reputation is still a distractor.

    No objection is stated and no opponent appears. The first sentence looks accommodating because it accepts something, but what it accepts is a premise he will use, not a challenge he must answer.

  5. In the passage above, the effect of the qualifiers in “most governments are usually, and all governments are sometimes, inexpedient” is to

    A claim can be hedged and still bite. This one leaves every government defective at least sometimes, which is enough to support a duty to judge one's own, so there is plenty left to resist.

    The qualifiers are precise rather than vague: “most … usually” and “all … sometimes” state two different scopes deliberately. Mistaking a careful qualification for indecision is exactly the error the exam tests here.

    The sentence makes his government a member of the class, not an exception: “all governments are sometimes” leaves nothing outside. Exempting the writer's own side would be the opposite of the move being made.

    Correct. The pairing works in two directions at once: the weaker scope (“most … usually”) is hard to dispute, and the universal one (“all … sometimes”) guarantees that no reader can place his own government outside the argument. That is qualification used to strengthen a claim rather than to soften it.

  6. In the passage above, the writer's assumptions about his audience are best described as

    Officeholders would be asked to do something; these readers are asked only to judge. The absence of any request for legislation is the clearest sign of who is being addressed.

    A hostile audience has to be refuted, and nothing here refutes anyone. The opening instead assumes agreement and spends its effort on where that agreement leads, which is a move you make with readers you expect to be friendly.

    Correct. He quotes the motto as something already in circulation, accepts it “heartily,” and then argues that his readers have not taken their own saying seriously enough. The strategy only works on an audience that holds the premise but has not drawn the conclusion.

    No facts about the war, the tax, or any policy are supplied, and the argument does not wait for them. When a writer skips the background, he is telling you he expects an audience that already has it.

  7. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about quantitative evidence.

    (1) In 1876 the United States Bureau of Education published a survey of public libraries. (2) It counted 3,682 libraries holding 12,276,964 volumes. (3) The report was important. (4) The Bureau counted only libraries of 300 volumes and upwards that answered its circular. (5) Melvil Dewey helped found the American Library Association in Philadelphia that same year.

    The writer wants to replace sentence 3 with a sentence that states a defensible claim about the survey. Which version of sentence 3 best accomplishes this goal?

    “Thorough” and “impressive” are reactions, not claims; there is nothing here a reader could deny and nothing the rest of the paragraph could prove. Swapping one evaluative adjective for another leaves Row A exactly where it was.

    Correct. It is arguable, someone could answer that the threshold was a practical necessity with no effect on the picture, it is specific to this survey, and sentence 4 is already sitting there as its evidence. A thesis that names a choice and its consequence is what a data paragraph needs.

    This is a verifiable fact, which makes it usable evidence and unusable as a thesis. Ask what someone could say back; if the honest answer is “nothing,” you have written a fact.

    Announcing that statistics will be analyzed promises a procedure and commits to no finding. The repair is to state the conclusion the analysis would have reached and let the paragraph defend it.

  8. The writer is considering deleting sentence 5 from the draft above. Should the writer make this change?

    Correct. Sentences 1, 2, and 4 all concern one question, what the Bureau counted and under what definition, and sentence 5 answers a different one. The deletion test is whether the argument loses anything, and here it loses nothing.

    That is an invented rule rather than a reason. New names belong in a paragraph whenever they do work in it; the trouble with this one is that it does none.

    A librarian's activities in the same year say nothing about whether a mailed circular was answered accurately. Treating an association between two facts as support for one of them is a real reasoning error, not a careless one.

    “An eventful year” is not a claim the paragraph makes, and even if it were, a second event in 1876 would not help prove anything about the Bureau's threshold. Relevance is measured against the claim, not against the date.

  9. In the draft above, the writer wants to add a sentence after sentence 4 that shows what the Bureau's threshold leaves out of the count. Which of the following, if added after sentence 4, best accomplishes this goal?

    This is drawn from the same table and is perfectly true, but it describes who ranked highest among the libraries that were counted. A true statement about the data is not evidence for a claim about what the data omits.

    “Certainly thousands” asserts a number the writer cannot know and that the source cannot supply: the whole difficulty is that uncounted libraries went uncounted. Evidence that overstates what a source can support weakens a paragraph rather than strengthening it.

    This explains the Bureau's method and even sounds like diligence, which makes it the most tempting wrong answer. Method describes how the count was gathered; the goal asks what the definition excluded.

    Correct. It names two specific kinds of collection that the two stated conditions (three hundred volumes, and a returned circular) would drop, so a reader can see the gap rather than being told there is one. Concrete instances of an omission are the evidence this claim needs.

  10. In the draft above, the writer wants sentence 4 to read as a limit on the figures given in sentence 2. Which of the following is the best way to begin sentence 4?

    “Therefore” says the threshold follows from the totals, when the totals in fact follow from the threshold. Reversing cause and effect with a transition is a small word with a large cost.

    Correct. It names the relationship the goal asks for, the definition restricts what the figure covers, and it puts the limit in front of the reader before the explanation arrives. A transition is a logic marker, and here the logic is qualification.

    “Similarly” promises another instance of the same kind of information, and sentence 4 does the opposite: it takes something back from sentence 2. A reader who follows the signpost will misread the paragraph's turn.

    The counting rule is not an example of the totals; it is the condition that produced them. Reserve “for example” for a specific case of a general statement, or it will promise a reader something the next sentence cannot deliver.

Lesson 4.1 · Unit 4 · CED skill 2.A

Introductions: exigence, stake, and a position worth arguing

An introduction has about a hundred words to do three things: make the reader feel a problem, show whom it costs, and commit to a position. “Throughout history, poverty has been an issue” does none of them. Four openings do the work reliably (a scene, a definition, a concession, an arresting claim), and which one fits is a question about the audience.

Key moves
  • Exigence on the page: the reader feels the problem before he is offered a position.
  • Stake: who is affected, and what it costs them.
  • Position: a defensible thesis a reader could answer back, previewing a line of reasoning the essay will follow.
  • The four openings: scene, definition, concession, arresting claim; each asks a different first concession.
  • Skill 2.A in plain words: “appropriate to purpose and context” means fitted to this audience on this occasion.
Passage

Source: Jonathan Swift, “A Modest Proposal,” Dublin, 1729. Opening paragraphs.

It is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great town, or travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and cabin doors crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, four, or six children, all in rags and importuning every passenger for an alms. … whoever could find out a fair, cheap and easy method of making these children sound and useful members of the commonwealth …

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, in the pamphlet's fiction a public-spirited projector; in fact Swift, Dean of St Patrick's in Dublin, writing anonymously. Occasion, years of failed harvests and a pamphlet market full of earnest schemes for making the Irish poor profitable. Audience, the English and Anglo-Irish readers who bought those schemes. Purpose is the hinge: Swift needs that reader to agree with the tone long enough to be caught by the proposal.

Exam tip: an introduction is a rhetorical choice like any other. Ask what it asks the audience to accept before the argument starts.

Model analysis

Swift's opening gives a street and no remedy, and the delay is the argument. The reader is installed as a spectator, one of “those who walk through this great town”, so the problem arrives as something witnessed, not charged to him. Then the projector's vocabulary takes over: a “fair, cheap and easy method” of making children “useful members of the commonwealth” is the diction of improvement pamphlets this audience already trusted. Long before any proposal lands, the reader has accepted a frame in which a child is an input.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Swift's decision to open as a sympathetic observer rather than as an advocate. Quote no more than six words, and explain how that opening prepares this audience.

Show a model paragraph

Swift's narrator opens by feeling exactly the right things, which is what makes him dangerous. The scene is “a melancholy object,” handed to people who merely “walk through this great town”: an audience with correct sympathies and no stake. That builds a speaker indistinguishable from his reader, so the search for a “fair, cheap and easy method” sounds like the reader's own decency wanting an outlet. An opening that announced its anger would have let that reader disown it.

Why it scores: one choice, a short quotation, and commentary on how it positions this audience, the “how” Row B rewards.

Lesson 4.2 · Unit 4 · CED skill 2.A

Conclusions: the last move of the argument, not a summary

A conclusion is the last argumentative move, not a receipt for the ones already made. A reader who has just followed the essay does not need it repeated; he needs to know what follows if it is right. Three moves do that work: widen the frame, name the implication, return to the image the introduction opened with.

Key moves
  • Widen the frame: move from the case you argued to the class it belongs to.
  • Name the implication: what changes if the argument holds; what a reader should stop assuming.
  • Return to the opening: reuse the first image with the meaning the essay gave it.
  • Do not restate: summarizing your own paragraphs adds no evidence and no reasoning.
  • Where Row C lives: sophistication is often a qualification or a wider significance placed here, earned rather than announced.
Passage

Source: Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854, from the chapter “Conclusion.”

I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. … If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. … Only that day dawns to which we are awake. … The sun is but a morning star.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a Concord surveyor and writer who had lived two years beside the pond and then spent seven revising the book. Occasion, the closing chapter, written years after he had left. Audience, the neighbors addressed in the first chapter: townsmen with farms and mortgages. Subject, how a life is spent. Purpose governs the ending: not to recruit anyone to a cabin, but to make the reader's own arrangements look like a choice.

Exam tip: a conclusion that only restates the thesis leaves Row C on the table. Name what follows if you are right.

Model analysis

Thoreau's ending changes person, and that is the whole maneuver. The experiment belongs to “I,” but the finding is handed over in the third person and the conditional, “if one advances confidently”, so two years of one man's accounts become a rule any reader can test. Demoting the sun to “but a morning star” finishes the transfer. If the day has not begun, nothing in the reader's life is settled yet, and the pond becomes an early instance rather than a model to copy.

Write it

Write one paragraph claiming something about how Thoreau's conclusion widens the frame instead of summarizing. Quote no more than six words, and explain what the move asks of a reader who stays in town.

Show a model paragraph

Thoreau closes by discarding the evidence he spent a book collecting. The pond, the bean field and the ledger of expenses vanish, and what remains is a law stated conditionally: a man who “advances confidently” meets a success he had not counted on. The drummer sentence then makes nonconformity a matter of hearing rather than of doctrine, so a reader who keeps his mortgage is not excluded from the argument. The ending trades proof for permission.

Why it scores: it treats the ending as a choice, quotes short, and explains what the widened frame does to this audience.

Lesson 4.3 · Unit 4 · CED skills 5.C and 6.C

Methods of development I: when a story is an argument

A method of development is the shape a writer gives a passage: narration, description, definition, comparison, cause and effect, exemplification. The shape is itself an argument, because it decides what will count as a reason. Narration argues by sequence: this, then this, therefore. Description argues by selection: every detail printed is one chosen over the ones left out.

Key moves
  • Method of development: the pattern organizing a passage; the exam asks what it accomplishes, not what it is called.
  • Narration: events in order; the claim lives in what the order implies.
  • Description: concrete detail, and every detail is a selection.
  • Anecdote as evidence: one story proves a possibility, not a frequency.
  • Skills 5.C and 6.C: explain the development a writer chose, then choose one yourself for a reason you can name.
Passage

Source: Frederick Douglass, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave, Boston, 1845, chapter VII.

The plan which I adopted, and the one by which I was most successful, was that of making friends of all the little white boys whom I met in the street. As many of these as I could, I converted into teachers. … It had given me a view of my wretched condition, without the remedy. It opened my eyes to the horrible pit, but to no ladder upon which to get out.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a man of twenty-seven, seven years out of slavery and lecturing for the Massachusetts Anti-Slavery Society, where audiences had begun doubting he had ever been enslaved. Occasion, a book published in Boston in 1845, whose named places exposed him to recapture. Audience, Northern white readers. Purpose governs the method: to convict a system, with his own childhood as the evidence.

Exam tip: when a question asks what a narrative paragraph accomplishes, answer with the claim the sequence makes, not “the author tells a story about his childhood.”

Model analysis

Douglass narrates tactics rather than suffering, and that selection sets the terms of the argument. Saying he “converted into teachers” the boys he met borrows the language of trade and of the pulpit for an exchange between children, so literacy arrives as something obtained by strategy against an institution built to prevent it. No punishment appears in these sentences, only a boy managing adults. A reader who came prepared to pity is handed competence instead, and the pit-and-ladder image at the end refuses the rescue the story seemed to be arranging.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about the detail Douglass selects, the boys in the street, rather than about what happened to him. Quote no more than six words, and explain how the selection argues.

Show a model paragraph

Douglass builds the case out of an economy rather than an outrage. Making friends of “the little white boys” he met in the street sets the lessons among children too young to have learned what they must not hand over, which places the prohibition in adults and in law rather than in anything natural. The closing image withholds the ending the sequence promised: reading opens his eyes to “the horrible pit” and supplies “no ladder.” Selection has turned a childhood into an indictment.

Why it earns the point: a claim about what the narration selects, a short quotation, and commentary on how the choice argues.

Lesson 4.4 · Unit 4 · CED skills 5.C and 6.C

Methods of development II: definition and division

Some arguments are settled before the evidence arrives, in the sentence that says what a word will mean here. A writer who gets to define “freedom,” “scholar,” or “success” has set the standard everything after it is measured against. Division works from the other end: cut a whole into parts and you decide which part the reader has to answer for.

Key moves
  • Definition as development: a stretch of text whose work is fixing a term's meaning.
  • Stipulative definition: “by X I mean …”: the writer sets the sense rather than reporting it. That is a claim, and it owes a defense.
  • Negative definition: naming what the thing is not; the rejected version is usually someone in the room.
  • Division: cutting a whole into parts, then arguing about one. The cut is itself arguable.
  • The test: ask who the definition disqualifies.
Passage

Source: Ralph Waldo Emerson, “The American Scholar,” an address to the Phi Beta Kappa Society, Cambridge, Massachusetts, August 31, 1837.

Man is not a farmer, or a professor, or an engineer, but he is all. Man is priest, and scholar, and statesman, and producer, and soldier. … In this distribution of functions the scholar is the delegated intellect. In the right state he is Man Thinking. In the degenerate state, when the victim of society, he tends to become a mere thinker, or, still worse, the parrot of other men's thinking.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a former minister of thirty-four who had left the pulpit for the lecture circuit. Occasion, the annual Phi Beta Kappa oration at Harvard: a ceremonial hour that normally flattered its listeners. Audience, the graduates, professors and clergy who were themselves the American learned class. Purpose controls the passage: Emerson wants that class to stop administering European learning, so he takes the word “scholar” away from them before handing it back on new terms.

Exam tip: when a passage stops to define a term, that is a method of development. Say what the definition rules out.

Model analysis

Emerson divides before he defines, and the division makes the definition bind. Cutting society into functions (priest, scholar, statesman, producer, soldier) makes “scholar” a job the whole owes itself, not a rank a man holds. The definition lands only then: “he is Man Thinking” puts a participle where the audience expected a noun. A noun can be conferred by a college; a participle has to be performed again every morning. The degenerate form arrives in the same breath, so a listener who hears himself in “the parrot of other men's thinking” has only his own name to file the charge under.

Write it

Write one body paragraph making a claim about Emerson's decision to define the scholar by an activity rather than by a position. Quote no more than six words, and explain how that definition works on an audience whose standing came from their degrees.

Show a model paragraph

Emerson's definition is a demotion wearing the clothes of a compliment. The scholar is “the delegated intellect,” which sounds like an honor until you notice that a delegate serves at someone else's pleasure. For men whose authority rested on a degree already earned, an office defined as something done rather than something held converts a permanent credential into a daily test. The negative half then does the enforcing: making mere transmission the failure mode turns the ordinary courtesies of their profession, quoting and deferring, into evidence against them.

Why it scores: one choice, a short quotation, and commentary explaining how the choice acts on this particular audience, the “how” Row B rewards.

Lesson 4.5 · Unit 4 · CED skills 5.C and 6.C

Methods of development III: comparison, analogy, and exemplification

An analogy is an argument in the shape of a picture. Say that a river is a book and you have not described anything; you have asked your reader to import everything true of books (authors, readers, literacy, mastery), and apply it to water. That import is the claim. The question a reader should always ask is which parts came across, and which quietly did not.

Key moves
  • Comparison and contrast: two things set side by side so a quality of one becomes visible in the other.
  • Analogy: a comparison carrying an inference: because A works this way, B does too.
  • What it proves: nothing, strictly. An analogy transfers an attitude; it cannot establish a fact.
  • Disanalogy: the point where the mapping fails. Naming it is the strongest move against a comparison.
  • Exemplification: proof by cases, one developed at length or several stacked. The test is whether the case is typical.
Passage

Source: Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi, 1883, chapter 9, recalling his training as a cub pilot before the war.

The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book — a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. … But I had lost something, too. I had lost something which could never be restored to me while I lived.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a famous author of forty-seven looking back on the boy he was in the late 1850s. Occasion, a book built out of magazine sketches about a steamboat trade the war had already ended. Audience, Eastern readers who had never worked a river and were reading for charm. Subject and purpose pull apart here: the subject is piloting, but the purpose is to argue that expertise is bought at a price, and the comparison is what lets him name the price.

Exam tip: “the author uses an analogy” earns nothing. Say what the comparison lets the writer assume without proving.

Model analysis

The book is not decoration; it is the premise Twain's conclusion needs. A river is merely there, but a book is made by someone with something to say, so calling the water “a wonderful book” installs an author, an intention and a message where none existed. That fiction buys him two things at once. It splits the deck into readers and “the uneducated passenger,” which makes skill a form of literacy rather than a knack; and because only a text can be mastered, the loss he reports at the end reads as the price of literacy rather than as a middle-aged man's nostalgia.

Write it

Write one body paragraph making a claim about Twain's comparison of the river to a book. Quote no more than six words, and name one point where the comparison stops holding and what that costs his argument.

Show a model paragraph

Twain's analogy works by hiding the one thing rivers do not have: an intention. The water “told its mind” to him, a phrase that grants the Mississippi something to say and a decision to say it, which turns a pilot's reading of a ripple into an act of understanding rather than pattern recognition. The mapping breaks there. A book keeps its meaning when you close it, while the river's marks mean only what the next mile of current makes them mean, so the mastery he claims is more perishable than the comparison admits.

Why it scores: a claim about one choice, a short quotation, and commentary that tests the comparison instead of praising it.

Lesson 4.6 · Unit 4 · CED skills 5.C and 6.C

Methods of development IV: cause and effect, problem and solution

Naming a cause looks like reporting and is actually claiming. “Wages fell because immigration rose” is not an observation; it is an argument with at least three rival explanations standing behind it. The problem–solution shape has the same hidden edge: whoever gets to describe the problem has already narrowed the set of remedies that will sound reasonable.

Key moves
  • Cause and effect as development: a passage built as a chain: this, therefore that, therefore the thing you should care about.
  • Contributing vs. sufficient cause: “helped produce” is defensible; “caused” usually is not.
  • Post hoc: sequence offered as causation. Ask what else changed.
  • Problem–solution: establish scale, name a cause, propose a remedy sized to it.
  • Concession as structure: granting the other side's premise is not politeness; it buys the right to restrict it in the next sentence.
Passage

Source: Theodore Roosevelt, “The Man with the Muck-Rake,” at the laying of the cornerstone of the House of Representatives office building, Washington, D.C., April 14, 1906.

There is filth on the floor, and it must be scraped up with the muck-rake; and there are times and places where this service is the most needed of all the services that can be performed. But the man who never does anything else … speedily becomes, not a help to society, not an incitement to good, but one of the most potent forces for evil.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a sitting president in his second term who had built his name prosecuting trusts. Occasion, a cornerstone ceremony weeks after magazine exposés began aiming at the Senate rather than at business. Audience, Congress, the editors of those magazines, and the readers who bought them. Purpose is the hinge: Roosevelt needs to keep the reform energy and disown the reporters, so he borrows Bunyan's figure of a man who rakes muck and will not look up.

Exam tip: when a writer concedes, ask what the concession buys. It is almost always permission to make a harder claim in the next sentence.

Model analysis

Roosevelt's concession is load-bearing. Granting outright that “there is filth on the floor,” and that raking it can be the most needed service of all, spends a whole sentence agreeing with the people he is about to attack, and it forecloses the only cheap reply available to them, that the president is protecting the corrupt. The cause he then names is not what the journalists print but how much of it they print: “the man who never does anything else.” Relocating the harm from the facts to the proportion makes the charge unanswerable by more evidence, which is precisely what his opponents had.

Write it

Write one body paragraph claiming something about Roosevelt's decision to deliver the effect as a run of negatives before he names it. Quote no more than six words, and explain how that arrangement serves a president who agrees with the reformers.

Show a model paragraph

Roosevelt saves the verdict for last and walks the reader down to it. The journalist is first denied a positive role, “not a help to society,” then denied a lesser one, and only at the end assigned the opposite one. Ranking him by degrees rather than declaring him corrupt lets a president who shares his aims keep the aims and discard the man. The sentence ends where an indictment would, but nothing in it convicts him of a fact: only of doing one true thing too much.

Why it scores: one choice, a short quotation, and commentary on what the arrangement does for this speaker's position rather than on what the sentence says.

Unit 4 review · 10 multiple-choice

Unit 4 review: introductions, conclusions, and methods of development

Six reading questions on one passage from Emerson and four revision questions on short student drafts: click an option to see why it is right or wrong, and read every rationale, not just the one for your answer.

Multiple choice

  1. Source: Ralph Waldo Emerson, “The American Scholar,” an address to the Phi Beta Kappa Society, Cambridge, Massachusetts, August 31, 1837.

    Books are the best of things, well used; abused, among the worst. What is the right use? What is the one end which all means go to effect? They are for nothing but to inspire. I had better never see a book than to be warped by its attraction clean out of my own orbit, and made a satellite instead of a system. The one thing in the world, of value, is the active soul.

    Which of the following best describes the rhetorical situation of the passage?

    Emerson had left the pulpit five years before this address, and nothing in the source line or the passage indicates a congregation or a request; inventing an occasion the headnote does not support is the most common way to miss a rhetorical-situation item.

    The prose is addressed outward, the questions are asked of listeners and answered for them, and the source line names a society, a place, and a date, all marks of a public occasion rather than a private one.

    Correct. The headnote gives a Phi Beta Kappa address at Harvard, an annual ceremony that normally flattered the learned men in the room, and the passage tells exactly those men that a book can turn a reader into a satellite. Occasion and audience are in tension, which is what makes the concession in the first sentence necessary.

    Emerson is not selling anything and his audience has not decided against books; his problem is the opposite one, an audience that values books so highly it may not hear a warning about them.

  2. In the passage above, which of the following best states Emerson's central claim?

    Correct. “They are for nothing but to inspire” fixes the standard, and the satellite sentence names the failure that standard defines: a reader pulled out of his own orbit. Both halves of the first sentence (best used, worst abused) turn on that one criterion.

    This takes half of a conditional and drops the condition. Emerson writes “abused, among the worst,” not “the worst”; the concession that books are also “the best of things, well used” is what keeps the claim defensible.

    This reverses the order Emerson argues for. He puts the active soul first and books second, in a service role, which is why he can say he would rather never see one than be warped by it.

    Authorship never comes up. Emerson locates value in what happens to the reader, which is precisely how he can rank a book the whole audience admires below a reader's own thinking.

  3. In the passage above, the two questions, “What is the right use? What is the one end which all means go to effect?”, primarily serve to

    A rhetorical question is asked by a writer who already has the answer; Emerson supplies his in the very next sentence. Reading these as genuine uncertainty is the standard misstep on function questions.

    Correct. The first sentence leaves the audience with a verdict that could go either way, and the questions convert that stalemate into a question of purpose: a question Emerson answers in six words. Changing the question is how he wins it.

    Nothing is left open for the audience. The answer arrives immediately and without qualification, which is the opposite of the pause an invitation would require.

    The concession is real, but it is in the first sentence, not in the questions. Assigning a passage's work to the wrong sentence is a reliable way to lose a function item.

  4. In the passage above, which of the following best describes the line of reasoning?

    The order runs the other way: the principle, “the one thing in the world, of value, is the active soul”, arrives at the end, and nothing after it qualifies anything.

    There is no narrative here. No event is recounted and no sequence of happenings carries the argument, so narration cannot be the method of development.

    Emerson does define the right use of a book, but he never divides books into kinds and never judges the parts separately; division belongs to other passages in the same address, not this one.

    Correct. Track the sentences: concession, two questions, a one-sentence answer, the deliberately extreme “I had better never see a book,” and then the principle. Saving the principle for last is what makes the extreme case read as proof rather than as exaggeration.

  5. In the passage above, the comparison of the dependent reader to “a satellite instead of a system” primarily

    Even if true, a writer's command of a field is not the effect of a comparison on an argument. An answer that describes the author rather than the argument is a true statement that does not answer the question asked.

    The comparison is about the reader, not the book: it is the reader who is warped out of orbit. Assigning the figure to the wrong term is the quickest way to misread an analogy item.

    Correct. A system has its own center and holds other bodies in place; a satellite has neither. The figure converts what sounds like a matter of degree, reading too much of one author, into a difference of kind, which is exactly the severity Emerson's claim needs.

    Motion is not the point of comparison, and a satellite in this figure moves only because something else holds it. The option mistakes a device correctly named for an effect it does not have.

  6. In the passage above, Emerson's decision to open by granting that books are “the best of things, well used” most clearly shows an understanding of an audience that

    Correct. Graduates, professors, and clergy hold their positions because of books, so a flat attack would have been dismissed before the argument began. Granting the case for books first buys Emerson the right to describe how they fail.

    The concession would be pointless for such an audience; you do not defend books to people who need convincing that reading is worthwhile. The whole move depends on the audience already agreeing.

    Emerson does criticize them, and hard, so he plainly does not believe criticism is impossible here. The concession buys a hearing for the criticism; it does not replace it.

    The source line names the Phi Beta Kappa Society, a scholarly body. Substituting a commercial motive for the scholarly one changes the audience the passage was actually built for.

  7. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Jonathan Swift.

    (1) Jonathan Swift published “A Modest Proposal” anonymously in Dublin in 1729. (2) The pamphlet opens in the voice of a calm, public-spirited planner who is troubled by the beggars he passes in the streets. (3) That calm is the whole trick of the introduction. (4) Readers who had agreed with the opening tone found themselves still agreeing when the proposal arrived. (5) Swift never steps forward to tell them so.

    The writer wants to add a sentence after sentence 3 that supports the claim sentence 3 makes, using specific evidence from the pamphlet. Which of the following best accomplishes this goal?

    The sentence is true and even relevant to Swift, but biography is not evidence about the pamphlet's tone; a revision question asks what the stated goal requires, and this supplies a fact about the author instead.

    A definition of satire explains a category rather than this text. Evidence must come from the work under discussion, or the claim in sentence 3 is left exactly where it was.

    This repeats sentence 3 in different words. Restatement adds length and no support, and on the exam a revision that only rephrases the claim never accomplishes an add-evidence goal.

    Correct. It points to specific features of the text (the head counts, the weights, the borrowed vocabulary of an improvement scheme), and those details are what make the calm demonstrable rather than asserted.

  8. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about the ending of Walden.

    (1) Thoreau went to Walden Pond on July 4, 1845, and stayed a little over two years. (2) The book he built out of those years was not published until 1854. (3) Its final chapter drops the ledger of expenses that had filled the opening pages. (4) Furthermore, it states the finding in the third person and in the conditional, so that a rule replaces a record. (5) The pond becomes an instance rather than a model to copy.

    The writer wants the opening of sentence 4 to name the relationship the sentences actually have. Which version of the opening of sentence 4 best accomplishes this goal?

    “However” promises a reversal, and sentence 4 reverses nothing in sentence 3: it continues the same observation. A connective that promises the wrong relationship reads to a grader as broken reasoning, not as style.

    Correct. Sentence 3 says what the chapter drops and sentence 4 says what fills the space, so the relationship is substitution. “In its place” names that and lets the reader see the exchange the paragraph is describing.

    “For example” promises that what follows is an instance of what came before, but stating a finding conditionally is not an example of dropping a ledger. The two sentences report two different moves.

    “Therefore” claims that the second sentence follows logically from the first. Dropping the accounts does not cause the shift into the conditional; both are choices Thoreau made, and neither produces the other.

  9. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Frederick Douglass.

    (1) In chapter VII of his 1845 Narrative, Douglass explains how he went on learning to read after his mistress was forbidden to teach him. (2) He describes making friends of the white boys he met in the street and converting them into teachers. (3) The paragraph reports tactics rather than suffering. (4) Douglass later founded an antislavery newspaper in Rochester, New York. (5) Because the sequence shows a boy managing adults, a reader who came prepared to pity is handed competence instead.

    The writer is considering deleting sentence 4. Should the writer make this change?

    Correct. Unity is the test: every sentence must serve the one claim, and the claim here is about the selection of detail in chapter VII. A fact from thirty years later belongs to a different paragraph, however true it is.

    The sentence is accurate, Douglass founded an antislavery paper in Rochester in 1847, so this answer deletes for the wrong reason. Deletion questions turn on relevance to the claim, not on truth.

    Credibility would matter if the paragraph were arguing about Douglass's reliability. It is arguing about how one chapter is built, and nothing about his later work makes that account more persuasive.

    Completeness of a life story is not the standard; the standard is whether the sentence extends this paragraph's claim. Adding biography to satisfy a rule the paragraph never set is how drafts lose unity.

  10. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Theodore Roosevelt's “The Man with the Muck-Rake.”

    (1) On April 14, 1906, Theodore Roosevelt borrowed a figure from Bunyan and named the reporter who rakes muck and will not look up. (2) He granted that the filth was real. (3) He granted that raking it was sometimes the most needed service of all. (4) Then he located the harm not in what the journalists printed but in how much of it they printed. (5) So stated, the charge could not be answered with more evidence.

    The writer wants to combine sentences 2 and 3 so that the two concessions land as a single move and the pivot in sentence 4 gains force. Which of the following versions best accomplishes this goal?

    Joining the two clauses with “and” keeps the repeated “he granted” and adds no emphasis; it is a combination in grammar only, and the pivot in sentence 4 arrives exactly as it did before.

    Dropping “he granted” turns Roosevelt's concessions into the student's own assertions. Losing the attribution costs the paragraph its point, since the whole claim is that Roosevelt chose to concede.

    Correct. Naming the concession as total, everything the other side could have asked, makes the two clauses one move and measures how much ground Roosevelt gives, which is what makes the reversal in sentence 4 land.

    “Although” invents a contrast between two statements that agree. Roosevelt concedes both points on the same side of the argument, so subordinating one to the other misdescribes the reasoning.

Lesson 5.1 · Unit 5 · CED skill 6.A

Commentary: what it is, and what keeps getting mistaken for it

Most paragraphs that lose Row B points are not short of evidence. They are short one sentence: the one after the quotation. Or that slot holds the quotation again in other words. Restating is not commentary. Explaining what a passage means is closer, and still not commentary. Commentary explains how the evidence you just gave makes your claim more likely to be true.

Key moves
  • Restatement: the evidence paraphrased; nothing disputable, nothing proved.
  • Explanation: what the evidence means. That is the “what,” not the “how.”
  • Commentary: the link: why this evidence, for this audience, makes this claim hold.
  • Verbs that work: concedes, reframes, shifts the burden, narrows the claim. Not shows, uses, conveys.
  • The ratio: commentary runs longer than the evidence it explains.
  • The test: cut every sentence that only reports; a paragraph should remain.
Passage

Description of: Virginia Woolf, “Mr. Bennett and Mrs. Brown,” London, 1924. Summarized, not quoted.

Woolf's essay, grown from a lecture to Cambridge undergraduates, argues that the leading Edwardian novelists: Arnold Bennett, H. G. Wells, John Galsworthy: cannot render a human being. To prove it she invents one: an elderly woman she calls Mrs. Brown, glimpsed in a railway carriage. Each novelist, she says, would give us the carriage, the rent, the town, the condition of England, and never the woman. Her own generation must build new tools and expect to fail for a while.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a novelist of forty-two whose own experiments were still unproven, attacking the most commercially successful writers in England. Occasion, a lecture printed the next year by her own press. Audience, young readers raised on the books she is dismissing. Purpose is the thing to hold: she is not reviewing three novelists, she is asking readers to tolerate the roughness of whatever replaces them.

Exam tip: Row B reaches 4 only when the commentary explains how a choice works, not that the writer made it. “Woolf uses an example” reports; “the example hands the test to the reader” explains.

Model analysis

Woolf argues by staging rather than by quoting, and the substitution is the argument. Had she set passages from Bennett beside passages of her own, readers would have been judging two styles, and in 1924 most would have preferred his. An invented passenger cannot be answered that way. The audience is handed a woman in a railway carriage and watches three novelists walk past her, so the failure is performed rather than reported, and it arrives before any replacement has to be produced.

Write it

Write one paragraph claiming something about Woolf's decision to argue through an invented passenger rather than through passages by the novelists she names. Then cut every sentence of your draft that only reports what Woolf says.

Show a model paragraph

Woolf's invented passenger lets her win an argument she could not have won on evidence. The novelists she attacks were the ones her audience admired, and any passage she chose could have been answered with a better one. Mrs. Brown cannot be answered, because she sits in nobody's book; she exists only as an assignment, and each novelist is measured by what he fails to do with her. The audience runs that test itself, so the verdict feels earned rather than announced.

Why it scores: one choice, no retelling, and commentary on how that choice works for this audience.

Lesson 5.2 · Unit 5 · CED skill 6.A

Commentary that explains how a choice advances a purpose

There is a sentence shape under every strong rhetorical-analysis paragraph: by doing X, the writer does Y, which serves purpose Z. X is a choice you can point to. Y is what the choice does to the argument. Z is the effect wanted from this audience. The pattern is not a formula to copy into your essay; it is a check that your commentary reached the end.

Key moves
  • X is a choice: an order, an omission, a comparison, a shift in address.
  • Y is an effect on the argument: what the choice does to the claim or the reader's options.
  • Z is the purpose: the effect wanted from this audience, a verb with an object.
  • The dead end: “makes the reader feel.” Unfalsifiable, and it stops before Z.
  • Devices in passing: the term labels the choice; naming it is not the analysis.
Passage

Source: G. K. Chesterton, “The Fallacy of Success,” All Things Considered, London, 1908.

There has appeared in our time a particular class of books and articles which I sincerely and solemnly think may be called the silliest ever known among men. … But these things are about nothing; they are about what is called Success. On every bookstall, in every magazine, you may find works telling people how to succeed. They are books showing men how to succeed in everything; they are written by men who cannot even succeed in writing books.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a journalist of thirty-four known for weekly newspaper columns and for arguing in paradoxes. Occasion, a collection of those columns published in 1908. Audience, ordinary newspaper readers: the same people buying the manuals on the bookstalls he describes. Purpose is the lever: to show the genre has no subject at all, so that mockery is enough and no argument against ambition is needed.

Exam tip: a sentence that ends at Y is unfinished. “Chesterton calls the books silly” is X; “which lets him dismiss the genre without arguing against ambition” is Z.

Model analysis

Chesterton's strongest move is a measurement rather than an insult. Ranking the success books against the wildest romances and the dullest tracts, genres his readers already place low, lets him claim not that the books are bad but that they have no subject: chivalry is about chivalry, religion about religion, success about nothing. That clears the ground for the last clause, where men who cannot “succeed in writing books” arrive as proof from inside the genre. To defend the manuals a reader must first defend their authors.

Write it

Write one paragraph about Chesterton's closing sentence, the one about men “who cannot even succeed in writing books.” Use the pattern once, explicitly, and end on the purpose rather than the effect.

Show a model paragraph

By turning his own test on the authors, Chesterton converts a question of taste into a question of evidence. That the books are empty could be disputed, plenty of readers found them useful, but that men “who cannot even succeed in writing books” are selling instruction in success cannot be disputed without giving up the standard he has just applied. The case closes in the reader's own terms, which is what he needs from an audience that buys these manuals.

Why it scores: one choice, a short quotation, and a final sentence that lands on purpose rather than on effect.

Lesson 5.3 · Unit 5 · CED skills 5.B and 6.A

Unity and coherence: one idea per paragraph, and how to tell

A paragraph has unity when every sentence belongs to one claim, and coherence when a reader can see how each sentence follows the one before. Most drafts lose unity quietly. A paragraph starts on the writer's reason for choosing a passage, drifts into what the passage says, and ends somewhere else entirely. Nothing in it is wrong. It is just two paragraphs.

Key moves
  • Unity: every sentence serves one claim, the one in the topic sentence.
  • Coherence: the reader sees the link between consecutive sentences without supplying it.
  • Topic sentence: the claim, first, in your own words; the rest owes it proof.
  • The drift test: summarize each paragraph in one sentence; if you need “and,” it holds two ideas.
  • Repeated key terms: one word for one idea, cheaper than a transition.
Passage

Description of: Jane Addams, Twenty Years at Hull-House, 1910, chapter VI, “The Subjective Necessity for Social Settlements.” Summarized, not quoted.

The chapter argues that a settlement house answers a need in the people who run it as much as in the neighborhood around it. Addams describes a generation of educated young people trained for work nobody has given them anything to do with, and treats that stalled energy as a social fact rather than a private complaint. Only then does she define the settlement: an experiment in meeting the problems a large industrial city creates, problems she says belong to the whole city rather than one district.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, the best-known settlement worker in America, writing at fifty a memoir that doubled as a fundraising document. Occasion, twenty years of Hull-House, serialized in a magazine before book publication. Audience, comfortable readers who might give money and daughters who might give years. Purpose controls the order: to make a life of service look like a need rather than a sacrifice.

Exam tip: on the writing section, “Should the writer delete sentence 5?” is almost always a unity question. Ask whether the sentence extends the paragraph's one claim, not whether it is true.

Model analysis

Addams arranges the chapter so the case for the settlement never has to be made twice. Each paragraph carries one claim and stops, and the claims are laid in an order that converts a private restlessness into a public problem: young people with nothing to spend themselves on, then a society that cannot afford the waste, then an institution that fits one to the other. Opening on the settlers' own need is the risky half of that order, since it invites the charge of self-interest: but by the time the neighborhood arrives, the reader has granted that somebody must go.

Write it

Write one paragraph claiming something about Addams's decision to open with what the settlement does for its workers rather than for the neighborhood. Hold it to one idea: after your claim, no sentence may introduce a second.

Show a model paragraph

Addams puts the settlers' need first because her readers distrust charity more than they distrust ambition. A woman who founds a settlement because the poor require rescue claims a moral standing a donor can resent; one who founds it because her own training has nowhere to go names a condition many of them recognize in their daughters. The request is the same either way, but only the second version arrives as a diagnosis rather than an appeal.

Why it scores: one claim, every following sentence extending it, and commentary on what the arrangement buys with this audience.

Lesson 5.4 · Unit 5 · CED skill 6.B

Transitions: connectives that name a relationship, not decoration

A transition is a claim about the relationship between two sentences. “However” promises a reversal; “therefore” promises that the second thing follows from the first; “granted” promises something is about to be given up and then taken back. A reader believes the promise before reading the sentence, which is why a wrong connective does more damage than none at all.

Key moves
  • Transitions are logic markers: each names a relationship; pick the relationship first and the word second.
  • The repertoire: addition (also, moreover); contrast (but, yet); concession (granted, then a pivot: still); causation (because, therefore); sequence (first, then).
  • Repeated key terms: a noun carried from one sentence into the next is a quieter transition than “furthermore.”
  • Pronoun chains: “this” and “these” work only when a reader can name what they point at.
  • The promise test: cover the connective and name the relationship yourself. A mismatch means the wrong word, and a reader feels it as broken reasoning.
Passage

Source: Abraham Lincoln, address at the Cooper Institute, New York, February 27, 1860.

But you say you are conservative — eminently conservative — while we are revolutionary, destructive, or something of the sort. What is conservatism? Is it not adherence to the old and tried, against the new and untried? We stick to, contend for, the identical old policy on the point in controversy which was adopted by “our fathers who framed the Government under which we live;” while you with one accord reject, and scout, and spit upon that old policy, and insist upon substituting something new.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a one-term former congressman from Illinois, barely known to eastern Republicans. Occasion, a lecture ten weeks before the party's nominating convention, printed in full the next morning. Audience, fifteen hundred New Yorkers deciding whether a western lawyer could carry a national ticket. Subject, the founders and slavery in the territories, but purpose controls the arrangement: he is answering a charge, so the speech is built as a rebuttal.

Exam tip: transition items test the relationship, not the register. Name the relationship in your own words first, then find the option that names the same one.

Model analysis

Lincoln's connectives do the arguing. “But you say” is not a change of subject; it hands the next clause to the opposition, so Lincoln spends the paragraph answering rather than accusing. The question that follows converts a badge into a test: “adherence to the old and tried” is a definition no man who has just called himself conservative can refuse. Both “while” clauses then run that test, and because “while” marks contrast rather than sequence, the audience must hold two policies side by side and decide which is older. The charge is answered without being denied.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Lincoln's use of a question as a transition. Quote no more than six words, and name the relationship the question asks his audience to accept.

Show a model paragraph

Lincoln turns the argument over by asking a question he has already answered. “What is conservatism?” arrives where a denial would normally go, changing the business of the evening from defending Republicans to defining a word. The definition offered, “adherence to the old and tried”, is one no opponent in the hall could reject without dropping the label he had just claimed. Every “while” after it is therefore a comparison the audience has agreed to judge, and the contrast Lincoln would have had to win becomes a standard he was granted.

Why it scores: one choice, a question used as a transition, a short quotation, and commentary on the relationship that choice asks this audience to accept.

Lesson 5.5 · Unit 5 · CED skill 5.B

Organization: how the order of the parts carries the reasoning

Order is a prediction about what a reader will accept, and when. A writer facing a friendly audience can put the thesis first and spend the rest proving it. A writer facing an audience that would stop reading at the thesis has to buy the ground first, which is why so many arguments open inside the other side's case.

Key moves
  • Method of development: narration, definition, comparison, cause and effect, problem and solution, refutation: the shape the reasoning takes.
  • Delayed thesis: hold the claim until the reader has granted its premises.
  • Front-loaded concession: answering the objection first removes the reader's reason to stop.
  • Climactic order: strongest evidence last, once a reader knows how to weigh it.
  • Reverse outline: one verb per paragraph naming its job (concedes, defines, refutes, illustrates). That list is the line of reasoning.
Passage

Source: Mary Wollstonecraft, A Vindication of the Rights of Woman, London, 1792, opening of chapter II.

To account for, and excuse the tyranny of man, many ingenious arguments have been brought forward to prove, that the two sexes, in the acquirement of virtue, ought to aim at attaining a very different character: or, to speak explicitly, women are not allowed to have sufficient strength of mind to acquire what really deserves the name of virtue. Yet it should seem, allowing them to have souls, that there is but one way appointed by providence to lead mankind to either virtue or happiness.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a London writer and former schoolmistress, newly famous for a reply to Burke. Occasion, 1792, with the French Assembly debating a plan of national education that left girls out; the book is dedicated to Talleyrand, who wrote the report. Audience, the reforming men who would draft such plans. Purpose sets the order: a premise has to fall before her claim can stand.

Exam tip: a question about the organization of a passage wants the job each part performs, not the topics in sequence. “First she concedes, then she redefines” scores; “first she talks about virtue” does not.

Model analysis

Wollstonecraft puts the other side first, and the order is the argument. The chapter opens by reporting what has “been brought forward to prove”, a passive that lets the case stand with no author present to defend it, while the opening phrase files the whole tradition under a motive before one of its reasons is examined. Her own claim then enters through “Yet,” resting on a premise her readers already hold: grant women souls and one road to virtue must serve everyone. Placed first, that claim is an assertion. Placed third, it is what is left.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Wollstonecraft's decision to open chapter II with her opponents' argument instead of her own. Quote no more than six words, and explain what the order buys her with this audience.

Show a model paragraph

Wollstonecraft delays her thesis so that her readers are caught agreeing before they notice. The chapter's first job is to name the opposition's purpose, to “excuse the tyranny of man”, which turns a dispute about female virtue into a question about male convenience, and does it while she is still, formally, summarizing. Only then does “Yet it should seem” arrive, and what follows is not new evidence but a premise the reformers she addresses already hold. A reader who has conceded souls has conceded the road.

Why it scores: a claim about an organizational choice, a short quotation, and commentary explaining what the order does to this audience.

Lesson 5.6 · Unit 5 · CED skills 6.A and 6.B

Revising for reasoning: reverse-outline, cut, reorder, repair

Revising is not proofreading. You are hunting four failures a reader feels as muddled thinking: a sentence that repeats the one before it, a reason that arrives after the conclusion it was meant to earn, a connective promising a relationship the sentences never perform, and a paragraph that ends in someone else's words.

Key moves
  • Reverse-outline your own paragraph: one verb beside each sentence: claims, quotes, explains, repeats. Two sentences sharing a verb means one goes.
  • Cut the restatement: saying the evidence again reads as length and scores as nothing.
  • Cause before effect: the reason goes ahead of the result, or a reader has decided before you argue.
  • Repair the wrong-relationship transition: “however” over an addition, “therefore” over a coincidence: fix the word or fix the sentences.
  • End on your own sentence: the last line of a paragraph is commentary, not quotation.
Passage

Source: Thomas Jefferson, First Inaugural Address, Washington, March 4, 1801.

Let us, then, fellow-citizens, unite with one heart and one mind. Let us restore to social intercourse that harmony and affection without which liberty and even life itself are but dreary things. … every difference of opinion is not a difference of principle. We have called by different names brethren of the same principle. We are all Republicans, we are all Federalists. If there be any among us who would wish to dissolve this Union or to change its republican form, let them stand undisturbed as monuments of the safety with which error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a president elected after the angriest contest the young republic had held, settled in the House on the thirty-sixth ballot. Occasion, the first inauguration in the new capital and the first handover of power between parties. Audience, a Senate chamber holding the men he had just beaten. Subject, party division; purpose governs the order, since every concession is spent before the claim that needs it.

Exam tip: a revision question names the goal; “the writer wants to emphasize a contrast.” Test each option against that goal, not against which sounds best.

Model analysis

Jefferson builds the paragraph backwards from the sentence he most needs. He asks first for something that costs a defeated party nothing, “unite with one heart and one mind”, and only then concedes the point actually in dispute, that difference of opinion is not difference of principle. Because that concession is already paid, “We are all Republicans, we are all Federalists” lands as a summary of common ground rather than a winner telling losers what they are. Reversed, the same sentence is a demand. The tolerance extended afterward then costs him nothing he has not already granted.

Write it

Here is a draft: “Jefferson wants the country to calm down. However, he says we are all Republicans, we are all Federalists. This shows that he wants unity.” Rewrite it as one body paragraph that makes an arguable claim about the order of Jefferson's concessions, quotes no more than six words, cuts the repetition, and replaces the transition with one that names the real relationship.

Show a model paragraph

Jefferson pays for his boldest sentence before he says it. He opens with a request no one in the chamber could refuse, that the country “unite with one heart and one mind”, and then grants his opponents the distinction they most wanted, that a difference of opinion is not a difference of principle. Because that ground is conceded first, “We are all Republicans, we are all Federalists” arrives as a conclusion rather than an order. The sequence does the persuading: the claim comes last because it is the only sentence that had to be earned.

Why it scores: one arguable claim about an organizational choice, a causal “because” the sentences actually perform in place of “however,” no restatement, and a last line that is the writer's own commentary.

Unit 5 review · 10 multiple-choice

Unit 5 review: commentary, unity, and transitions

Six reading questions on one passage from Lincoln and four revision questions on short student drafts: answer each one before you open the rationales, then read all four to see which misreading each distractor was built from.

Multiple choice

  1. Source: Abraham Lincoln, address at the Cooper Institute, New York, February 27, 1860.

    Wrong as we think slavery is, we can yet afford to let it alone where it is, because that much is due to the necessity arising from its actual presence in the nation; but can we, while our votes will prevent it, allow it to spread into the National Territories, and to overrun us here in these Free States? … Let us have faith that right makes might, and in that faith, let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it.

    Which of the following best describes the rhetorical situation of the passage?

    In February 1860 Lincoln held no office and had not yet been nominated; the speech is an audition, not a defense. Dating a text by its fame rather than by its headnote is the most common rhetorical-situation error.

    Correct. The date sits ten weeks before the Republican convention, the place is New York, and the passage is built to show restraint, slavery let alone where it is, before it shows resolve. Audience and occasion together explain why the concession comes first.

    Nothing here is adjudicating a case or issuing a rule; the passage argues about what voters should do with their votes, which is the work of persuasion, not of judgment.

    The speech was delivered in a hall and printed over Lincoln's name the next morning, and its first move concedes ground, which no writer bothers to do for an audience that already agrees.

  2. In the passage above, which of the following best states Lincoln's claim?

    The passage says the opposite about existing slavery: “we can yet afford to let it alone where it is.” Reading a writer's private conviction as his stated claim is how a claim question gets lost.

    Popular sovereignty was the position Lincoln spent the speech opposing. The question in the passage assumes that a national vote can prevent the spread, which is precisely what popular sovereignty denies.

    The closing sentence urges the audience to “dare to do our duty,” not to split the difference; the concession earlier is a limit on the claim, not a call for compromise.

    Correct. The sentence has two halves joined by “but,” and the claim lives in the second: a concession about slavery where it exists, then a refusal about the territories, with “while our votes will prevent it” naming the urgency.

  3. In the passage above, the clause “because that much is due to the necessity arising from its actual presence in the nation” primarily serves to

    Correct. Without the “because” clause the concession would look like indifference; with it, the audience is told the concession is forced by a fact on the ground. That is how a speaker gives ground without giving up the judgment in “Wrong as we think slavery is.”

    The clause names a necessity, not a constitutional obligation, and Lincoln is careful to keep it practical. Upgrading a prudential reason into a legal one changes the argument he was willing to make.

    The clause does the reverse: it is the reason for tolerating slavery where it exists. Distractors that flip the direction of a concession are common and are caught by rereading the sentence around the quoted words.

    No figures appear anywhere in the passage. “Actual presence” is a statement that slavery exists, not a measurement of how much of it there is.

  4. In the passage above, which of the following best describes the line of reasoning?

    No term is defined and no examples are listed. Choosing a familiar shape that the passage does not have is easier to avoid if you name the job of each clause before you look at the options.

    Nothing is narrated; there are no events in sequence. The passage argues about what to do next, which is a different method of development from narration.

    Correct. Clause by clause: concede, give the reason, turn on “but,” ask the question that fixes the limit, then charge the audience to act. The order matters, because the concession is what earns a hearing for the refusal that follows.

    There is one question, and its answer is obvious from the way it is framed, then the last sentence tells the audience what to do about it. An unanswered question would leave no duty to dare.

  5. In the passage above, Lincoln's decision to put the second half of the first sentence as a question rather than as a statement primarily

    The closing sentence rules this out: a speaker who charges an audience to “dare to do our duty” has decided. The form is a rhetorical question, and rhetorical questions are asked by people who know the answer.

    Correct. A statement would have given the audience something to accept or refuse; a question makes them complete the argument, and a listener who has just answered “no” for himself is harder to talk back out of it.

    Naming the territories and the free states as things slavery would “overrun” is not softening. The concession earlier in the sentence does the reassuring; the question does the pressing.

    The question is the argument, not a delay before it. An answer that treats a choice as merely postponing something is worth suspecting, since every sentence in a speech has to earn its place.

  6. In the passage above, the phrase “while our votes will prevent it” most clearly shows an understanding of an audience that

    Force is nowhere in the passage, and the sentence offers voting as the remedy rather than arguing against violence. An answer has to be built from what the words assume, not from what the era contained.

    The phrase says the opposite: these listeners have votes, and the whole appeal depends on it. A passage aimed at the powerless would not make the ballot the hinge of the sentence.

    The audience is a hall of New York Republicans. Reassurance is offered about slavery where it already exists, but it is offered to voters who think slavery wrong, not to the people who hold enslaved people.

    Correct. “Our votes” names the audience's own instrument and “while” puts a clock on it, so the appeal is not only that they are right but that they are in a position to act and will not be forever.

  7. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Virginia Woolf.

    (1) In 1924 Virginia Woolf published “Mr. Bennett and Mrs. Brown,” an essay grown out of a lecture. (2) In it she invents an elderly woman she calls Mrs. Brown, glimpsed in a railway carriage. (3) Woolf says something about three famous novelists of the previous generation. (4) Each of them, she argues, would give us the carriage, the rent, and the condition of England, and never the woman herself. (5) The reader watches all three walk past her.

    The writer wants sentence 3 to state a claim that the rest of the paragraph can be used to prove. Which version of sentence 3 best accomplishes this goal?

    A preference is not a defensible claim, and this one is about Woolf's feelings rather than about her argument. It also cannot be proved by sentences 4 and 5, which describe what her method shows.

    This announces a topic rather than making a claim. Nobody could disagree with it, and a sentence nobody can disagree with gives the rest of the paragraph nothing to support.

    Correct. It is arguable, it names the choice the paragraph goes on to describe, the invented passenger, and sentences 4 and 5 are exactly the proof it needs. A claim a paragraph can prove is a claim written to fit the evidence already on the page.

    The popularity of the novelists is a fact, and a relevant one, but a fact is not arguable. Notice too that the paragraph never returns to it, which is the quickest test of a topic sentence.

  8. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about G. K. Chesterton.

    (1) In “The Fallacy of Success,” published in 1908, Chesterton attacks a whole shelf of popular books. (2) Chivalry is about chivalry. (3) Religion is about religion. (4) The success manuals, he says, are about nothing at all. (5) The charge is not that the books are bad but that they have no subject.

    The writer wants to combine sentences 2, 3, and 4 so that the parallel structure carries the argument and the last item lands hardest. Which of the following versions best accomplishes this goal?

    The added clause about sales breaks the pattern right before the payoff and buries the third item in a subordinate structure. A combination that interrupts the parallel at the last term defeats the stated goal.

    This contradicts sentences 4 and 5, which say the success books have no subject at all. A revision must be accurate to the paragraph as well as well-formed.

    Correct. The three clauses take one shape, so the reader hears the pattern and expects the third to complete it, and “about nothing at all” breaks the expectation the first two set. The parallel is what makes the last item hit.

    Subordinating the first two items with “although” demotes exactly the material whose repetition creates the effect. Coordination equalizes and subordination ranks, and here the argument needs the items to be equal.

  9. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Jane Addams.

    (1) Jane Addams and Ellen Gates Starr opened Hull-House on Chicago's Near West Side in 1889. (2) In the chapter of her 1910 memoir on the subjective necessity for social settlements, Addams argues that a settlement answers a need in the people who run it. (3) She puts the settlers' own restlessness first and the neighborhood second. (4) That order is a concession to readers who distrust charity. (5) By the time the neighborhood arrives, the reader has already granted that somebody must go.

    The writer wants to add a sentence after sentence 3 that supports sentence 3 with specific evidence from the chapter. Which of the following best accomplishes this goal?

    The list is accurate and interesting, but it describes the institution rather than the chapter's arrangement, and the claim in sentence 3 is about arrangement. Relevant subject matter is not the same as relevant evidence.

    This asserts the claim again and calls it obvious. “As any reader can see” is a sign that a sentence is repeating rather than proving.

    Reputation is a fact about Addams's career, not support for a claim about how one chapter is built. Watch for options that make a writer more impressive instead of making the claim more likely.

    Correct. It shows what actually stands in the chapter's opening position and characterizes it, which is exactly what a claim about order needs. Evidence for a claim about structure has to come from the structure.

  10. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Thomas Jefferson's First Inaugural Address.

    (1) Jefferson delivered his First Inaugural Address on March 4, 1801, after an election the House settled on its thirty-sixth ballot. (2) He opens by asking for something no defeated party could refuse, that the country unite with one heart and one mind. (3) Only then does he concede the point actually in dispute, that a difference of opinion is not a difference of principle. (4) The new capital was still half-built, and many members of Congress lodged in boarding houses. (5) Because that ground is conceded first, “We are all Republicans, we are all Federalists” arrives as a conclusion rather than as an order.

    The writer is considering deleting sentence 4. Should the writer make this change?

    Correct. Sentences 2, 3, and 5 all track sequence, and sentence 4 tracks architecture; it interrupts a chain of reasoning the reader is meant to follow. A deletion question asks whether a sentence extends the paragraph's one claim, not whether it is interesting.

    The detail is accurate, the capital was famously unfinished in 1801, so this deletes for a reason that does not exist. Deleting true material is fine, but the reason must be relevance.

    Atmosphere is not the paragraph's business here; the claim is about arrangement, and a picturesque detail between two links of an argument makes the argument harder to follow rather than easier.

    The paragraph does not need to explain the thirty-sixth ballot, and sentence 4 would not explain it if it did. Boarding houses have nothing to do with how the House broke the tie.

Lesson 6.1 · Unit 6 · CED skills 1.A and 3.A

Perspective: the view from where the writer is standing

Every writer writes from somewhere: a job, a region, a party, a paycheck. That position is not a defect to be scrubbed out before an argument can be trusted; it is what makes some evidence obvious to this writer and other evidence invisible. So “the author is biased” is a dead end. The live question is narrower: what does standing here let this writer see, and what does it let him walk past?

Key moves
  • Position: the writer's situation: who pays them, who they answer to.
  • Perspective: what the position makes visible. A mill owner and a factory inspector do not see the same room.
  • Stance: the attitude taken toward subject and audience. Stance is chosen; position mostly is not.
  • Blind spot: evidence a position hides rather than evidence a writer suppresses, and so invisible to him.
  • Naming it: “Writing from X, Twain treats Y as obvious” is defensible. “Twain is biased” is not.
Passage

Source: Mark Twain, “Corn-Pone Opinions,” written 1901; first published in Europe and Elsewhere, 1923.

Men think they think upon great political questions, and they do; but they think with their party, not independently; they read its literature, but not that of the other side; they arrive at convictions, but they are drawn from a partial view of the matter in hand and are of no particular value. They swarm with their party, they feel with their party, they are happy in their party's approval; and where the party leads they will follow, whether for right and honor, or through blood and dirt and a mush of mutilated morals.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a humorist of sixty-five writing for no editor; the essay sat in a drawer and appeared thirteen years after his death. Occasion, none in the public sense: a private manuscript from the years Twain wrote his hardest work and declined to print it. Audience, the general reader he chose not to face; subject, where opinions come from. Purpose controls the rest: he is not reporting other people's conformity, he is trying to make you suspect your own.

Exam tip: “biased” is not a rhetorical choice, so it cannot be analyzed. Name what the position supplies and what it withholds: that is a claim a reader can argue with.

Model analysis

Twain's concession is what makes the attack land. He grants mid-sentence that men on great political questions really do think, “and they do”, so the reader with an objection ready finds it already answered. What follows is not a charge of stupidity but a description of procedure: convictions arrive, but “from a partial view,” and so cost nothing to hold. Only once that is granted do the verbs thin into herd motion (swarm, feel, follow), and the reader is carried into “blood and dirt” on a premise he has already accepted.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Twain's choice to concede that his targets genuinely think. Quote no more than six words, and explain what the concession buys him with a partisan reader.

Show a model paragraph

Twain protects his reader's self-respect exactly long enough to get him past the first clause. Conceding that men “think with their party” rather than instead of thinking leaves the reader his intelligence and moves the fault onto his company: the only version of the charge a partisan will sit still for. It also fixes what Twain must prove: not that his reader is foolish, but that he reads one side's literature.

Why it scores: one choice, a short quotation, and commentary on how the choice works on a specific audience, the “how” Row B rewards.

Lesson 6.2 · Unit 6 · CED skills 3.A and 5.A

Bias as a pattern of choices: selection and omission

Bias is not an insult you throw at a text you dislike. Treat it as a pattern you can point to, and it becomes evidence: which facts a writer counts, which words are attached to them, what the subject gets compared to, and what never comes up at all. The last one is hardest, because an omission leaves no mark on the page. You find it by asking what a reader on the other side would have put there.

Key moves
  • Selection: which facts get in. Everything printed was chosen over something else.
  • Labeling: the nouns and verbs assigned to actors and to what they did.
  • Comparison: what the subject is measured against. The standard does most of the arguing.
  • Omission: what a fair account would include and this one does not. Name the missing thing specifically or you have said nothing.
  • Bias as description: a claim about a pattern of choices, provable from the page. Not a guess about motive.
Passage

Source: Justice Henry Billings Brown, majority opinion in Plessy v. Ferguson, Supreme Court of the United States, May 18, 1896.

We consider the underlying fallacy of the plaintiff's argument to consist in the assumption that the enforced separation of the two races stamps the colored race with a badge of inferiority. If this be so, it is not by reason of anything found in the act, but solely because the colored race chooses to put that construction upon it. … Legislation is powerless to eradicate racial instincts or to abolish distinctions based upon physical differences, and the attempt to do so can only result in accentuating the difficulties of the present situation.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, an associate justice writing for a seven-to-one Court. Occasion, a challenge to Louisiana's 1890 Separate Car Act, brought deliberately by a New Orleans committee that arranged Homer Plessy's arrest to create a test case. Audience, the lawyers and lower courts who would have to apply the rule. Subject, whether separation required by law is itself inequality. Purpose controls the selection: to make the statute look like an ordinary exercise of state power, the opinion has to keep the question small.

Exam tip: when a prompt asks about evidence, also ask what the writer declines to treat as evidence. A refusal is a choice, and choices are analyzable.

Model analysis

The opinion's decisive move is to relocate the injury. Calling the plaintiff's argument an “underlying fallacy” converts a disputed question, what a separation law means, into an error in reasoning, which needs no evidence to settle, and the next sentence completes the transfer: the badge exists “solely because the colored race chooses to put that construction upon it.” What was done to a passenger becomes something the passenger elects to perceive. With meaning moved into the reader's head, the law's effects can then be filed under “racial instincts,” a fact of nature no court is obliged to examine.

Write it

Write one paragraph naming one thing this opinion declines to count as evidence, and explain how that omission serves the ruling. Quote no more than six words.

Show a model paragraph

The opinion never asks who wrote the statute or what it was for, and that silence is what lets it stand. Declaring that “legislation is powerless to eradicate racial instincts” puts purpose outside the Court's business, since instincts belong to nature rather than to a legislature in Baton Rouge. A reader permitted to ask which passengers the law was designed to move would be holding evidence about intent; a reader told the arrangement reflects instinct has nothing left to weigh.

Why it scores: it names a specific omission, ties it to a quoted phrase, and explains how the gap does work for the argument rather than merely reporting it.

Lesson 6.3 · Unit 6 · CED skills 3.A and 5.A

One record, two arguments: how framing decides what counts

Brown and Harlan had the same statute in front of them, the same record, the same Fourteenth Amendment, the same railroad car. They disagree about almost no facts. What separates them is the question each decided the case was about, and that question, settled before any evidence is weighed, is what makes a fact central in one opinion and irrelevant in the other.

Key moves
  • Framing: the question a writer treats the text as answering.
  • Relevance follows the frame: the same fact is decisive in one argument and off-topic in the other.
  • Level of abstraction: “a distinction based upon color” and “a law to keep one group out of a coach” describe one statute from different heights.
  • Common ground: the facts both sides accept. A rebuttal has to start there.
  • Reading a pair: analyze the disagreement about what matters, not the disagreement about facts.
Passage

Source: Justice Henry Billings Brown, majority opinion in Plessy v. Ferguson, May 18, 1896.

The object of the amendment was undoubtedly to enforce the absolute equality of the two races before the law, but in the nature of things it could not have been intended to abolish distinctions based upon color, or to enforce social, as distinguished from political, equality…

Source: Justice John Marshall Harlan, dissenting in Plessy v. Ferguson, the same day.

Every one knows that the statute in question had its origin in the purpose, not so much to exclude white persons from railroad cars occupied by blacks, as to exclude colored people from coaches occupied by or assigned to white persons. … Our Constitution is color-blind, and neither knows nor tolerates classes among citizens. … The thin disguise of ‘equal’ accommodations for passengers in railroad coaches will not mislead any one, nor atone for the wrong this day done.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Two justices of one Court, the same occasion and the same audience: the lawyers, legislatures and railroads who would act on the ruling. Harlan, a Kentuckian who had once held people in slavery, wrote alone. Subject is identical; purpose is where they split. Brown must make the statute look like an ordinary classification, Harlan must make it look like a caste rule in costume, and each purpose decides in advance which facts are worth mentioning.

Exam tip: a paired-text question is a rhetorical-situation question in disguise. If you cannot say what each writer decided the argument was about, you are comparing summaries.

Model analysis

Harlan's first three words do the work of a brief. “Every one knows” offers no evidence; it refuses to treat the statute's purpose as an open question and shifts the burden onto anyone who would claim not to know. That refusal is only available at his altitude. Brown argues about “distinctions based upon color,” a category that applies to both races equally and makes the law look symmetrical; Harlan drops to the coach itself and asks who is being kept out of which car, where the symmetry becomes the “thin disguise.” Same statute, different question, different facts in evidence.

Write it

Write one paragraph comparing how the two justices frame the same law. Quote no more than six words from each, and explain how the difference in framing decides which facts count.

Show a model paragraph

The two opinions differ less in what they know than in where they stand to look. Brown frames the case as a question about “distinctions based upon color,” a phrase that keeps both races inside one rule and makes the legislature's aim beside the point. Harlan frames it as a question about who was meant to be excluded, so the statute's “origin in the purpose” becomes the central fact and the equal accommodations become cover. Neither justice needs a document the other lacks; the frame has already sorted the record for him.

Why it scores: it compares framing rather than content, quotes briefly from both, and explains how the choice of question governs the evidence.

Lesson 6.4 · Unit 6 · CED skills 7.A and 3.A

Loaded language: connotation, euphemism, and the label on the actor

Denotation is what a word points at; connotation is what it drags along behind it. Two words can point at the same man, “monarch” and “crowned ruffian”, and neither is false. The second has simply decided the argument before any evidence arrives. Loaded language is not lying, which is why it is worth analyzing rather than merely catching.

Key moves
  • Denotation vs. connotation: what the word names, and what it carries.
  • Euphemism: a softer word for a hard thing: “pacification,” “let go.”
  • Dysphemism: a harsher word for the same thing: “banditti,” “mob.”
  • Labeling the actor: the noun you give a person settles matters before the verbs get there. Rebel or patriot, crowd or riot.
  • The swap test: rewrite the sentence in neutral words. Whatever survives is the provable part; whatever evaporates was the connotation.
Passage

Source: Thomas Paine, Common Sense, Philadelphia, January 1776, from “Of Monarchy and Hereditary Succession.”

But there is another and greater distinction for which no truly natural or religious reason can be assigned, and that is, the distinction of men into KINGS and SUBJECTS. … For all men being originally equals, no one by birth could have a right to set up his own family in perpetual preference to all others for ever… England, since the conquest, hath known some few good monarchs, but groaned beneath a much larger number of bad ones… Of more worth is one honest man to society and in the sight of God, than all the crowned ruffians that ever lived.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, an English immigrant of about a year, publishing anonymously. Occasion, January 1776: nine months after Lexington, when most colonists still described themselves as loyal subjects petitioning a king they blamed only for bad advisers. Audience, ordinary readers; the pamphlet sold in enormous numbers and was read aloud in taverns. Subject, monarchy itself. Purpose controls the diction: Paine is not trying to win a policy debate, he needs a word for “king” that a reader cannot go on respecting.

Exam tip: “strong diction” is not analysis. Name the connotation the word carries and the belief a reader must already hold for it to land.

Model analysis

Paine's most aggressive choice is also his quietest: he never argues that kings are ruffians, he supplies the noun and moves on. “Crowned ruffians” files the whole institution under a category his readers already despise, and the crown becomes decoration on a criminal rather than a source of authority. The comparison carrying it matters as much: “one honest man,” a figure every reader in a tavern could suppose himself to be. The capitalized pair KINGS and SUBJECTS does the same work typographically: set side by side in one sentence, they look less like an order of nature than like two boxes somebody drew.

Write it

Write one paragraph about Paine's choice of nouns for the men he opposes. Quote no more than six words, name a neutral synonym he could have used, and explain what the neutral word would have cost him.

Show a model paragraph

Paine's nouns do the arguing his evidence cannot. He could have written that England had known some few good monarchs and a larger number of bad ones and stopped there; instead the bad ones become “crowned ruffians,” which converts a record of poor government into a claim about the kind of person a king is. Swap in “rulers” and the sentence still reports the same history, but the reader is left free to want a better king: exactly the conclusion Paine needs to close off before he can propose a republic.

Why it scores: one word choice, a short quotation, and commentary that tests the choice against the alternative instead of admiring it.

Lesson 6.5 · Unit 6 · CED skills 4.C and 2.B

Steel-manning: stating the position you are about to criticize

The straw man is tempting because it is easy to knock over and because your own side enjoys watching it fall. It costs you the only reader worth having: the one who holds the view and can tell you have not described it. The repair is a rule: state the other position in a form its holders would sign, then argue against that version.

Key moves
  • Straw man: a weakened version of the opposing view, easy to beat and worth nothing when beaten.
  • Steel man: the strongest honest version, stated in terms its holders would accept.
  • Attribution: name a real person, group or text. “Some people say” is a straw man wearing a coat.
  • Qualification: limit your own claim to what you can defend: under these conditions, measured by this standard (CED 4.C).
  • Ethos cost: a reader who recognizes the caricature stops trusting the rest of the essay, including the parts that were fair.
Passage

Source: Frederick Douglass, oration at the unveiling of the Freedmen's Monument in Memory of Abraham Lincoln, Lincoln Park, Washington, D.C., April 14, 1876.

Truth compels me to admit, even here in the presence of the monument we have erected to his memory, Abraham Lincoln was not, in the fullest sense of the word, either our man or our model. In his interest, in his associations, in his habits of thought, and in his prejudices, he was a white man. … Viewed from the genuine abolition ground, Mr. Lincoln seemed tardy, cold, dull, and indifferent; but measuring him by the sentiment of his country, a sentiment he was bound as a statesman to consult, he was swift, zealous, radical, and determined.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, the country's most famous Black orator, who had pressed and criticized Lincoln in life. Occasion, the dedication of a monument paid for largely by subscriptions from formerly enslaved people, eleven years to the day after the assassination, with President Grant and much of the government seated in front of him. Audience, therefore double. Subject, what Lincoln was owed. Purpose controls the qualification: Douglass must praise Lincoln without letting the praise become a lie.

Exam tip: qualification is not hedging. “Measured by X he was slow; measured by Y he was fast” is a claim with two standards in it, and it scores where “he was complicated” does not.

Model analysis

Douglass builds his defense of Lincoln out of two dials rather than one verdict. “Viewed from the genuine abolition ground” and “measuring him by the sentiment of his country” are not two opinions but two stated standards, so the lists that follow (tardy, cold, dull against swift, zealous, radical) arrive as measurements instead of as a change of heart. Naming the standard first is what lets the criticism stand: the officials in front of him cannot call the first list a slander when the man delivering it is unveiling the statue, and the audience that paid for the monument is not asked to pretend.

Write it

Write one paragraph about Douglass's decision to state his criticism of Lincoln at the monument itself. Quote no more than six words, and explain how naming the standard of judgment protects his ethos with both halves of his audience.

Show a model paragraph

Douglass earns the right to praise by first refusing to flatter. Admitting that Lincoln was “not… either our man or our model” concedes in public what his white audience suspected he believed privately, and a speaker who volunteers the damaging fact is harder to accuse of special pleading when he turns to the defense. The two standards then serve both halves of the crowd without splitting the speech: the abolitionist measure is named openly, and the verdict that follows has already survived the harder test.

Why it scores: it treats the concession as a rhetorical choice, quotes briefly, and explains how the qualification works on two audiences at once.

Unit 6 review · 10 multiple-choice

Unit 6 review: position, perspective, and bias

Six reading questions on one passage from Harlan's dissent and four revision questions on short student drafts: the reading items reward naming what a writer's position lets him treat as settled, so decide that before you look at the options.

Multiple choice

  1. Source: Justice John Marshall Harlan, dissenting in Plessy v. Ferguson, Supreme Court of the United States, May 18, 1896.

    The white race deems itself to be the dominant race in this country. And so it is, in prestige, in achievements, in education, in wealth and in power. So, I doubt not, it will continue to be for all time, if it remains true to its great heritage and holds fast to the principles of constitutional liberty. But in view of the Constitution, in the eye of the law, there is in this country no superior, dominant, ruling class of citizens. There is no caste here. Our Constitution is color-blind, and neither knows nor tolerates classes among citizens.

    Which of the following best describes the rhetorical situation of the passage?

    No bill is before anyone; the passage responds to a decision already made by a court. An argument written after the vote has different work to do from one written before.

    A dissent is addressed first to the people who must live with the ruling, including those who disagree with the writer. Nothing in the passage assumes agreement: the long concession at the start assumes the opposite.

    The headnote says “dissenting,” and Harlan wrote alone against seven. Reading a dissent as the Court's holding inverts everything about its purpose, which is to argue rather than to instruct.

    Correct. He has lost, so he cannot command; he can only make the strongest record of the objection. That is why the passage spends three sentences granting his opponents' premise before it states a principle it has no power to enforce.

  2. In the passage above, which of the following best states Harlan's claim?

    Harlan concedes the dominance as a fact and says nothing about its cause; he attaches its continuance to a condition, not to ability. Treating a concession as an endorsement is the standard trap in this passage.

    Correct. The pivot on “But” separates what is true in society from what is true under law, and everything after it (no ruling class, no caste, a color-blind Constitution) states the legal proposition the dissent rests on.

    Practicality never comes up. Harlan's objection is that the law contradicts a constitutional principle, which is a different and stronger ground than difficulty of administration.

    That distinction belongs to the majority opinion Harlan is answering. Attaching an opponent's position to the writer is easy to do when both texts concern the same amendment, and rereading the pivot prevents it.

  3. In the passage above, the first three sentences primarily serve to

    Nothing here is offered as proof of superiority; “deems itself” reports a belief and the list that follows reports a distribution of prestige and power. A concession describes a state of affairs, it does not justify it.

    Credentials are not the issue in a signed judicial opinion, and no historical authority is claimed. An answer that makes a passage about the writer instead of about the argument is almost always off.

    Correct. By conceding dominance at maximum strength, Harlan removes it from the dispute; an opponent who replies that the white race is dominant has said only what Harlan has already said. The concession is what makes the pivot unanswerable on those terms.

    No weighing happens. The passage does not compare this evidence with any other; it changes the standard of judgment, which is a different move from balancing evidence.

  4. In the passage above, which of the following best describes the line of reasoning?

    Correct. Sentences one through three concede, “But” turns, and sentences four through six declare. Notice that the declarations get shorter as they go: the reasoning has already been done by the turn, so the principle needs no defense.

    No precedent is cited and no term is formally defined. “Caste” is used as a conclusion, not built up from examples.

    The statute's history appears nowhere in this passage, and no prediction is made except the conditional one in the third sentence, which belongs to the concession.

    There are no questions at all. Every sentence is declarative, which is part of the effect: a dissent that has lost the vote gains force by asserting rather than asking.

  5. In the passage above, the paired phrases “in view of the Constitution, in the eye of the law” primarily

    Correct. Prestige, wealth, and power are real and, in the eye of the law, irrelevant. Framing is what decides relevance, and these two phrases are where the frame changes.

    The passage says what the law does recognize, not what it has failed to do. A concession of failure would weaken the flat declarations that follow.

    Public opinion is what the phrases exclude. Harlan has just described the social standing of the races and is now setting it outside the question.

    The phrases are repetitive in form, but the repetition insists on a single standard twice over, and the sentence turns on it. Naming a device correctly and then assigning it no effect is the most frequent way to miss an effect question.

  6. In the passage above, Harlan's decision to concede dominance “in prestige, in achievements, in education, in wealth and in power” most clearly shows an understanding of an audience that

    A neutral audience would not need the concession at all; you concede what your readers already believe. The length and force of the list are the measure of how firmly he expects them to hold it.

    Correct. These are lawyers, judges, and legislators in 1896, and the fact Harlan grants is the one they would have raised first. Granting it costs him nothing he needs and buys him a hearing for the sentence that begins “But.”

    His audience is composed of people whose work is applying the Constitution; their authority and its authority are the same. The dispute is over what it requires, not over whether it binds.

    A dissent is written for the people who must apply the rule and for later courts, not as consolation for the losing party. Consolation would not require conceding anything at all.

  7. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Mark Twain.

    (1) Mark Twain wrote “Corn-Pone Opinions” in 1901 and left it unpublished; it appeared in 1923, thirteen years after his death. (2) The essay grants at the start that men really do think about great political questions. (3) Similarly, it says that they think with their party rather than independently. (4) The verbs then thin into herd motion — they swarm, they feel, they follow. (5) A partisan reader has granted the premise before the charge arrives.

    The writer wants the opening of sentence 3 to name the relationship between sentences 2 and 3. Which version of the opening of sentence 3 best accomplishes this goal?

    “For instance” promises an example of the previous sentence, but thinking with one's party is not an instance of thinking; it is a limit placed on it. The connective would promise the reader a relationship the sentences never perform.

    “Consequently” claims that the second statement follows from the first. Twain's point is that men think and yet do not think independently, which is a qualification rather than a consequence.

    Correct. Sentence 2 concedes and sentence 3 takes most of the concession back, so the relationship is contrast, and “at once” records how quickly the limit arrives, which is the move sentence 5 depends on.

    “In other words” announces a restatement, and these two sentences say different things: one grants that men think, the other says whose thinking it is. A restatement marker over a qualification hides the very turn the paragraph is about.

  8. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Thomas Paine.

    (1) Thomas Paine published “Common Sense” anonymously in Philadelphia in January 1776. (2) Paine uses some very strong words for kings. (3) He never argues that kings are ruffians; he supplies the noun and moves on. (4) Set beside “one honest man,” the phrase “crowned ruffians” makes the crown decoration on a criminal rather than a source of authority. (5) A reader who accepts the noun has nothing left to respect.

    The writer wants sentence 2 to state a defensible claim that sentences 3 through 5 support. Which version of sentence 2 best accomplishes this goal?

    Biography is not a claim about the text, and none of the following sentences bears on Paine's citizenship. The detail is true, relevant to a different paragraph, and useless here.

    “Strong diction” labels without claiming anything about what the diction does, so nothing in the paragraph can support or refute it. On the exam this is the classic device-naming sentence offered in place of a claim.

    Correct. It is arguable, it names a specific effect of word choice, and sentences 3 through 5 are the proof: no argument, a supplied noun, and a reader with nothing left to respect. A claim a paragraph can prove is one written to fit the evidence in hand.

    This is real context and would help elsewhere, but it is a fact about readers rather than an arguable statement about Paine's choices, and sentences 3 through 5 do not prove it.

  9. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about the majority opinion in Plessy v. Ferguson.

    (1) Writing for a seven-to-one Court in 1896, Justice Brown called the plaintiff's argument an “underlying fallacy.” (2) The phrase converts a disputed question — what a separation law means — into an error in reasoning, which needs no evidence to settle. (3) The opinion then places the badge of inferiority in what the plaintiff chooses to see. (4) Homer Plessy's arrest had been arranged by a New Orleans committee in order to create a test case. (5) With the meaning moved into the passenger's head, the law's effects can be filed under instincts no court is obliged to examine.

    The writer is considering deleting sentence 4. Should the writer make this change?

    The detail is accurate, a New Orleans committee organized the arrest to create a test case, so deleting it for inaccuracy would be deleting for a reason that does not exist. Relevance, not truth, is the test.

    The background is genuinely useful in an essay about the case, which is exactly what makes this distractor tempting. This paragraph, though, is about three moves inside the opinion's prose, and sentence 4 breaks that chain between 3 and 5.

    Naming the plaintiff is not a requirement the paragraph has set for itself, and a paragraph analyzing an opinion's language can refer to “the plaintiff” throughout without loss.

    Correct. Sentences 1, 2, 3, and 5 trace one continuous movement (fallacy, then perception, then instinct), and sentence 4 belongs to the history of the litigation. Unity asks whether a sentence extends the one claim, however interesting it is on its own.

  10. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Frederick Douglass.

    (1) On April 14, 1876, at the unveiling of the Freedmen's Monument in Washington, Frederick Douglass both praised Lincoln and judged him, in the same speech. (2) President Grant and much of the government sat in front of him, and the monument had been paid for largely by subscriptions from formerly enslaved people. (3) Douglass keeps his standing with both halves of that audience by naming the measure before he delivers the verdict. (4) Neither half is asked to pretend.

    The writer wants to add a sentence after sentence 3 that supports sentence 3 with specific evidence from the oration. Which of the following best accomplishes this goal?

    The meetings are true and show that Douglass knew Lincoln, but sentence 3 claims something about how the speech is built. Evidence for a claim about method has to come from the method.

    Correct. It quotes the two stated standards and the two verdicts that follow from them, which is precisely what “naming the measure before he delivers the verdict” asserts. The evidence and the claim describe the same sentence of the oration.

    Praise for the speech is an evaluation, not evidence, and it would support any claim about the oration equally well, which is another way of saying it supports none of them.

    Douglass's own history matters to the occasion and could open a different paragraph, but it says nothing about the order in which he places a standard and a judgment inside the speech.

Lesson 7.1 · Unit 7 · CED skills 4.C and 3.C

Qualification: the modifiers that decide how much you have to prove

A claim with no limits on it is the easiest kind to beat. “Reform movements succeed when outsiders lead them” loses to one insider. Add a qualifier (often, before the Civil War, for movements without money), and the sentence claims less and holds more. That trade is the skill; it fails only when the limit leaves nothing to argue about.

Key moves
  • Qualifier: a phrase limiting a claim's reach: often, for these readers, until 1877.
  • The dials: how many, how often, how certain, and where or when the claim holds.
  • Hedging that strengthens: “most” invites a counterexample and survives it; “all” is refuted by one.
  • Hedging that evades: “in some ways, this may have had an effect” leaves nothing disputable, and so nothing proved.
  • The test: ask what the qualifier excludes. Nothing, delete it; the strongest counterexample, keep it.
Passage

Source: Benjamin Franklin, speech at the close of the Constitutional Convention, Philadelphia, September 17, 1787, as recorded by James Madison.

Mr. President, I confess that there are several parts of this constitution which I do not at present approve, but I am not sure I shall never approve them: For having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged by better information, or fuller consideration, to change opinions even on important subjects, which I once thought right, but found to be otherwise. … I consent, Sir, to this Constitution because I expect no better, and because I am not sure, that it is not the best.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, the convention's oldest delegate at eighty-one, too frail to read his own words: James Wilson read them for him. Occasion, the final day, the signing minutes away and several delegates refusing. Audience, the holdouts in the room, and then the state conventions, since the speech went into print. Purpose organizes every hedge: Franklin is not defending the document, he is lowering what a delegate must believe in order to sign it.

Exam tip: naming a qualifier is half the work. Say what it excludes and what the writer gains by excluding it: that is the commentary.

Model analysis

Franklin's qualifiers keep sliding the argument off the Constitution and onto the delegate's own certainty. “I do not at present approve” dates an objection instead of dropping it, and “I am not sure I shall never approve them” refuses the single thing a holdout would have to assert: permanence. The consent sentence finishes the move by burying its claim under two negatives: he is “not sure, that it is not the best.” Almost no one in that room could deny that, and denying it is the only way left to refuse.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Franklin's decision to qualify his own judgment rather than the document. Quote no more than six words, and explain how that choice works on a delegate who still objects.

Show a model paragraph

Franklin protects the objectors by making doubt a condition of every man in the room, himself first. He reports being “obliged by better information” to change his mind before, so uncertainty arrives as the yield of long experience rather than as a charge against anyone present. A delegate who signs after that has not conceded he was wrong about the parts he dislikes, only that he might be: exactly what Franklin has just conceded about himself. The hedge offers the holdouts a way to move without a public retraction.

Why it scores: a claim about one specific choice, a short quotation, and commentary explaining how the qualifier works on this audience at this moment.

Lesson 7.2 · Unit 7 · CED skills 3.C and 4.C

Concession: grant the fact, keep the argument

Conceding looks like losing ground, and students avoid it for that reason. It is closer to choosing which ground to fight on. You grant the part of the other case that is true, which costs you a fact you could not have beaten anyway, and you buy the attention of a reader who came in braced for a writer who would pretend that fact away.

Key moves
  • Concession: granting that something in the opposing case is true.
  • The pivot: the sentence right after it, showing why the granted point does not decide the question. A concession without a pivot is a retraction.
  • Fact, not inference: grant the evidence and deny what the other side draws from it. Grant the inference and the argument is over.
  • Placement: early, it clears an objection before the reader forms it; late, it answers the one the reader has been holding all along.
  • Fairness test: state the other side in words its holder would accept. Conceding to a weak version buys nothing.
Passage

Source: Abraham Lincoln, First Inaugural Address, Washington, D.C., March 4, 1861.

Apprehension seems to exist among the people of the Southern States that by the accession of a Republican Administration their property and their peace and personal security are to be endangered. There has never been any reasonable cause for such apprehension. … One section of our country believes slavery is right and ought to be extended, while the other believes it is wrong and ought not to be extended. That is the only substantial dispute. … In your hands, my dissatisfied fellow-countrymen, and not in mine, is the momentous issue of civil war. The Government will not assail you. You can have no conflict without being yourselves the aggressors.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a president taking the oath with seven states already claiming to have left, elected with under forty percent of the popular vote and absent from most Southern ballots. Occasion, the inauguration at the unfinished Capitol. Audience, the slaveholding states still in the Union and deciding, and Northerners deciding how much force they would accept. Purpose governs the concessions: he needs the choice for war to belong, visibly, to someone else.

Exam tip: quote the concession and the pivot together. A reader cannot tell what a concession accomplishes until the next sentence arrives, and the Row B commentary lives in that gap.

Model analysis

Lincoln concedes the smallest thing that will still do the work. “Apprehension seems to exist” grants that the fear is real without granting that anything justifies it, and the flat next sentence denies the cause. The larger concession is more expensive and better spent: the dispute over slavery is stated in terms a secessionist would sign, then immediately fenced; it is “the only substantial dispute.” Fairness is what buys the fence. Having granted the disagreement and conceded nothing else, he can hand over the decision itself, and a reader who accepted the first two moves has no ground left from which to hand it back.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Lincoln's choice to state the Southern position in words its holders would accept. Quote no more than six words, and explain what that fairness buys him in the sentences that follow.

Show a model paragraph

Lincoln states the opposing belief accurately so that he can shrink it without seeming to cheat. Naming the disagreement over whether slavery “ought to be extended” describes the conflict as a secessionist would, and a reader who recognizes his own position in that sentence has no objection ready when the next one calls it “the only substantial dispute.” The concession is doing the fencing. One real disagreement, fully granted, makes every other grievance an exaggeration, which is what Lincoln needs before he can tell his audience that any war will have been started by them.

Why it scores: it claims something about a choice, quotes briefly, and explains how conceding one point sets up a limit the audience cannot refuse.

Lesson 7.3 · Unit 7 · CED skill 4.C

Counterargument and rebuttal: answering the objection that could stop you

Most student counterarguments are built to lose. “Some might say the author is boring, but he is not” answers nobody. The objection worth printing is the one that would sink your claim if it were true: and once you have stated it that honestly, you owe the reader a specific route out, not a shrug.

Key moves
  • Counterargument: the strongest objection a reasonable opponent would raise, stated in the form its holder would recognize.
  • Deny the evidence: the facts behind the objection are wrong or unproven.
  • Deny the inference: the facts are right; the conclusion does not follow from them.
  • Limit the scope: the objection holds, but not in the case at issue.
  • Accept and outweigh: it is true, and a larger consideration governs anyway.
  • Not a route: “however, this argument is unconvincing.” That sentence names a disagreement and takes none of the four.
Passage

Source: Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., dissenting opinion in Abrams v. United States, decided November 10, 1919.

Persecution for the expression of opinions seems to me perfectly logical. If you have no doubt of your premises or your power and want a certain result with all your heart you naturally express your wishes in law and sweep away all opposition. … But when men have realized that time has upset many fighting faiths, they may come to believe even more than they believe the very foundations of their own conduct that the ultimate good desired is better reached by free trade in ideas — that the best test of truth is the power of the thought to get itself accepted in the competition of the market.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a justice of seventy-eight who had written for a unanimous Court eight months earlier upholding convictions under the Espionage Act. Occasion, the conviction of Russian-born radicals for leaflets opposing American intervention in Russia, during the first Red Scare. Audience, nominally his colleagues; really the later courts a dissent is written for. Purpose: to set a limit on a doctrine he had helped build, which is why the opinion begins by conceding the other side's logic.

Exam tip: name which of the four routes the writer takes. “He disagrees” is summary; “he grants the facts and denies the inference” is analysis.

Model analysis

Holmes opens by giving away more than he has to, and the giveaway is the argument. Calling persecution “perfectly logical” grants the censor's reasoning as reasoning, so what follows cannot be dismissed as squeamishness. The concession also plants the premise that will fail: the logic works, he says, only for someone who has “no doubt of your premises or your power.” Everything after that attacks certainty rather than censorship. By the time the market of ideas appears, it is not offered as a nobler principle but as the only thing left to a reader who has admitted that time upsets fighting faiths: including his own.

Write it

Write one paragraph naming which of the four rebuttal routes Holmes takes and explaining how his opening concession makes that route available. Quote no more than six words.

Show a model paragraph

Holmes denies the inference rather than the evidence, and his first sentence is what lets him. Granting that persecution is “perfectly logical” concedes every fact a censor would offer (that suppression works, that a government may want it to), so the disagreement is moved onto the one step the censor never examines, his own certainty. Once the argument for suppression is shown to rest on having “no doubt,” doubt alone defeats it, and no factual finding about the leaflets in the case can repair the gap. Conceding the logic is how Holmes gets to choose the ground.

Why it scores: it names the rebuttal route, quotes a few words, and explains how the concession sets up the denial, the “how” Row B pays for.

Lesson 7.4 · Unit 7 · CED skill 6.A

Sophistication: the four routes to Row C, and the phrases that fake it

Row C is worth one point and most essays do not get it. It is not awarded for long words or a grand last paragraph. It is awarded when an essay does something its own argument made necessary, and a reader can usually tell within a paragraph whether the complexity was discovered or bolted on.

Key moves
  • Explain a tension: a contradiction or irony the text or the situation actually contains, held open rather than tidied away.
  • Situate in a broader context: a larger debate or a later moment, brought in because it changes the reading, not to decorate the conclusion.
  • Account for a complex rhetorical situation: competing audiences, constraints, or purposes that pull against each other.
  • Style: consistently vivid and persuasive prose. Real, rare, and never a substitute for the first three.
  • The fakes: “throughout history,” “in today's society,” a closing restatement in bigger words, one counterargument sentence dropped at the end.
Passage

Source: W. E. B. Du Bois, “Of Our Spiritual Strivings,” The Souls of Black Folk, 1903.

It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one's self through the eyes of others, of measuring one's soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever feels his twoness,—an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder. The history of the American Negro is the history of this strife,—this longing to attain self-conscious manhood, to merge his double self into a better and truer self.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, the first Black American to hold a Harvard doctorate, then teaching at Atlanta University. Occasion, the opening chapter of a book assembled from magazine essays in 1903; the book's third chapter breaks openly with Booker T. Washington. Audience, white Northern readers who believed the question settled, and Black readers who would recognize the description from the inside. Subject is the thing to hold: the tension is not a device in the passage, it is what the passage is about.

Exam tip: a tension earns Row C only if the writer holds it. If your last sentence dissolves it, you have written a transition, not sophistication.

Model analysis

Du Bois names the condition twice and lets the names disagree. “Double-consciousness” sounds like an enlargement, two ways of seeing where other people have one, while the same sentence describes that seeing as “measuring one's soul by the tape” of a world already amused by the result, which is an instrument for shrinking. Neither reading is permitted to cancel the other. The paired nouns keep the balance from settling: “two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings” promises a resolution the grammar never delivers, and what holds the person together is “dogged strength,” not synthesis. Even the closing sentence offers only a longing “to merge his double self,” so the merger stays a wish and the strife stays the history.

Write it

Write one paragraph identifying the tension Du Bois builds and explaining how one specific choice keeps it open. Quote no more than six words. Do not resolve the tension in your last sentence: that is the move that loses the point.

Show a model paragraph

Du Bois makes the reader hold two incompatible descriptions of one condition at once. He calls it “a peculiar sensation,” a phrase mild enough for a memoir, then attaches it to a measurement taken by a world that looks on “in amused contempt and pity,” so one sentence reports both an experience and an assault. His modifiers refuse to settle it: the strivings are “unreconciled,” the ideals are “warring,” and the body holds only by effort. A reader who wants the passage to land on pride or on grievance is refused both, which is the condition itself, not an indecision about it.

Why it scores: it names a tension the text really contains and shows how particular choices sustain it, instead of announcing complexity in a last sentence.

Lesson 7.5 · Unit 7 · CED skills 4.B and 4.C

Writing it: a qualified thesis, then the paragraph that concedes and pivots

Now you produce the unit's two sentences. A flat thesis says what happened; a qualified thesis says under what conditions it happened, which is the version a reader can test. The concession paragraph then does in a paragraph what the thesis did in a clause: it grants the opposing fact and keeps the claim.

Key moves
  • Flat to qualified: add the domain, degree, or condition. “Thoreau rejects government” becomes “Thoreau rejects government as a destination, not as a present arrangement.”
  • The although pattern: “Although [the other side's best point], [your claim], because [the reason that survives it].” The claim goes in the main clause.
  • Paragraph shape: name the objection fairly, grant exactly what is true, pivot on a reason, close on the limit you now hold.
  • One hedge per clause: “may have somewhat contributed in some ways” is four hedges and no claim.
  • Where not to qualify: if every clause is fenced, there is no position left for a reader to accept or reject.
Passage

Source: Henry David Thoreau, “Resistance to Civil Government” (later reprinted as “Civil Disobedience”), Aesthetic Papers, Boston, 1849.

I heartily accept the motto,—“That government is best which governs least;” and I should like to see it acted up to more rapidly and systematically. Carried out, it finally amounts to this, which also I believe,—“That government is best which governs not at all;” and when men are prepared for it, that will be the kind of government which they will have. … But, to speak practically and as a citizen, unlike those who call themselves no-government men, I ask for, not at once no government, but at once a better government.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a writer of thirty who had spent a night in the Concord jail for refusing the poll tax. Occasion, a lyceum lecture to his neighbors in 1848, printed the following year. Audience, townspeople who paid their taxes and thought him odd, plus antislavery readers who wanted a principle they could act on. Purpose explains the placement of every limit: he has to justify refusing the tax without recommending that anyone abolish the town.

Exam tip: when a writer qualifies in one place and refuses to in another, that contrast is your claim. Say what the qualification protects.

Model analysis

Thoreau qualifies the timing of his position so that he never has to soften its content. He takes the motto to its limit and endorses that limit, government “which governs not at all,” a conclusion he says “also I believe”, then hangs it on a condition he declines to schedule: “when men are prepared for it.” The explicit qualification that follows looks like retreat and is not. Asking “not at once no government, but at once a better government” separates him from the no-government men by calendar rather than by principle, and the repeated “at once” quietly moves the urgency onto reform. The destination is conceded away; the demand never is.

Write it

Write one body paragraph that makes a qualified claim about where Thoreau limits his own position. Open with an although sentence conceding the strongest objection to your claim, quote no more than six words, and close on commentary rather than on the quotation.

Show a model paragraph

Although the opening motto reads like a call to abolish government outright, Thoreau's qualification is about timing rather than principle, and that is what makes the essay usable by neighbors who would abolish nothing. He asks for “not at once no government, but at once a better government,” and the repeated phrase carries the whole maneuver: the words that postpone abolition make reform immediate. A townsman who rejects the anarchists is left without a way to reject the demand, since the demand has been detached from its destination. The limit costs Thoreau the purity of his motto and buys him everyone still sitting in the town meeting.

Why it scores: the although-clause concedes a real objection, the main clause keeps the claim, and the commentary names what the qualification costs and what it buys.

Unit 7 review · 10 multiple-choice

Unit 7 review: qualification, concession, and complexity

Six reading questions on one passage from Booker T. Washington and four revision questions on short student drafts: answer each item before you open the rationales, then read all four to see which misreading every distractor was built from.

Multiple choice

  1. Source: Booker T. Washington, address at the opening of the Cotton States and International Exposition, Atlanta, Georgia, September 18, 1895; earlier in the speech he has told of a ship in distress whose signal for water was answered, “Cast down your bucket where you are.”

    To those of my race who depend on bettering their condition in a foreign land or who underestimate the importance of cultivating friendly relations with the Southern white man, who is their next-door neighbor, I would say: “Cast down your bucket where you are.” … In all things that are purely social we can be as separate as the fingers, yet one as the hand in all things essential to mutual progress.

    Which of the following best describes the rhetorical situation the passage has to manage?

    The passage speaks past its immediate addressees at every turn: the people named in the first clause are not the people whose “friendly relations” are being negotiated. An audience analysis that names one group cannot explain why the sentences have to be built this way.

    Ceremonial occasions often do call for celebration, which is what makes this the tempting answer. Washington is asking groups with different interests to accept one arrangement, and the fences he builds around every claim are the evidence that he expects resistance.

    Correct. The first sentence turns toward Black Southerners weighing emigration, the second sets the terms on which two races will share a region, and the occasion, an exposition staged to draw Northern capital South, seats investors in the same hall. Every audience hears every word, which is why the claim is fenced twice in a single sentence.

    Third-person reference is not absence: the Southern white man is called “their next-door neighbor” because Washington is describing him to one part of the audience while he sits in another part of it. Mistaking who is in the room is the fastest way to misjudge the constraints on a speech.

  2. In the passage above, which of the following best states Washington's claim about separation between the races?

    Correct. “Purely social” names the domain in which he grants separation and “all things essential to mutual progress” names the domain in which he refuses it. The sentence is a boundary, and those two phrases are its posts.

    This reverses his order. Washington gives the social sphere away first and holds the sphere of work and progress, and no sentence here proposes that the trade will later be undone.

    The excerpt names no condition and no end date. The timetable belongs to other parts of Washington's program and to his critics' readings of it, and importing a claim from outside the passage is the standard way to lose a claim question.

    The figure describes an arrangement rather than a law of nature, and he applies it to what the two races “can” do, not to what they must. Reading a simile as a proof is how analogies get overweighted.

  3. In the passage above, Washington's decision to open by addressing “those of my race who depend on bettering their condition in a foreign land” primarily serves to

    Nothing in the sentence grants that emigration has worked; “depend on” describes a hope, not a result. A concession has to give away something the other side actually holds.

    Northern critics are neither named nor answered here, and the sentence is addressed to Washington's own race. Assigning an address to a group the passage never mentions is a reliable way to miss a function item.

    Departure would be leverage if he were threatening it, which is what makes this reading tempting. He is arguing against emigration instead, so the sentence spends that leverage rather than holding it over anyone.

    Correct. He puts the strongest rival plan for his own community on the table and redirects it in his own voice, so that when “friendly relations with the Southern white man” arrives it is counsel he has already given his people. Placing the counterargument first is what keeps the advice from sounding like a condition someone else imposed.

  4. In the passage above, the comparison of the two races to the fingers and the hand primarily

    The figure is offered as something the races “can” do, not as an anatomical fact about them. A comparison illustrates a proposal; it cannot prove one, and treating it as proof is the usual overreading of an analogy.

    Correct. A hand is one body whose fingers are already apart, so the concession in the first half and the demand in the second arrive as two descriptions of a single thing. The image converts a negotiated arrangement into an observation about a whole that exists already.

    The hand is the point of the figure (one, in all things essential), so the image insists on union rather than denying it. Reading only the first half of an analogy is how its argument gets reversed.

    Skill with figurative language is a fact about the speaker, not an effect on the argument. A true statement about the author is the classic wrong answer to a question about what a device does.

  5. In the passage above, the qualifier “purely” in “all things that are purely social” does which of the following?

    Correct. Ask what a qualifier excludes: “purely social” excludes every social matter that also touches wages, schooling, or law, which is most of what a listener would have meant by the word. The concession is far narrower than it first sounds, and that narrowing is the sentence's work.

    “Purely” does the opposite of intensifying: it shrinks the class of things covered. Treating limiting words as emphasis is the most common misreading on qualification items.

    Nothing here disparages social life, and he grants separation in that sphere rather than dismissing the subject. Connotation has to be read against what the sentence is actually doing.

    A hedge that left nothing disputable would be evasion, but this one draws a line a listener can accept or refuse: separation here, none there. The test is whether a qualifier excludes something, and this one excludes a great deal.

  6. In the passage above, which of the following best describes the line of reasoning?

    No general principle opens the excerpt and no story is told inside it; the borrowed sentence arrives as counsel, not as an illustration of a rule already laid down.

    No evidence is brought against emigration at all. Washington redirects the plan instead of disproving it, and mistaking redirection for refutation costs you the distinctive move of the passage.

    He does sort human affairs into two classes, the purely social and the essential to mutual progress, but he defines neither term and judges both in the same clause, so division cannot be the shape of the reasoning.

    Correct. Follow the order: the emigration plan is met and turned, the quoted sentence says what to do in its place, and the hand fixes the limits of that alternative. The reasoning ends on a boundary rather than on a proof, which is what makes the qualifiers the most important words in it.

  7. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Mary Wollstonecraft.

    (1) Mary Wollstonecraft published A Vindication of the Rights of Woman in 1792. (2) Her case for educating women runs through a claim about virtue rather than through a claim about rights alone. (3) Wollstonecraft argues that women are kept ignorant. (4) She grants that men may be the stronger sex and then denies that strength settles anything about virtue. (5) That concession is what lets her ask for a single standard instead of two.

    The writer wants to revise sentence 3 so that it states the claim the rest of the paragraph actually supports. Which version best accomplishes this goal?

    “Always” and “every society” make the claim larger and easier to beat, since one counterexample ends it. A revision that strips the limits off a thesis moves in exactly the wrong direction.

    Correct. Sentences 4 and 5 turn on a single standard of virtue and on what nature does not settle, so a thesis that locates the cause of ignorance in schooling rather than in nature is the claim the paragraph goes on to defend.

    Four hedges stacked in one sentence, “may perhaps,” “could,” “in some ways”, leave nothing a reader could dispute, and a sentence no one can refuse is not a thesis. Qualification limits a claim; it does not dissolve one.

    Present-day relevance is not a qualification. The sentence still asserts only that women were kept ignorant, and the added clause changes no condition, degree, or domain.

  8. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Frederick Douglass's Fourth of July oration.

    (1) On July 5, 1852, Frederick Douglass spoke at Corinthian Hall in Rochester to an audience that had invited him to mark the Fourth. (2) He spends the opening of the speech praising the founders as brave and great men. (3) None of that praise is withdrawn later. (4) For example, he asks what the Fourth of July is to the American slave, and the question measures the holiday by a standard his listeners have already accepted. (5) A holiday he had belittled could have indicted no one.

    The writer wants the opening of sentence 4 to name the relationship the sentences actually have. Which version of the opening of sentence 4 best accomplishes this goal?

    “However” promises that sentence 4 will cut against sentence 3, and it does not: the praise left standing is the very thing the question uses. A connective that misnames a relationship reads to a grader as broken reasoning, not as style.

    An example relationship would require sentence 4 to be an instance of what sentence 3 describes, and a question about the slave is not an instance of praise going unwithdrawn. It is the use Douglass makes of that fact.

    Correct. Sentence 3 establishes the ground, the praise still stands, and sentence 4 shows him arguing from it, which is exactly what sentence 5 confirms by naming what a belittled holiday could not have done. Naming the footing is the work this transition has.

    “Therefore” claims the question follows logically from the praise, but keeping the praise intact does not produce the question; it makes the question usable. Enabling and entailing are different relationships, and only one of them holds here.

  9. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Susan B. Anthony.

    (1) After she was arrested in 1872 for voting in Rochester, Susan B. Anthony carried her defense through the county where she was to be tried, until the trial was moved to a neighboring one. (2) Her lecture asked whether it was a crime for a citizen of the United States to vote. (3) She never disputes the facts: she voted, and she meant the law to be tested. (4) She argues instead that the facts the prosecution can prove do not amount to the crime it names.

    The writer wants to add a sentence after sentence 4 that names the rebuttal route Anthony takes and explains why it was the one available to her. Which of the following best accomplishes this goal?

    Correct. Granting the act and disputing what the act amounts to is the deny-the-inference route, and the sentence also says why the other routes were shut: with the facts admitted, there was no evidence left to attack.

    The fine is real (one hundred dollars, which she refused to pay), but the outcome of the trial says nothing about how her argument was built. A true detail that supports no claim in the paragraph is still a digression.

    Period-wide disagreement is background that would fit almost any paragraph about suffrage, which is another way of saying it supports none of them. Evidence has to bear on the specific claim sentence 4 makes.

    Calling an objection unconvincing names a disagreement and takes none of the four routes out of one. A rebuttal has to say which part fails: the evidence, the inference, the scope, or the weight.

  10. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Lincoln's Second Inaugural Address.

    (1) Lincoln delivered his Second Inaugural on March 4, 1865, with the war all but won. (2) He grants that both sides read the same Bible and pray to the same God, and then calls it strange that any men should ask a just God's aid in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men's faces. (3) The rebuke is unmistakable. (4) One clause later he suspends his own right to deliver it.

    The writer wants to close the paragraph with a sentence that develops the tension sentences 3 and 4 create rather than dissolving it. Which of the following best accomplishes this goal?

    “Throughout history” opens onto a generality the paragraph never earned, and it is the best-known of the phrases readers treat as a substitute for analysis rather than as complexity.

    Correct. It holds both halves in force (the accusation stands, the judge steps down), and then extends the tension by naming who is included in the offense, which is what the paragraph's own evidence has set up.

    Announcing that the tension disappears is the surest way to lose the point it was worth. Sophistication is credited for holding a contradiction open, not for tidying it into a moral in the final line.

    Length and circulation are facts about the speech, not developments of the paragraph's claim, and a closing sentence that changes the subject wastes the position in a paragraph that carries the most weight.

Lesson 8.1 · Unit 8 · CED skills 7.A and 8.A

Diction and connotation: the approximate word and the right one

Diction is word choice, and it is never only about meaning. A crowd and a mob name the same people; thrifty and cheap name the same habit. Denotation is what a word names; connotation is what it drags in behind, and connotation is where the analysis happens. Register (formal, colloquial, technical) does the same job at the scale of a whole passage.

Key moves
  • Denotation and connotation: what a word names, and the attitude it carries. Analysis lives in the second.
  • Register: formal, colloquial, technical, slang: it sets the relationship between writer and reader.
  • Concrete and abstract: concrete words let a reader see; abstract words let a writer generalize.
  • Borrowed vocabulary: moving one field's words into another imports that field's standard of judgment.
  • Shift as signal: where the register breaks is the place the writer wants felt. Name the break, not the mood.
Passage

Source: Mark Twain, “Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses,” North American Review, July 1895.

Cooper's word-sense was singularly dull. When a person has a poor ear for music he will flat and sharp right along without knowing it. He keeps near the tune, but it is not the tune. When a person has a poor ear for words, the result is a literary flatting and sharping; you perceive what he is intending to say, but you also perceive that he doesn't say it. This is Cooper. He was not a word-musician. His ear was satisfied with the approximate word.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, the most famous humorist in America, nearly sixty, writing in a serious literary review. Occasion, the steady promotion of Cooper by professors as an American classic. Audience, educated readers told to admire him and given no reason to doubt it. Subject, Cooper's sentences. Audience controls the diction: these are people who respect trained skill, so Twain judges a novelist in the vocabulary of a music lesson.

Exam tip: a diction claim scores when it names a family of words. “Twain uses negative diction” is worth nothing: every insulting essay uses negative diction.

Model analysis

Twain judges a novelist in a music teacher's vocabulary, and the transfer is the argument. “Flat and sharp,” “the tune,” “word-musician” come from a discipline where accuracy is not a matter of taste and an error is audible to everyone in the room. Moved onto prose, that vocabulary turns taste into pitch: a reader who might have defended Cooper's plots has nothing left to defend, since no one calls a wrong note an interpretation. “The approximate word” then lands as a diagnosis rather than an insult, which is why it is harder to answer.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Twain's choice of the word “approximate” rather than a plainer one such as “wrong.” Quote no more than six words, and explain how the choice works on readers taught to admire Cooper.

Show a model paragraph

“Approximate” is the most damaging word in the passage because it sounds generous. A wrong word is a mistake, and mistakes can be rare; an approximate one is a setting, and Twain has already shown this ear “keeps near the tune” every time out. The adjective grants Cooper competence and removes precision in one breath, which is exactly the trade a reader trained to call him a classic can accept without feeling mocked. Having accepted it, that reader has conceded the case.

Why it scores: one word, quoted short, with commentary on how the choice works for this audience, the “how,” not the “that,” Row B rewards.

Lesson 8.2 · Unit 8 · CED skills 7.A and 8.A

Figurative comparison: what a metaphor asks the reader to accept

A comparison is an argument in miniature. Call a nation a body and you have smuggled in claims (that it can sicken, that it has one will, that a diseased part might be cut off to save the rest), and the reader grants all three before noticing anything was proposed. That is why figurative language is on this exam: it moves claims past the place where readers argue.

Key moves
  • Metaphor and simile: an identity versus a stated likeness. A simile holds the two things apart; a metaphor merges them and asks for more.
  • Analogy: a comparison used as proof. Test it by finding where the two things stop matching.
  • Personification: human agency given to a thing, placing feeling or responsibility where there was none.
  • Extended metaphor: one comparison carried far enough to become the structure of a passage.
  • The vehicle's baggage: ask what a comparison imports and what it hides. A dead metaphor (grasp an idea) imports nothing.
Passage

Source: Ralph Waldo Emerson, Nature, chapter I, Boston, 1836.

In the woods too, a man casts off his years, as the snake his slough, and at what period soever of life, is always a child. In the woods, is perpetual youth. … Standing on the bare ground, — my head bathed by the blithe air, and uplifted into infinite space, — all mean egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eye-ball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or particle of God.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a former Unitarian minister who had resigned his pulpit four years earlier. Occasion, a short book published anonymously that became the founding statement of American Transcendentalism. Audience, New England readers whose habits of belief were formed by sermons. Subject, nature. Purpose controls every figure: Emerson has to make an ordinary field do the work of a sacrament, without a church, a priest, or a text.

Exam tip: naming the figure earns nothing. “Emerson uses a metaphor” is a label; the claim is what the metaphor asks the reader to grant.

Model analysis

Emerson's comparisons rise in price, and the order is the persuasion. A man casting off his years “as the snake his slough” is a simile: two things held apart, nothing surrendered, a reader free to admire the likeness and keep his distance. “I become a transparent eye-ball” is a metaphor and a resignation: the body drops out, and what is left is an organ of reception with nothing of its own to say. Having taken the cheap comparison, the reader has little ground to refuse the expensive one, and the claim quietly shifts from nature resembling God to a man on a common being a channel for him.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Emerson's decision to compare himself to an eye rather than to a listener or a worshipper. Quote no more than six words, and explain how the choice serves his purpose.

Show a model paragraph

Choosing an eye lets Emerson describe worship without a congregation. Hearing requires a speaker, and a speaker implies a pulpit and an institution standing between a person and what he is told; seeing requires only light and a man in the open, which is exactly the arrangement Emerson is arguing for. Making the eye “transparent” removes even the observer's personality, so “I am nothing; I see all” reads as reception rather than opinion. A reader who would have resisted a new doctrine is handed a walk instead.

Why it scores: a claim about one choice, a short quotation, and commentary that explains how the choice removes the audience's usual grounds for objecting.

Lesson 8.3 · Unit 8 · CED skills 7.A and 8.A

Syntax I: sentence length, parallelism, and antithesis

Syntax is the order and shape of words in a sentence, and it carries meaning the words alone do not. Three long sentences and then a four-word one: the short sentence sounds like a verdict, whatever it happens to say. Repeat a grammatical pattern down a list and the items begin to look like members of one family: a claim the writer never has to prove.

Key moves
  • Length is relative: a short sentence lands because of what came before it. Nothing about eight words is emphatic on its own.
  • Parallelism: repeated grammatical form for items offered as equivalent.
  • Anaphora: the same opening words repeated across clauses, so the reader hears a pattern instead of separate facts.
  • Antithesis: opposed ideas in matched structure; it compresses, and it asserts that the two are genuine opposites.
  • Cumulative and periodic: adding detail after the main clause, or withholding the main clause until the end.
Passage

Source: Thomas Jefferson and the Second Continental Congress, Declaration of Independence, Philadelphia, July 4, 1776, from the list of grievances.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good. … He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only. … He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people. … He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a congress of colonial delegates publishing over Jefferson's edited draft. Occasion, the vote for independence taken two days earlier. Audience, the “candid world” the document names, Britain's rivals in Europe, and colonists not yet committed. Subject, the conduct of the king. Purpose runs the syntax: an indictment has to look like a record, so every count begins the same way and none is argued.

Exam tip: counting devices is not analysis. A parallel list scores when you can say what the grammar makes a reader assume.

Model analysis

The grievances are not argued; they are accumulated, and the grammar is what turns accumulation into proof. Every count opens “He has,” so the subject never changes and the reader stops meeting separate facts and starts meeting a habit. One overreach could be an error of policy; a column of them, all cut to the same shape, reads as design. The antithesis inside one count finishes the job: a right “inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only” sorts every possible position into two in eight words, leaving the king nowhere to stand that is not the second one.

Write it

Write one paragraph about the decision to begin every grievance with “He has.” Quote no more than six words, and explain what the repetition does to a reader who has not yet decided whether to support independence.

Show a model paragraph

Keeping one man in the subject position for twenty-seven sentences does work that a narrative would otherwise have to do. An undecided reader can dispute any single item (taxes, judges, troops), but the form never lets him dispute one at a time, because each new clause arrives as further evidence of something the previous clauses already settled. By the time the list reaches “plundered our seas,” the question has changed from whether the king acted badly to how long he has been at it. Parallelism argues that the items belong together, and belonging together is the entire case.

Why it scores: it claims something about a syntactic choice, quotes briefly, and explains the effect on a specific undecided audience rather than naming the device.

Lesson 8.4 · Unit 8 · CED skills 7.B and 8.B

Syntax II: what a clause demotes, and what position emphasizes

A clause has a subject and a verb. If it can stand alone it is independent; if a word like because, although, when or who hooks it to something else it is dependent. That distinction is a ranking system. Whatever sits in the main clause is what your sentence is about, and everything else has been demoted to explanation: however important it is.

Key moves
  • Independent clause: the assertion a reader carries away.
  • Subordination demotes: “Although the evidence was thin, the jury convicted” and “Although the jury convicted, the evidence was thin” hold the same facts and make opposite points.
  • Coordination equalizes: and, but, so join clauses as equals: these things are of one rank.
  • Placement: end position is the emphatic one in English; front position frames what follows. Move the clause and you move the point.
  • Relative clause: who, which, that attaches an identification to a noun, and can carry a whole claim without ever asserting it.
Passage

Source: Ida B. Wells, “Lynch Law in America,” The Arena, January 1900.

Our country's national crime is lynching. It is not the creature of an hour, the sudden outburst of uncontrolled fury, or the unspeakable brutality of an insane mob. It represents the cool, calculating deliberation of intelligent people who openly avow that there is an “unwritten law” that justifies them in putting human beings to death without complaint under oath, without trial by jury, without opportunity to make defense, and without right of appeal.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a journalist driven out of Memphis in 1892 for an editorial, who had spent the years since compiling records of these killings and lecturing on them in Britain. Occasion, an essay in a national reform monthly. Audience, Northern readers who deplored lynching but explained it as a spasm of mob feeling. Subject, the so-called unwritten law. Audience controls the grammar: one assumption has to be removed before anything else can be said.

Exam tip: when a question asks the function of a clause, answer with a verb; it concedes, it delays, it demotes, it redefines. “It adds detail” is not a function.

Model analysis

Wells wins the argument in the space between two main clauses. “It is not the creature of an hour” and “It represents the cool, calculating deliberation of intelligent people” are both independent, both about the same subject, and set down one after the other with no connective at all. The refusal to subordinate is the choice: had she written that although lynching seems a sudden outburst it is in fact deliberate, the excuse would have survived as a concession. Instead the first sentence deletes the excuse and the second replaces it, and a reader is given no clause in which to keep the older explanation.

Write it

Write one paragraph about Wells's decision to put her charge in a relative clause, “intelligent people who openly avow”, rather than in a sentence of its own. Quote no more than six words, and explain the effect on a reader who imagines lynching as mob frenzy.

Show a model paragraph

Hanging the admission on a relative clause lets Wells treat it as a fact about these people rather than as a charge she must prove. “Who openly avow” identifies them the way a profession identifies a witness; the sentence's actual assertion is the calm noun phrase before it, and the avowal arrives as description the reader never gets a chance to contest. For someone who pictures a crowd out of control, the grammar is the argument: people who announce a rule in advance are not out of control, and Wells never has to say so.

Why it scores: it names a clause-level choice, quotes three words, and explains how the placement changes what the audience is allowed to dispute.

Lesson 8.5 · Unit 8 · CED skills 7.A and 8.A

Tone and irony: attitude, and the gap that gives it away

Tone is the writer's attitude toward the subject and toward you, and it is produced by everything in the last four lessons: the words, the comparisons, the shape of the sentences. That is why “the tone is serious” is never analysis: tone is the result somebody else already produced. Irony is what happens when a writer's stated position and actual position come apart and the reader is expected to notice.

Key moves
  • Tone: nameable with a precise adjective. Not “negative” but mock-avuncular, clinical, weary, exasperated.
  • Verbal irony: saying one thing and meaning close to its opposite; it only works when writer and reader share a standard.
  • Satire: irony aimed at a target, with the intention of correcting it.
  • Understatement and hyperbole: the same gap measured downward or upward; both are irony with a direction.
  • Signals: the giveaway is a mismatch: a solemn form on a trivial subject, an exception that swallows its rule, a reason that gives the game away.
Passage

Source: Mark Twain, “Advice to Youth,” an address prepared for an audience of young people, 1882.

Always obey your parents, when they are present. This is the best policy in the long run, because if you don't they will make you. Most parents think they know better than you do, and you can generally make more by humoring that superstition than you can by acting on your own judgment. Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any, also to strangers, and sometimes to others.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a humorist of forty-seven asked to supply moral instruction. Occasion, a talk whose organizers, by his own account, requested something didactic and instructive. Audience, the young people in front of him and, behind them, the adults who arranged the evening and own the maxims. Subject, the standard advice given to children. Audience is the key, because it is double: the target is not the person addressed.

Exam tip: in an ironic passage, name both audiences. Commentary that misses the target has read the passage straight, and Row B will show it.

Model analysis

Twain's irony runs on qualifiers that arrive one beat too late. “Always obey your parents” is the maxim itself, untouched, and the exception that ruins it, “when they are present”, is attached where it does the least damage to the rhythm and the most to the sense. The pattern holds: obedience is recommended, then justified on the ground that disobedience is unenforceable; respect is extended to superiors “if you have any.” Every sentence keeps the manners of moral instruction while swapping its reasons for prudential ones, and the joke is that the substitution fits so neatly.

Write it

Write one paragraph making a claim about Twain's use of the word “superstition” in a passage of advice to children. Quote no more than six words, and explain what the choice reveals about his attitude toward the adults in the room.

Show a model paragraph

“Superstition” belongs to the vocabulary of enlightenment, and Twain drops it into a nursery maxim. A parent's belief that he knows “better than you do” is not called love, or experience, or even error; it is filed with beliefs held without evidence, which is the category a rationalist reserves for other people's religions. The advice that follows is worse for being practical: humor the superstition because it pays better. A child is being taught to manage an adult, and the adults who asked for something instructive are listening to a description of themselves.

Why it scores: one word, quoted short, with commentary that identifies the real target of the satire instead of reporting what the passage says.

Lesson 8.6 · Unit 8 · CED skills 7.C and 8.C

Punctuation and mechanics: the colon, the dash, the semicolon, the full stop

Punctuation is not housekeeping. A mark tells a reader how fast to go, what to expect next, and how two ideas are related, which makes every mark a small decision about emphasis. Skill 7.C asks you to explain how grammar and mechanics contribute to clarity and effect; the writing questions in Section I test the same thing by handing you a draft that is punctuated adequately and asking for better.

Key moves
  • Colon: announces: what follows delivers what the clause before it promised.
  • Dash: interrupts. A pair encloses an aside the sentence could live without; a single dash swerves, and the swerve is where the voice is.
  • Semicolon: balances two independent clauses as one thought, and declines to say which causes which.
  • Fragment: a deliberate incomplete sentence; it reads as a choice only when the sentences around it are complete.
  • The early full stop: a period arriving sooner than the reader expects, ending a passage on a short sentence.
Passage

Source: G. K. Chesterton, “A Piece of Chalk,” Tremendous Trifles, 1909; first printed in the London Daily News, 1905.

I remember one splendid morning, all blue and silver, in the summer holidays when I reluctantly tore myself away from the task of doing nothing in particular, and put on a hat of some sort and picked up a walking-stick, and put six very bright-coloured chalks in my pocket. … She had a great deal; in fact, she had too much; and she mistook the purpose and the rationale of the existence of brown paper. … I stood there in a trance of pleasure, realising that this Southern England is not only a grand peninsula, and a tradition and a civilisation; it is something even more admirable. It is a piece of chalk.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a young English journalist with a weekly column built out of small subjects. Occasion, a walk on the chalk downs of Sussex to draw with colored chalks on brown paper. Audience, readers of a daily paper, reading at speed. Subject, chalk. Purpose shapes the mechanics: a column has no room for the transitions a long essay uses, so the marks carry the structure.

Exam tip: on Section I writing questions the right revision is the one that accomplishes the stated goal, not the one that sounds best. Read the goal twice, then the options.

Model analysis

Chesterton's semicolons connect ideas without arguing for the connection. “She had a great deal; in fact, she had too much; and she mistook the purpose” sets three steps in one breath and refuses to rank them: no because, no therefore, just this and then this. A reader is carried from quantity to excess to misunderstanding, and accepts the chain because nothing was ever asserted about it. The ending works by the opposite means. A clause stacking grand nouns (peninsula, tradition, civilisation) is held in balance by one more semicolon, and then the essay stops at six words. The period lands before the reader is ready, and that is what makes the identification sound like a discovery.

Write it

Write one paragraph about Chesterton's choice to end on a six-word sentence after a long, accumulating one. Quote no more than six words, and explain how the punctuation controls the reader's experience of the ending.

Show a model paragraph

The last sentence earns its force from the punctuation of the one before it. That sentence piles up the largest words available and holds them with a semicolon, promising something larger still: England is “something even more admirable.” A colon there would have announced the payoff and let the reader brace; the full stop makes him turn a corner blind. What is waiting is a piece of chalk: small, concrete, and the same object that was in Chesterton's pocket on the first page. The mechanics stage a letdown, and the letdown is the argument.

Why it scores: the claim is about a mark and a sentence boundary rather than the subject, and the commentary explains the sequence of effects a reader undergoes.

Unit 8 review · 10 multiple-choice

Unit 8 review: diction, syntax, tone, and punctuation

Six reading questions on one passage from Paine and four revision questions on short student drafts: name the choice a writer made before you look at the options, and read all four rationales once you have clicked, not only the one for your answer.

Multiple choice

  1. Source: Thomas Paine, The American Crisis, number I, Philadelphia, December 1776.

    These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value.

    In the passage above, the phrases “summer soldier” and “sunshine patriot” primarily

    The verb in the same sentence is “shrink,” and no praise ever arrives. Both words are drawn from fair weather, and fair-weather service is the thing Paine is naming; reading a connotation backward usually means the surrounding verb went unread.

    Nothing in either phrase points at skill: a summer soldier may have fought through three summers. The nouns name a condition a man attaches to his service, and a condition is not a gap in training that drilling could close.

    Correct. “Summer” and “sunshine” both bind a man to the weather he will turn out in, and a man defined by his weather is a kind of person, not the holder of a position. That is how Paine takes the argument away from the reader before it starts: a man who goes home in December is not deciding anything about the war, he is showing what he always was.

    Paine names no unit, no officer, and no date of discharge, and the phrases would lose all their force if he had. They work because any reader can be measured against them, which a roster of expiring enlistments could never do.

  2. In the passage above, the comparison in “Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered” primarily

    Correct. The ground of the comparison is stated in the sentence itself, “not easily conquered”, so the likeness is about difficulty, not about evil. Paine is answering men who have found the war harder than they expected, and the figure tells them that the hardness is the measure of the opponent, which is a very different thing from a warning.

    Wickedness is not what the sentence compares. The clause names one shared property, the labor of conquering, and a simile only claims the likeness it states; supplying the associations you happen to have for the vehicle is the commonest way to overread one.

    “Not easily” is not “not at all,” and the very next clause offers a “consolation” that ends in triumph. A reading that makes the passage despair contradicts the sentence it sits inside.

    Even if the figure is familiar, an answer about the audience's churchgoing describes the readers rather than the argument. The comparison would work on an unbeliever, because what it borrows from hell is its reputation for costing everything.

  3. In the passage above, the matched clauses “the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph” primarily

    Defeat is never contemplated. The clause pair assumes the triumph and asks only how glorious it will be, and the words before it, “we have this consolation”, are the grammar of reassurance, not of preparation for loss.

    These are not two benefits but the two terms of one ratio, tied together by the repeated “the … the …” construction. Reading a proportion as a list throws away the only claim the construction actually makes.

    Nothing here retracts anything. Both halves are comparatives on a single scale, and a scale that runs from hard to harder never says that any point on it is easy.

    Correct. Matched grammar asserts a matched relationship (as one term rises, so does the other), and the assertion is never defended, because the shape carries it. That is why a soldier reading this in a December camp cannot use his own suffering as an argument for going home: the sentence has already spent it on the other side.

  4. In the passage above, Paine's decision to place the clause about the man who “stands it now” after “but,” at the end of the sentence, primarily

    “But” is a coordinating conjunction, and coordination ranks clauses as equals; nothing in the sentence is demoted. Subordination would have required “although” or “while,” and Paine used neither.

    Correct. English puts its weight at the end of a sentence, and the last words here are “the love and thanks of man and woman.” A reader who began the sentence hearing about quitters finishes it hearing what he himself could be owed, and the order is what makes the second half feel like the point.

    The sentence holds the two apart: those who “shrink” and “he that stands it now” are the two sides of the contrast “but” announces. Collapsing them into one group empties the distinction the whole sentence is built on.

    A periodic sentence delays its main clause to the end; this one delivers a main clause immediately, the summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will shrink, and then adds a second. Naming a device the sentence does not use is a quick way to lose a syntax item.

  5. Which of the following best describes the tone of the passage?

    Nothing is weighed here. Every sentence takes a side, and several of them judge men's characters; an analyst setting out both positions does not call anybody a sunshine patriot.

    There is blame in the passage, but it falls on the men who are leaving, and the sentence turns at “but” to what the man who stays deserves. A tone word has to fit the whole passage, not one clause pulled out of it.

    Correct. Paine concedes hardship in every sentence (the times try men, tyranny is not easily conquered, the conflict is hard), and never once comforts anyone by shrinking the task. Naming the tone precisely means naming both halves at once: unsparing about the cost, steady about the claim.

    The passage means exactly what it says, and irony requires a gap between a stated position and an actual one. The nearest thing to a joke, “summer soldier,” is a straight insult rather than a wink.

  6. In the passage above, the colon in the final sentence primarily serves to

    Correct. A colon promises delivery: the clause in front of it reports what people do, esteem too lightly what they obtained too cheap, and the clause behind it supplies the rule that accounts for it. A semicolon would have set the two side by side and left the reader to make the connection; the colon says the connection is already made.

    A comma and a colon do different jobs, and this colon joins two statements that could each stand as a sentence. Treating punctuation as pacing alone is exactly the habit the exam's mechanics questions are built to catch.

    Nothing is listed. Colons often introduce lists, but what follows this one is a full independent clause with its own subject and verb: “it is dearness only that gives every thing its value.”

    Reversal is the work of “but” and “yet,” both of which Paine uses earlier in the passage. The two clauses joined by the colon agree with each other; the second says why the first is true.

  7. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Ida B. Wells.

    (1) In “Lynch Law in America,” published in January 1900, Ida B. Wells takes the word her Northern readers were using and refuses it. (2) In the reform press a mob was a thing that boiled over, and an outburst has no author. (3) Wells answers with “cool, calculating deliberation,” a phrase carried over from the vocabulary of business and planning. (4) The change of vocabulary affects the killings. (5) What had been a spasm becomes a policy, and a policy has people who decided on it.

    The writer wants sentence 4 to name precisely what the change of vocabulary does, in terms sentence 5 can then develop. Which version of sentence 4 best accomplishes this goal?

    “Affects” names no direction and no result; it is the verb a writer reaches for when the analysis has not been done yet. Since sentence 5 goes on to describe a specific change of category, sentence 4 should say which change is coming.

    Correct. “Reclassifies” states the operation, and “decided on rather than … happen” hands sentence 5 the two categories it needs, spasm and policy. Choosing the exact verb is the shortest route to commentary that explains how a choice works instead of reporting that a choice was made.

    Intensity is not the claim. Wells's phrase is colder than the word it replaces, not more lurid, and the paragraph is about what kind of act a lynching is, not about how bad it sounds.

    Praise for a writer's skill is not analysis of the writing, and this sentence could be attached to any author on any page, which is a reliable sign that it explains nothing about this one.

  8. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about the Declaration of Independence.

    (1) The charges against the king run to twenty-seven counts, and not one of them is argued. (2) One count says he refused his assent to wholesome laws. (3) Another says he dissolved representative houses. (4) A third says he plundered the colonists' seas. (5) Taken one at a time any of these could be answered, but set in a column they stop reading as complaints and start reading as a record.

    The writer wants to combine sentences 2, 3, and 4 so that the repeated grammatical pattern does the work sentence 5 describes. Which of the following versions best accomplishes this goal?

    Keeping “One count says … another says … a third says” leaves the student's counting in front of the king's acting, so the reader hears a list being tallied rather than a man behaving. The inserted aside then breaks the pattern at precisely the moment sentence 5 says the pattern should be building.

    Compressing three clauses into three nouns deletes the verbs, and with them the actor. Sentence 5 depends on a reader meeting the same man doing the same kind of thing three times over, which a list of topics cannot deliver.

    “Although” ranks the items, demoting two of the three, and promises a contrast that the three counts do not contain. Subordination is the wrong tool when the claim is that the counts belong together as equals.

    Correct. Three clauses of identical shape, each opening on the same subject, are what make separate grievances look like one habit: the effect sentence 5 names. The semicolons hold them inside one sentence, so the column is visible at a glance instead of being spread over three full stops.

  9. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Emerson's Nature.

    (1) In the first chapter of Nature, published in 1836, Emerson moves from a simile to a metaphor within a few lines. (2) A man casts off his years “as the snake his slough,” and the two things stay held apart. (3) Although the comparison costs the reader nothing, he is only asked to admire a likeness. (4) By the time “I become a transparent eye-ball” arrives, that reader has already taken the cheaper version. (5) The order of the two figures is the persuasion.

    The writer wants sentence 3 to put the idea sentences 4 and 5 depend on, that the first comparison is cheap, in the sentence's independent clause. Which version of sentence 3 best accomplishes this goal?

    This is the draft as it stands, and it buries the point: the cheapness sits in an “although” clause, the slot a writer uses for material the reader is invited to set aside. Sentences 4 and 5 then lean on something the paragraph never quite asserted.

    Correct. The reason goes into the dependent clause and the claim into the independent one, so “costs him nothing” is both the assertion and the last thing in the sentence. “Because” also names the actual relationship between the halves, which “although” had backwards.

    Swapping the clauses keeps the wrong idea in the main slot and keeps “although,” which still promises a contrast these two statements do not have. A likeness admired at no cost is one situation, not two opposed ones.

    Coordination makes the two statements equal in rank and says nothing about how they are related. The paragraph needs one of them to explain the other, and “and” is precisely the connective that declines to choose.

  10. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about G. K. Chesterton's “A Piece of Chalk.”

    (1) A weekly column has no room for the transitions a long essay can afford. (2) Chesterton's marks carry the structure instead. (3) “She had a great deal; in fact, she had too much; and she mistook the purpose and the rationale of the existence of brown paper.” (4) Three steps arrive in one breath, and no word ranks them. (5) A reader accepts the chain because nothing about it was ever asserted.

    The writer wants the punctuation between sentences 1 and 2 to show that sentence 2 states what follows from sentence 1, without adding a connective word. Which of the following best accomplishes this goal?

    Two independent clauses joined by a comma make a comma splice, and a revision that introduces an error cannot be the answer however well it reads. The mark also says nothing at all about how the clauses are related, which is what the goal asks for.

    A semicolon balances two clauses as one thought and deliberately declines to say which one produces the other. That is the right mark when a writer wants both held at once; here the stated goal is to show the second clause following from the first.

    Correct. A colon announces that what comes after it delivers what the clause before it promised, so the second clause reads as the consequence of the first: no room for transitions, therefore marks doing the joining. And it accomplishes that without a connective word, which is the condition the goal sets.

    A dash interrupts. A single dash swerves into an aside or an afterthought, which gives the second clause the sound of something tacked on rather than something that follows, and the informality is out of key with the sentences around it.

Lesson 9.1 · Unit 9 · CED skills 1.A, 3.A, 5.A, 7.A

The reading questions: six asks, however they are worded

Twenty-three to twenty-five of the forty-five questions hang on nonfiction passages, and they look more varied than they are. Strip the wording away and the same six asks come back. The work is recognition: decide which one you have, say what the answer must contain, and only then look down. Options are written to be attractive; the stem is written to be exact.

Key moves
  • Rhetorical situation: “best understood as addressed to…” Answer from the headnote and the opening lines, not the topic.
  • The writer's claim: the disputable sentence, not the subject.
  • Function of a part: “primarily serves to.” What the sentence does for the paragraph, not what it says.
  • Line of reasoning: the order the claims arrive in, and why that order.
  • Effect of a choice: wrong answers name the choice correctly and the effect wrongly, so check the effect.
  • Purpose of a revision: test the proposed sentence against the stated goal and nothing else.
Passage

Source: G. K. Chesterton, “On Running After One's Hat,” All Things Considered, 1908.

There is a current impression that it is unpleasant to have to run after one's hat. Why should it be unpleasant to the well-ordered and pious mind? Not merely because it is running, and running exhausts one. The same people run much faster in games and sports. The same people run much more eagerly after an uninteresting, little leather ball than they will after a nice silk hat. There is an idea that it is humiliating to run after one's hat; and when people say it is humiliating they mean that it is comic. … Man is a very comic creature, and most of the things he does are comic — eating, for instance.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a young English journalist known for arguing in a comic register. Occasion, a book gathering his newspaper columns. Audience, readers who assume cheerfulness is a temperament you either have or lack. Purpose controls the passage: he wants that assumption overturned, and he does it by taking an absurd example perfectly seriously.

Exam tip: “primarily serves to” asks for a job, not a summary. An option that restates the sentence is wrong by construction.

Model analysis

The exam builds this from the leather-ball sentence: In context, the comparison primarily serves to… Name the job before you look down. The sentence follows “running exhausts one” and deletes exhaustion as an explanation: the same people run harder, and after something worth less. It kills a rival cause. Predicted answer: it rules out an explanation the reader might otherwise accept. Now take the option closest to that. “Illustrates the writer's fondness for sport” is true in a small way and answers nothing; “demonstrates the humiliation of chasing a hat” restates the paragraph.

Write it

The last sentence of the excerpt is what the exam turns into a function question. Write one paragraph naming what it primarily serves to do, quoting no more than six words, and explain how the move sets up the argument that follows.

Show a model paragraph

The sentence concedes the charge and then widens it until the charge stops meaning anything. Chesterton has granted that chasing a hat looks “humiliating” because it is comic, and instead of denying it he agrees, man is “a very comic creature”, and hangs eating on the same hook. If the most routine act of staying alive is comic, comedy is no longer a mark against an activity but the ordinary condition of doing anything. The objection is not refuted, it is dissolved, which clears the ground for the claim that the comic things are the ones worth doing.

Why it scores: it answers with a job the sentence performs, quotes short, and explains how the move works on the argument rather than reporting what it says.

Lesson 9.2 · Unit 9 · CED skills 4.A, 6.A, 6.B, 8.B

The writing questions: answer the stated goal, not your taste

The other twenty to twenty-two questions in Section I hand you a student draft with numbered sentences and ask you to revise it, and they tell you what revising means. Every stem states a goal, and that goal is the answer key: three of the four options are usually better writing than the original, and only one does the stated job.

Key moves
  • Add evidence: the option carrying a fact, a number, or a source, not a stronger adjective.
  • Sharpen the claim: make the sentence arguable and specific; a summary is not a claim.
  • Improve the transition: the option that names the relationship, not the one that adds “Also.”
  • Combine for emphasis: subordinate the lesser idea; the main clause is what the reader hears.
  • Delete the irrelevant: decide yes or no first, then find the option whose reason matches yours.
  • The test: cover the options and say aloud what a sentence doing that job would have to contain.
Passage

Source: Standard Time Act, an act of Congress approved March 19, 1918, section 3 (the daylight-saving section).

That at two o'clock antemeridian of the last Sunday in March of each year the standard time of each zone shall be advanced one hour, and at two o'clock antemeridian of the last Sunday in October in each year the standard time of each zone shall be returned to the mean astronomical time of the degree of longitude governing said zone, so that between the last Sunday in March at two o'clock antemeridian and the last Sunday in October at two o'clock antemeridian in each year the standard time in each zone shall be one hour in advance of the mean astronomical time of the degree of longitude governing each zone respectively.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, the Sixty-fifth Congress, writing law rather than prose. Occasion, the spring of 1918, with fuel treated as a war resource; the same act created the legal time zones. Audience, railroads, courts, and every clock in the country: readers who must act on it identically. Purpose explains the style: “two o'clock antemeridian” appears four times because a pronoun is a place where a lawsuit can start.

Exam tip: the writing questions reward fitness, not elegance. A statute is the extreme case: repetitive on purpose, because its purpose is to be unmisreadable.

Model analysis

Here is a student draft about that law, numbered the way the exam prints one.

(1) In March 1918 Congress passed the Standard Time Act, which set the country's legal time zones and moved the clocks forward for part of the year. (2) The change was sold as a way to save fuel during the First World War. (3) Farmers hated it. (4) Congress repealed the daylight-saving section in 1919 over President Wilson's veto. (5) Wilson had been a college professor. (6) Daylight saving did not return nationwide until the Second World War.

The stem: The writer wants to add evidence supporting the claim in sentence 3. Which of the following, placed after sentence 3, best accomplishes this goal? Name the job first. Sentence 3 asserts a group's opposition and supplies nothing, so the answer must contain who, how many, or what they did. “Farmers were bitterly and famously opposed” is a livelier sentence and zero evidence, because “bitterly” is an adjective. A sentence naming farm organizations and the years they pressed Congress for repeal is evidence. And note what the goal does not license: sentence 5 is deadweight, but this question did not ask you to cut it.

Write it

Same draft, new stem: The writer is considering deleting sentence 5. Should the writer make this change? Write one paragraph answering yes or no, defending the reason, and naming what would have to be true of the paragraph for the other answer to win.

Show a model paragraph

Delete it. The paragraph's line of reasoning runs from what the law did, to how it was sold, to who fought it, to how it ended; Wilson enters only as the president whose veto was overridden, and his former profession bears on none of those claims. The test is whether the next sentence needs it, and sentence 6 follows from the repeal just as cleanly without it. Keeping sentence 5 would make sense only if the paragraph were arguing that expert authority failed to save the measure: a claim this draft never makes and would need evidence for.

Why it scores: it answers the question asked, grounds the reason in the paragraph's line of reasoning rather than in style, and names the condition under which the opposite answer would be right.

Lesson 9.3 · Unit 9 · CED skills 1.A, 5.A, 6.A, 7.A

Rhetorical analysis in forty minutes: spend the first eight well

Most of what goes wrong in a rhetorical analysis essay goes wrong before the writing starts. Students read once, begin, find their real idea in the third paragraph, and never go back to fix the thesis. Budget the time instead: five minutes reading and marking, three planning, thirty writing, two checking. The thirty are only as good as the eight in front of them.

Key moves
  • Five to read: once for the argument, then mark where the writer changes strategy. Those seams are where the choices are.
  • Three to plan: pick two or three choices you can explain, in passage order. Two developed beats six named.
  • Thesis last: name the purpose and the route: to this audience, the writer does A and then B in order to Z.
  • Thirty to write: one choice per paragraph; claim, a short quotation, then commentary longer than the evidence.
  • Two to check: every paragraph should end on your sentence, not the passage's.
  • The trap: summary wearing the shape of analysis. If the sentence reports what the passage says, it is not commentary.
Passage

Source: Theodore Roosevelt, “The New Nationalism,” Osawatomie, Kansas, August 31, 1910.

I stand for the square deal. But when I say that I am for the square deal, I mean not merely that I stand for fair play under the present rules of the game, but that I stand for having those rules changed so as to work for a more substantial equality of opportunity and of reward for equally good service. … The essence of any struggle for healthy liberty has always and must always be to take from some one man or class of men the right to enjoy power, or wealth, or position, or immunity, which has not been earned by service to his or their fellows.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, an ex-president two years out of office and openly at odds with his successor. Occasion, the dedication of a park honoring John Brown, before a crowd heavy with Civil War veterans. Audience, Republicans he expected to split and progressives he meant to gather. Purpose governs everything here: he is not defining fairness, he is claiming the standing to rewrite the rules.

Exam tip: readers award Row B its fourth point only when the commentary explains how a choice works, not that the writer made it.

Model analysis

Three minutes of planning on this passage produce two marked choices: the sporting metaphor (rules, game, fair play), and the phrase “earned by service,” which quietly reclassifies wealth as a wage. Two is enough. Metaphor first, because it builds the frame the second choice then spends. The thesis follows from the plan: Speaking to men who had already fought once to change the country's terms, Roosevelt casts redistribution as a rules change inside a game everyone accepts, then redefines unearned wealth as something owed rather than owned, so that a radical program arrives sounding like a demand for an honest contest. Notice what that thesis refuses to do: it names no devices, and it could not have been written about any other passage.

Write it

Write the first body paragraph of that essay: the one on the sporting metaphor. Make a claim, quote no more than eight words, and explain how the metaphor works on veterans standing in a park named for John Brown. Give yourself eight minutes.

Show a model paragraph

Roosevelt makes redistribution sound like refereeing. He grants that the country is a contest run under “the present rules of the game,” a frame in which nobody's ownership is in question and only the rules are, and then asks for those rules to be “changed”: a request that would be unremarkable on a ballfield and is radical about property. For an audience that had once gone to war over whether the nation's terms could be rewritten, the metaphor does two jobs at once: it concedes that the game itself is legitimate, which keeps him inside the party he is straining, and it makes amending the terms sound like ordinary fair play rather than seizure. The frame is the concession that buys the demand.

Why it scores: one choice, a short quotation, and commentary that explains how the choice serves the purpose for this audience, the Row B “how.”

Lesson 9.4 · Unit 9 · CED skills 4.A and 6.A

Six sources, fifteen minutes: take the position first

There is one common way to lose this essay: spend the reading period understanding all six sources, then write a tour (Source A says this, Source B says that) with no argument for the sources to serve. Reverse the order. Take a position from the prompt alone in the first three minutes; after that the sources have jobs, and most of them are not needed.

Key moves
  • Minutes 1–3: read the prompt twice and write a position sentence before opening a single source.
  • Minutes 4–12: skim all six and mark each one supports, resists, or unused. You are sorting, not studying.
  • Minutes 13–15: order three supporting sources into a line of reasoning and choose the one you will concede.
  • Cite inside the sentence: “as Source B puts it.” Three is the floor; four, with one used against you, is the essay that scores.
  • Data and images are sources: a described table can carry a claim, and it is often the one that resists.
  • Argue, do not tour: if a topic sentence names a source instead of a claim, rewrite the topic sentence.
Passage

Source A: Thomas Jefferson, “A Bill for the More General Diffusion of Knowledge,” Virginia, 1779.

… experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms, those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny; and it is believed that the most effectual means of preventing this would be, to illuminate, as far as practicable, the minds of the people at large …

Source B: Northwest Ordinance, Article 3, adopted by the Confederation Congress, July 13, 1787.

Religion, morality, and knowledge, being necessary to good government and the happiness of mankind, schools and the means of education shall forever be encouraged.

Source C: Description of: a public-school enrollment table from an annual report of the US Bureau of Education.

Two columns of figures thirty years apart. Pupils enrolled in public elementary and secondary schools rise from roughly 6.9 million in 1870 to roughly 15.5 million in 1900. The share of children aged five to seventeen who were enrolled rises from about 57 percent to about 72 percent. The average school term lengthens from about 132 days to about 144.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Three speakers of different kinds: a legislator's unpassed bill, an act of Congress older than the Constitution, and a federal statistical office. Occasions: revolution, western settlement, and the annual accounting the Bureau owed Congress. Purpose is the split: the first two argue that schooling is a condition of self-government, while the Bureau only counts children, and an office reporting on the schools it promotes needs the count to read as progress.

Exam tip: a synthesis essay that cites every source rarely scores above Row B two. Readers reward selection: the sources you left out are part of the argument.

Model analysis

Position first, from the prompt alone: a republic may fairly require civic education of every child, but only where it pays for it. Now the sources take jobs. Source A supplies the grounds: Jefferson defends schooling not as opportunity but as defense, since power is “perverted … into tyranny” by slow operations and an illuminated public is the guard, which makes education a security measure a state may compel. Source B supplies the precedent and its limit: Congress wrote that schools “shall forever be encouraged,” and encouraged is not required. Source C is the one that resists, and it goes in on purpose. Three sources, one line of reasoning, and the resisting source folded in as the reason the position is qualified rather than as an obstacle to be dodged.

Write it

Write the concession paragraph of that essay: the one built on Source C. Make a claim, use at least two figures from the table, and explain why the numbers complicate the position without defeating it. Cite the source by letter.

Show a model paragraph

The strongest case against compulsory civic education is that the country has already run the experiment. Source C records enrollment climbing from roughly 6.9 million pupils in 1870 to roughly 15.5 million in 1900, and still only about 72 percent of children aged five to seventeen enrolled: a generation of legal obligation leaving more than a quarter of the age group outside the schoolhouse. A duty that a quarter of families cannot discharge is not obviously a duty. But the same table records the direction of travel, with terms lengthening from about 132 days to about 144, which is what an obligation looks like once money arrives behind it. The gap argues against unfunded mandates, not against the mandate.

Why it scores: it cites by letter, uses the quantitative source as evidence rather than decoration, and turns the objection into the reason for the qualification, the Row C move readers look for.

Lesson 9.5 · Unit 9 · CED skills 4.B, 4.C, 6.A

The argument essay: find the question inside the idea

The argument prompt hands you an idea, usually a sentence or two from somebody worth arguing with, and asks for your position. The mistake is treating the idea as a topic. A topic invites you to write everything you know; a prompt contains a question, and the question is always narrower than the idea. Find it, take a qualified position, and get three pieces of evidence on the page before you write a sentence of the essay.

Key moves
  • Find the question: turn the seed into something answerable yes or no, then answer it.
  • Three domains, two minutes: something read, something historical, something watched happen. Six words each, in the margin.
  • Qualification is the default: “to the extent that,” “except where.” A position that survives the obvious objection outscores a bolder one that does not.
  • Concede the real objection: the strongest version, and say what granting it costs you.
  • Specific beats general: one named case explained carries more than three gestured at.
  • Row C lives in the concession: sophistication comes from taking the other side seriously, not from an ornate final paragraph.
Passage

Source: Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Self-Reliance,” Essays: First Series, 1841: used here as a prompt seed, not as a passage to analyze.

Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. Society is a joint-stock company, in which the members agree, for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion. It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs. … Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist. … Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.

Rhetorical situation (SOAPS): Speaker, a former minister who had left the pulpit and made his living on the lecture circuit. Occasion, his first collected volume of essays. Audience, educated Northerners sitting inside the very institutions described: churches, colleges, reform societies. Purpose is the thing to hold: he is not describing conformity but pricing it, so the reader starts auditing what he has already traded away.

Exam tip: your evidence does not have to come from the seed. A prompt seed is a provocation, not a source to analyze: do not write a rhetorical analysis by mistake.

Model analysis

Run the process on this seed in two minutes. The idea is conformity; the question inside it is does belonging to a society necessarily cost a person independent judgment? Emerson answers yes without reservation, and a defensible position usually will not. Qualified position: societies extract conformity in rough proportion to what they supply, and the trade is worth making except where the group also claims the right to decide what is true. Evidence, three domains: from reading, Emerson's own joint-stock image, which concedes that the shareholder does get fed; from history, the 1918 Standard Time Act, which took every town's local noon and returned a railroad timetable that worked; from observation, the study group that converges on one wrong answer because nobody wants to be the person slowing it down. That is the skeleton, before a single sentence is drafted.

Write it

Write the concession paragraph for that position: the one where you grant Emerson the strongest version of his case. Use one specific piece of evidence, and end by naming what your own position gives up, not what his does.

Show a model paragraph

Emerson's case is strongest exactly where the cost is invisible. The shareholder in his “joint-stock company” never experiences the trade as a loss, because what he surrenders is surrendered before he is old enough to price it, and a person who has never held an unpopular view has no way to find out whether he could. That is a serious objection, and it lands on the weakest joint in my position, which assumes people can audit a bargain they were enrolled in as children. I will grant that the audit is rare and usually happens after the fact. What that costs me is the easy version of my claim: the trade can only be defended where the institution is willing to be argued with, not on the individual's freedom to walk away.

Why it scores: a real concession stated at full strength, one specific piece of evidence, and a closing sentence that says what the qualification costs; Row C sophistication rather than decoration.

Unit 9 review · 10 multiple-choice

Unit 9 review: Section I in miniature

Five reading questions on one passage from Lincoln and five revision questions on two student drafts: take it the way you will take the real thing, about thirteen minutes and no stopping, then go back and read all four rationales on every item rather than only the one for the answer you chose.

Multiple choice

  1. Source: Abraham Lincoln, address at the dedication of the Soldiers' National Cemetery, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, November 19, 1863.

    But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced.

    Which of the following best describes the rhetorical situation of the passage?

    The battle is months past and the men being spoken of are already buried: the passage says “the brave men, living and dead, who struggled here,” looking back at a field rather than forward to one. Dating a text by its subject instead of by its headnote is the most common rhetorical-situation error.

    The place is “here” and the speaker is inside the ceremony he is describing, which is why he has to explain what the ceremony cannot do. A later assessment would have no rite to refuse and no audience standing in front of it.

    Correct. The headnote gives a cemetery dedication in November 1863, and a crowd at such a ceremony expects the dead to be honored by the occasion. Lincoln tells them the honoring was finished by the men in the ground, which is why the passage ends by assigning work rather than offering consolation.

    Nothing is counted and no campaign is explained; the passage weighs words against deeds instead of reporting either. An official accounting would also not address its readers as “us the living.”

  2. In the passage above, which of the following best states Lincoln's claim?

    Correct. The first sentence denies the ceremony's power, the second names who has already exercised it, and the last draws the consequence: “It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated.” The claim is the transfer of a duty, not the praise of the dead.

    The passage does say the ground is consecrated already, but stopping there drops the sentence the whole paragraph is built to reach. Any statement of the claim has to account for “rather,” the word that turns a denial into an assignment.

    This reverses the passage exactly: the world “will little note, nor long remember what we say here,” but “can never forget what they did here.” When a ranking arrives inside a single sentence, it is easy to read it backwards.

    Monuments and their adequacy never come up. Lincoln's objection is that no ceremony of any size could do this work, which is a stronger and different complaint from saying that this one was done too cheaply.

  3. In the passage above, the three refusals, “we can not dedicate,” “we can not consecrate,” “we can not hallow”, primarily serve to

    Humility is the surface of the move, not its work. A speaker who genuinely thought himself unequal to the occasion would not go on to assign his audience a task, and the passage grows more demanding after the refusals, not less.

    Timing appears nowhere in the passage, and the reason given for the refusal is the soldiers' own act, not the calendar. Supplying a reason the text never offers is the quickest way to lose a function item.

    The three verbs are not being sorted; they are being denied one after another, and their near-identity is the point. Naming a device correctly and then assigning it a job the passage never performs is the standard trap on this question type.

    Correct. Dedicating, consecrating, and hallowing are exactly what a dedication ceremony exists to do, so refusing all three at once leaves the occasion with nothing to perform. Once the rite is powerless, the duty must go somewhere, and the last sentence is waiting to receive it.

  4. In the passage above, which of the following best describes the line of reasoning?

    No principle opens the passage and nothing is illustrated by examples; the movement is denial, reason, ranking, consequence. Naming the job of each sentence before you read the options keeps a familiar essay shape from being imposed on a passage that lacks it.

    Correct. Sentence by sentence: the refusal, the reason (“have consecrated it”), the ranking of what is said below what was done, and then “rather,” which draws the consequence. The order is doing real work, because the audience has to believe the ceremony is powerless before it will accept a task in place of one.

    Nothing is narrated. The struggle is referred to twice and recounted neither time, and no event follows another in sequence: narration is a method of development this passage deliberately avoids.

    Only one possibility is ever entertained, and it is rejected in the first sentence. Nothing is weighed against anything else, which is part of why the closing assignment sounds inevitable rather than chosen.

  5. In the passage above, the contrast between what the world “will little note, nor long remember” and what “it can never forget” primarily

    Correct. Having refused to consecrate the ground, Lincoln next discounts the ceremony's words, his own included. With the rite set aside and the speech set aside, the only instrument of honor remaining is the conduct of the living, which is precisely the sentence that follows.

    The prediction is famously wrong, and its wrongness is beside the point: the question asks what the contrast does inside the argument. A true observation about a text's afterlife is not an answer about its effect.

    Nobody is flattered here. The audience's attendance is never mentioned, and the sentence lowers the standing of everything said at the ceremony rather than raising the standing of anyone at it.

    No other record of the soldiers' deeds is mentioned or implied. The contrast sets saying against doing, not one account of the doing against another.

  6. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Booker T. Washington's Atlanta Exposition address.

    (1) On September 18, 1895, Booker T. Washington spoke at the opening of the Cotton States and International Exposition in Atlanta. (2) Washington says something about what Black Southerners should do. (3) He first tells a parable: a ship in distress signals a passing vessel for water and is answered with the advice to cast down its bucket where it is, into a river mouth it had taken for the open sea. (4) Similarly, he turns that same advice on the white employers in the hall and asks them to cast down their bucket among the neighbors they already have. (5) The words do not change; only the listener does. (6) An audience that had just approved the advice for somebody else was in no position to refuse it.

    The writer wants sentence 2 to state a defensible claim that sentences 3 through 6 support. Which version of sentence 2 best accomplishes this goal?

    The biography is accurate and would serve a different paragraph, but it is not a claim about how the address works, and sentences 3 through 6 never mention Tuskegee. A topic sentence has to be provable by the paragraph it opens.

    This announces a subject instead of asserting anything, and nobody could disagree with it. A sentence no one can dispute leaves the rest of the paragraph with nothing to prove.

    The reception is a fact about the listeners, not about the design of the speech, and the draft never returns to it. Asking whether the following sentences bear on a candidate topic sentence is the fastest test available.

    Correct. It is arguable, it names the specific choice the paragraph goes on to trace, one parable used twice, and sentences 3 through 6 are exactly the proof it needs. A claim a paragraph can prove is one written to fit the evidence already on the page.

  7. In the draft above, the writer wants to add a sentence after sentence 5 that supports the claim in sentence 5 with specific evidence from the address. Which of the following best accomplishes this goal?

    Later reprinting is a fact about the speech's afterlife, while sentence 5 claims something about the speech itself. Evidence has to come from the text the claim is about.

    Correct. Sentence 5 claims that the wording holds while the addressee changes, and this supplies the repeated sentence and the two audiences it is aimed at. Evidence for a claim about repetition has to show the repetition.

    The context is accurate and would open a different paragraph well, but the purpose of the Exposition says nothing about how the address is worded. Relevant subject matter is not the same thing as relevant evidence.

    This restates sentence 5 and then calls it obvious. A revision that adds emphasis instead of facts never satisfies an add-evidence goal, however true the emphasis is.

  8. In the draft above, the writer wants the opening of sentence 4 to name the relationship the sentences actually have. Which version of the opening of sentence 4 best accomplishes this goal?

    “For example” promises that what follows is an instance of what came before, but the second application is not an example of the parable: it is a second use of it, on a different audience. A connective that promises the wrong relationship reads to a grader as broken reasoning rather than as style.

    “Nevertheless” promises a reversal, and nothing reverses: the advice is identical, which is the fact sentences 5 and 6 depend on. Connectives pointing the wrong direction are the most common error in this question type.

    Correct. The second application works only because the first was accepted, so the relationship is dependence, and naming it is what lets sentence 6's conclusion follow. The draft's “Similarly” records only that the two moves resemble each other and hides the fact that one enables the other.

    “In other words” announces a restatement, but sentence 4 does not say sentence 3 over again: it changes who is being spoken to, and that change of addressee is the whole argument.

  9. The following is a draft of a paragraph from a student's essay about Jacob Riis.

    (1) Jacob Riis published How the Other Half Lives in 1890, after more than a decade of police reporting in New York's tenement districts. (2) The book counts. (3) It measures. (4) It gives the rent charged for a room and the cubic feet of air allowed a sleeper, and then it stops counting and asks the reader to come up the stairs. (5) Riis later lectured with a stereopticon and became a friend of Theodore Roosevelt. (6) The arithmetic is what earns the invitation, since a reader who has accepted the figures cannot easily refuse what the figures were measuring.

    The writer wants to combine sentences 2 and 3 so that the pair reads as a single move and the turn in sentence 4 gains force. Which of the following versions best accomplishes this goal?

    Correct. Naming what the counting comes before makes the two verbs one move and sets the expectation that sentence 4 then breaks, at the moment the book stops counting. Emphasis comes from the order a combination imposes, not from the joining itself.

    Joining the clauses with “and” is a combination in grammar only: the same two facts arrive in the same order carrying the same weight, and the turn in sentence 4 lands exactly as it did before.

    “Although” invents a contrast between two statements that agree. Counting and measuring are the same activity in this paragraph, so subordinating one to the other misdescribes the reasoning.

    A relative clause pushes the counting into the background just when the paragraph needs both verbs at full strength. Coordination equalizes and subordination ranks, and here the two ideas belong on the same level.

  10. In the second draft above, the writer is considering deleting sentence 5. Should the writer make this change?

    The detail is accurate (Riis lectured for years with lantern slides, and Roosevelt became a friend and ally), so this deletes for a reason that does not exist. Deletion questions turn on relevance to the claim, not on truth.

    Correct. Sentences 2, 3, 4, and 6 trace one continuous movement from figures to invitation, and sentence 5 steps outside the book entirely, breaking the chain between 4 and 6. Unity asks whether a sentence extends the paragraph's one claim, however interesting it is on its own.

    Influence would matter if the paragraph were arguing that Riis was believed. It is arguing about the order of moves inside one book, and a later friendship makes that account no more likely.

    Completeness of a career is not a standard the paragraph set for itself; the standard it set is in sentence 6. Adding biography to satisfy a rule the draft never adopted is how paragraphs lose unity.

Synthesis 1 · 55 minutes (15 reading + 40 writing)

Communities across the United States support public libraries with local tax money, even as more of what a library once supplied has moved online. In an essay that synthesizes at least three of the six sources for support, argue a position on the role a publicly funded library should play in its community.

Directions

Spend the first fifteen minutes reading the six sources and planning; write for the next forty. Begin with a thesis that presents a defensible position, one the sources could be used to argue against, rather than a restatement of the prompt or an announcement that the issue is complicated. Synthesize at least three of the sources: every claim you make needs specific evidence from a source, and every piece of evidence needs commentary that explains how it supports your line of reasoning. Cite each source you use by its letter (Source A) or by the author or title named in the introductory information. The sources are there to support your argument, not to be toured one at a time; an essay that walks A through F in order almost never earns Row B above 2. Aim also for sophistication: put the sources genuinely in conversation, take on the one that resists you, or explain what your position costs and where it stops.

Source A

Source A: US Bureau of Education, Department of the Interior, Public Libraries in the United States of America: Their History, Condition, and Management. Special Report, Washington, 1876. Described, not quoted.

Description of the report: the Bureau surveyed every library in the country it could identify and printed the results as a single volume of more than a thousand pages, with chapters by working librarians on how a library should be housed, catalogued, and staffed. Its case for tax support rests on the common school. A child is taught to read and then released at fourteen, the report argues, and a free town library is the institution that keeps that ability in use afterward. Reading is treated as a public good (cheap to supply once, expensive to leave undone), and the case for a town library is tied throughout to the case for the town school.

Source B

Source B: Andrew Carnegie, "The Best Fields for Philanthropy," North American Review, December 1889. Described, not quoted.

Description of the essay: Carnegie ranks the uses to which a rich man should put his surplus during his own lifetime, and places free libraries near the top of the list, just behind universities. His governing principle is that the best gift helps people who are already willing to help themselves rather than relieving want directly; indiscriminate charity, he argues, does more harm than good. He applied the principle in his own giving. Carnegie paid for the building and required the town to furnish the site and to commit itself by law to an annual tax appropriation, customarily a tenth of the value of the gift, for books, heat, light, and salaries. He did not pay running costs.

Source C

Source C: Trustees of the Public Library of the City of Boston, Report of the Trustees, July 1852, arguing to the city for continued public support of the first large tax-funded municipal library in the country.

…it has been rightly judged that — under political, social and religious institutions like ours — it is of paramount importance that the means of general information should be so diffused that the largest possible number of persons should be induced to read and understand questions going down to the very foundations of social order, which are constantly presenting themselves, and which we, as a people, are constantly required to decide, and do decide, either ignorantly or wisely.

Source D

Source D (Melvil Dewey, "The Profession," Library Journal, volume 1, 1876) the opening article of the first issue of the first American library periodical, written the year the American Library Association was founded.

The time was when a library was very like a museum, and a librarian was a mouser in musty books, and visitors looked with curious eyes at ancient tomes and manuscripts. The time is when a library is a school, and the librarian is in the highest sense a teacher, and the visitor is a reader among the books as a workman among his tools.

Source E

Source E: Table drawn from the library returns collected for the 1876 Bureau of Education report, with state populations from the census of 1870. Described, not quoted; figures rounded; illustrative.

Description of the table: five states are listed with their 1870 population, the number of public libraries the Bureau counted in each, the total volumes those libraries held, and volumes per hundred residents. Massachusetts reports 260 libraries holding about 2,200,000 volumes, or 151 per hundred residents; New York holds the most volumes overall, 3,000,000, but only 68 per hundred; Ohio reports 34 and Illinois 24; Georgia reports 40 libraries, 150,000 volumes, and 13 per hundred residents.

StatePopulation, 1870Public libraries reportedVolumes heldVolumes per 100 residents
Massachusetts1,460,0002602,200,000151
New York4,380,0004803,000,00068
Ohio2,670,000200900,00034
Illinois2,540,000150600,00024
Georgia1,180,00040150,00013

Note under the table: the survey counted libraries of three hundred volumes or more open to the public, which in 1876 included town, school, college, and subscription-society collections. Figures are rounded and are illustrative of the report's pattern rather than exact returns.

Source F

Source F: Photograph of the reading room of a Carnegie-funded public library in an American industrial city, about 1910. Described, not quoted; composite of the type.

Description of the photograph: a high room with tall windows and long oak tables down the center, all of them occupied. Schoolchildren sit at the two nearest tables with open books. Along the right wall men in working clothes stand at a slanted newspaper rack, several still in their caps. A librarian at a raised desk answers a woman with a child. A card by the door gives the hours as nine in the morning to nine at night.

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • A defensible position on this question sounds like… a claim about what the tax money is for, stated so that a reasonable person could take the other side: that the library's public role is instruction and guidance rather than storage and should be funded as staff; or that its role is guaranteed access to material the market prices out of reach, and staff exist to serve the collection; or that a library which has become a de facto social-service office has drifted from the job the public agreed to fund. "Libraries are still important" is not a position: nothing in the packet argues against it.
  • Evidence that actually proves it… Source C's reason for public support (readers who must decide public questions "either ignorantly or wisely"); Source A's school-completion argument; Dewey's definitional sentence in Source D ("a library is a school, and the librarian is in the highest sense a teacher"); the distribution in Source E: 151 volumes per hundred residents in Massachusetts against 13 in Georgia; and the specific contents of the frame in Source F, the posted hours and the librarian at the desk. Use figures and phrases, not gestures at "the sources."
  • The strongest objection, and how to concede it… Source B resists almost every position a student will want to take. Carnegie holds that the best help goes to those already helping themselves, and he refused to pay operating costs on principle, requiring the town to tax itself instead. Concede what is right in it (a community that will not fund a library has bought a monument, not a service), and then locate the limit: self-help presumes the reader already knows what to ask for, which is precisely what the reader who most needs the library does not know.
  • Commentary that is not restatement… after each quotation or figure, say what follows for the budget or the policy. "Source E shows a gap" is restatement. "Distribution that wide means access tracked geography and local wealth, not appetite for reading, so the institution that closes it has to be the public one" is commentary. Tie every source back to the same line of reasoning within a sentence or two of using it.
  • A sophistication path… put the two rationales in the packet genuinely in conversation: the civic argument of Sources A and C justifies staff and hours, while the philanthropic argument of Source B builds buildings, and American communities have spent a century funding libraries on the second argument while defending them with the first. Explaining that split, and what it costs when budgets are cut, is a stronger route than any closing flourish about the love of reading. Naming the limits of your own position works too: say which library services your standard would not protect.
Show a 6/6 sample response

The trustees of the Boston Public Library did not argue in 1852 that books were pleasant. Source C They argued that a republic which requires ordinary people to decide questions "going down to the very foundations of social order" must put the means of deciding them within general reach. That argument survives the internet; what it justifies has changed. Thesis A publicly funded library should be defended as the last stage of public education rather than as a storehouse of material: its tax money belongs in trained people, long hours, and instruction aimed at the readers least able to buy access on their own. A town that funds the building and cuts the staff has kept the shell and thrown away what it was paying for.

Source A Evidence The Bureau of Education's 1876 report makes the same connection: it treats the town library as what keeps a common-school education in use after the schooling stops, since a child taught to read at fourteen and then left alone loses the habit. Commentary That ties the funding to a job rather than an inventory: the justification turns on what a reader can still do at thirty, which no quantity of shelving accomplishes. A library whose reference collection has moved into a database has therefore not lost its reason to exist, only the visible evidence of it, which is why the case now has to be made in words instead of in stacks.

Source D Evidence Melvil Dewey saw it a century early, insisting in 1876 that "the time is when a library is a school, and the librarian is in the highest sense a teacher." Commentary That sentence is a budget claim wearing the clothes of a definition. If a library is a collection, its cost is the collection and its staff are caretakers; if it is a school, its cost is its teachers and the collection is equipment. Which sentence a town believes settles every fight it actually has: whether to staff a reference desk, whether to pay someone who can walk a sixty-year-old through a state benefits website.

Source E Evidence The 1876 returns show why the question has to be public. Holdings ran from 151 volumes per hundred residents in Massachusetts down to 13 in Georgia, an elevenfold gap between people living under the same Constitution. Commentary Access to print was never distributed by appetite for reading but by where a reader lived and what his neighbors had taxed themselves for, and the move online has not repealed that. The gap has only changed units (bandwidth, device, the price of a subscription), and the tax-funded institution is still the only one in the chain whose assignment is to close it rather than to price it.

Source B Evidence The strongest objection comes from the man who paid for sixteen hundred of these buildings. Carnegie held in 1889 that the best philanthropy helps those already willing to help themselves, and his terms said so: he bought the structure but required the town to furnish the site and commit by law to an annual appropriation, customarily a tenth of the gift. Commentary Half of that is right and worth conceding: a library a community will not tax itself for is a monument, and his levy did more for public funding than any appeal to the love of reading. But the premise assumes the hardest part is finished before the reader arrives: self-help requires knowing what to ask for, and the person who most needs a library cannot yet name what he is looking for. Carnegie's buildings conceded that the moment they hired a librarian.

Source F Evidence The photograph from about 1910 records the concession: a room full on a weekday, schoolchildren at the near tables, working men at the newspaper rack, a librarian answering a woman with a child, and hours posted from nine to nine. Commentary Nobody in that frame is there because the building holds many volumes; they are there because it is open when they are free and somebody at the desk will answer. Sophistication The two rationales in this packet were never reconciled. The civic argument of Sources A and C buys staff and hours; the philanthropic argument of Source B buys buildings, and American communities have spent a century funding libraries on the second argument while defending them with the first. That is why capital campaigns succeed while operating budgets fail: a donor's name fits on a cornerstone and does not fit on a Tuesday evening.

The standard has costs I accept: it ranks a short list of well-staffed hours above a long list of thin ones. But a community that means what the Boston trustees said in 1852 defends the hour and the person first. Move every volume online tomorrow and the case for the tax survives, because it was never about the volumes.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): "A publicly funded library should be defended as the last stage of public education rather than as a storehouse of material: its tax money belongs in trained people, long open hours, and instruction aimed at the readers least able to buy access on their own." That is defensible because the packet supplies the other side: Source B's self-help principle and Source E's inventory both invite the collection-first position the thesis rejects. It also sets the line of reasoning the body follows: funding a job, not an inventory.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): Five sources are cited by letter with specific content, not summary: Source C's phrase about deciding public questions "either ignorantly or wisely," Source A's school-completion argument, Dewey's definitional sentence in Source D, the 151-to-13 spread in Source E, and the posted hours and staffed desk in Source F, with Source B carrying the counterargument. Every one is followed by commentary that explains how it supports the line of reasoning rather than restating it: Dewey's sentence is read as a budget claim, the Source E gap is read as distribution by geography rather than by appetite, and the Source F details are read as evidence that hours and staff, not holdings, fill a room. The argument is the writer's own; the sources arrive when the argument needs them instead of in alphabetical order.
  • Row C: Sophistication (1/1): The essay takes the route of putting the sources genuinely in conversation, including the one that resists it. It concedes the half of Carnegie's position that is right, locates the precise limit of his premise, and then in the final body paragraph explains the unresolved tension between the civic rationale of Sources A and C and the philanthropic rationale of Source B, drawing a consequence from it: cornerstones funded, Tuesday evenings cut. The closing paragraph names what the position costs. The point is earned by an argument sustained across the essay, not by a single sentence.

Synthesis 2 · 55 minutes (15 reading + 40 writing)

The law that created the National Park Service in 1916 directs it both to conserve the parks unimpaired and to provide for their enjoyment. In an essay that synthesizes at least three of the six sources for support, argue a position on how public land should be managed when preservation and use come into conflict.

Directions

Spend the first fifteen minutes reading the six sources and planning; write for the next forty. Begin with a thesis that presents a defensible position, one the sources could be used to argue against, not a restatement of the prompt and not the observation that both sides have a point. Synthesize at least three of the sources: every claim needs specific evidence from a source, and every piece of evidence needs commentary that explains how it supports your line of reasoning. Cite each source you use by its letter (Source A) or by the author, statute, or title named in the introductory information. The sources exist to support your argument, not to be summarized one after another; an essay that tours A through F almost never earns Row B above 2. Aim also for sophistication: put the sources in genuine conversation, take on the one that resists you, or explain what your position costs and where it stops.

Source A

Source A: Act of March 1, 1872, "An Act to set apart a certain Tract of Land lying near the Head-waters of the Yellowstone River as a public Park" (17 Stat. 32). A later part of the same act lets the Secretary of the Interior grant ten-year leases for buildings to accommodate visitors.

…the tract of land in the Territories of Montana and Wyoming, lying near the head-waters of the Yellowstone river … is hereby reserved and withdrawn from settlement, occupancy, or sale under the laws of the United States, and dedicated and set apart as a public park or pleasuring-ground for the benefit and enjoyment of the people; and all persons who shall locate or settle upon or occupy the same, or any part thereof, except as hereinafter provided, shall be considered trespassers and removed therefrom… [The Secretary] shall provide for the preservation, from injury or spoliation, of all timber, mineral deposits, natural curiosities, or wonders within said park, and their retention in their natural condition.

Source B

Source B: National Park Service Organic Act, approved August 25, 1916 (39 Stat. 535), the statute that created a single agency to run parks that had until then been administered piecemeal, some of them by the Army.

There is hereby created in the Department of the Interior a service to be called the National Park Service… The service thus established shall promote and regulate the use of the Federal areas known as national parks, monuments, and reservations hereinafter specified … by such means and measures as conform to the fundamental purpose of the said parks, monuments, and reservations, which purpose is to conserve the scenery and the natural and historic objects and the wild life therein and to provide for the enjoyment of the same in such manner and by such means as will leave them unimpaired for the enjoyment of future generations.

Source C

Source C: John Muir, Our National Parks, chapter 1, "The Wild Parks and Forest Reservations of the West," 1901. Muir wrote for a popular magazine audience and campaigned for federal protection of the Sierra.

The tendency nowadays to wander in wildernesses is delightful to see. Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountains is going home; that wildness is a necessity; and that mountain parks and reservations are useful not only as fountains of timber and irrigating rivers, but as fountains of life… Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.

Source D

Source D: Gifford Pinchot, The Fight for Conservation, 1910. Pinchot was the first Chief of the United States Forest Service and ran the national forests, which are managed for logging, grazing, and watershed as well as recreation.

The first great fact about conservation is that it stands for development. There has been a fundamental misconception that conservation means nothing but the husbanding of resources for future generations. There could be no more serious mistake. Conservation does mean provision for the future, but it means also and first of all the recognition of the right of the present generation to the fullest necessary use of all the resources with which this country is so abundantly blessed.

Source E

Source E: Table adapted from the annual reports of the Director of the National Park Service, 1917–1925. Described, not quoted; figures rounded; illustrative.

Description of the table: four parks are listed with recorded visitors in 1917, 1921, and 1925, and with the miles of road inside the park by 1925. Yellowstone rises from about 35,000 visitors to about 154,000 and reports the most road, 300 miles. Yosemite rises from 35,000 to 210,000. Rocky Mountain, the park nearest a large city, starts highest at 120,000 and reaches 240,000 on 90 miles of road. Mount Rainier rises from 35,000 to 170,000. The four together go from about 225,000 visitors to about 774,000 in eight years.

ParkVisitors, 1917Visitors, 1921Visitors, 1925Miles of road in park, 1925
Yellowstone35,00081,000154,000300
Yosemite35,00091,000210,000130
Rocky Mountain120,000170,000240,00090
Mount Rainier35,00082,000170,00060
Four parks together225,000424,000774,000580

Note under the table: private automobiles were first admitted to Yellowstone in 1915, and federal road money began reaching the parks after 1916. Figures are rounded and are illustrative of the reported trend rather than exact returns.

Source F

Source F: Railroad promotional poster advertising a western national park, about 1925. Described, not quoted; composite of the type.

Description of the poster: a lithographed sheet about thirty inches by forty, issued by a western railroad. In the foreground a long timber-and-stone hotel stands at a lake shore with its windows lit and an open touring car drawn up at the steps; a couple in traveling clothes walks toward the door. Behind them a snow-covered peak fills the upper half of the sheet. Lettering across the bottom gives the railroad's name and the months the park hotels are open.

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • A defensible position on this question sounds like… a rule for deciding, stated so that someone could reasonably refuse it: that preservation should govern whenever the damage is irreversible while reversible use is managed rather than banned; that heavy use should be concentrated in a small developed fraction of each park so the rest can be left alone; or that a park nobody can reach protects nothing politically and access should come first. "Both preservation and use matter" is not a position: Sources A and B already say that, which is the whole problem.
  • Evidence that actually proves it… the two duties sitting in one sentence of Source A ("pleasuring-ground" against "retention in their natural condition"); the exact grammar of Source B, where enjoyment is provided "in such manner and by such means as will leave them unimpaired"; Pinchot's "fullest necessary use" in Source D; Muir's claim in Source C that wildness is "a necessity" rather than a luxury; and the numbers in Source E: four parks going from roughly 225,000 visitors in 1917 to roughly 774,000 in 1925, on 580 miles of road. Quote the phrase or cite the figure; do not gesture at "the sources."
  • The strongest objection, and how to concede it… Source D resists nearly every preservation-first thesis, and it does so from inside the conservation movement: Pinchot calls it a "serious mistake" to treat conservation as husbanding resources for later, and asserts the present generation's right to use. Source F sharpens the objection: the parks were promoted, and partly paid for, by railroads selling hotel beds. Concede that locking land away is also a waste and that the visiting public is what keeps parks funded, then locate the limit: Pinchot's own word is "necessary," and a forest that regrows is not a geyser basin.
  • Commentary that is not restatement… after each quotation or figure, say what it obliges a manager to do. "Source E shows visitation rose" is restatement. "Roads are both the instrument of access and the instrument of harm, so the same mile of pavement that delivers 200,000 people to one valley is what keeps them out of the other forty" is commentary. Return every source to the same line of reasoning within a sentence or two.
  • A sophistication path… show that the statutory conflict is not a drafting error but the actual political economy of public land: the traffic in Source E and the advertising in Source F built the constituency that pays for preservation, so the use that endangers the parks is also what has protected them. Or work the reversibility distinction hard enough that it yields real cases, which uses your rule permits, which it forbids, and what it would cost you to apply it consistently.
Show a 6/6 sample response

Congress wrote the conflict into the law on purpose. Source A The 1872 act set Yellowstone apart "as a public park or pleasuring-ground for the benefit and enjoyment of the people," and in the same passage ordered the Secretary to provide for the preservation of its "natural curiosities, or wonders" and "their retention in their natural condition." Thesis Those two duties are not equal partners to be balanced case by case. Where a use can be undone, the park service should permit it and manage its volume; where a use cannot be undone, preservation should govern outright, because a decision that forecloses the future is one Congress has already made for us.

Source B Evidence The 1916 statute says so in its grammar. Its fundamental purpose is "to conserve the scenery and the natural and historic objects and the wild life therein and to provide for the enjoyment of the same in such manner and by such means as will leave them unimpaired for the enjoyment of future generations." Commentary Read the subordinate clause. Enjoyment is the purpose; "unimpaired" is a constraint on the means of providing it. Conservation is not weighed against enjoyment; it marks the outer boundary inside which enjoyment is arranged. A superintendent who trades away something irreplaceable for a better visit has not balanced the statute; he has read half of one sentence out of it.

Source E Evidence The numbers show what that boundary has to hold back. Recorded visitors to four parks went from about 225,000 in 1917 to about 774,000 in 1925, Yosemite alone from 35,000 to 210,000, on 580 miles of road among them. Commentary The figures make the enjoyment clause concrete, the automobile turned a phrase about "the people" into crowds, and they identify the mechanism of harm as the mechanism of access. The road is both. That is the argument for concentration rather than prohibition: the mile of pavement that delivers two hundred thousand people into one valley keeps them out of the other forty, and a park with no developed front country disperses its damage instead of containing it.

Source C Evidence Muir is usually cast as the pure preservationist, but his own case is a use case: he writes that "wildness is a necessity," that parks are "fountains of life," and he tells the "tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized" reader to climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Commentary He wants the mountains entered. What he wants protected is the quality that makes entering them worth the trip, and that quality is exactly what unmanaged entry destroys. So the conflict is not preservation against people. It is this summer's visitor against the visitor of 2125, which is the comparison the 1916 phrase "future generations" was written to force.

Source D Evidence The hardest objection comes from the man who ran the Forest Service. Pinchot calls it "a fundamental misconception that conservation means nothing but the husbanding of resources for future generations," and claims for the present generation "the fullest necessary use" of what the country has. Commentary He is right twice, and both concessions cost me. Land locked away produces nothing, and conservation that ignores the living loses the votes that fund it. But his own sentence carries the qualifier: the use he defends is the necessary one, which presumes a resource whose renewal can be counted. A stand of Douglas fir regrows in eighty years and can be logged against that schedule; a geyser basin, a sequoia, a pristine watershed have no such schedule, and applied to them "fullest necessary use" has no floor. What separates a national forest from a national park is not ideology; it is reversibility.

Source F Evidence The railroad poster of about 1925 is the uncomfortable center of the argument: a lighted hotel on the lake shore, a touring car at the steps, the peak behind. Commentary The mountain is scenery for a room with a bed in it. Sophistication And the ticket sellers are why there are parks at all. Railroads lobbied for the reservations and built the hotels, and the automobile crowd behind Source E's numbers made the Park Service politically possible. Preservation in this country has never been financed by people who wanted the land left alone; it has been financed by the traffic that endangers it. The honest form of my position is therefore not that use should be endured but that it should be cultivated (concentrated, paved, roofed, and sold) in the places built for it, because the constituency it creates is the only thing that has ever defended the places where nothing is built.

A manager applying that rule would widen the valley loop and refuse the tramway to the summit, saying plainly that the second refusal is permanent while the first can be repaved. The test is not how much a use is loved but whether the park can get back what it takes.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): "Where a use can be undone, the park service should permit it and manage its volume; where a use cannot be undone, preservation should govern outright." That is defensible rather than obvious, Source D denies it directly and Source F shows the commercial interest that would resist it, and it supplies the line of reasoning the body follows: reversibility as the deciding test, with concentration as the practical form it takes.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): Six sources are cited by letter with specific quoted phrases and figures rather than summary: the two clashing purposes inside Source A, the "in such manner and by such means" construction in Source B, the 225,000-to-774,000 rise and 580 miles of road in Source E, Muir's "wildness is a necessity" in Source C, Pinchot's "fullest necessary use" in Source D, and the contents of the frame in Source F. Every one is followed by commentary that explains how it supports the line of reasoning: the Source B grammar is read as a constraint on means rather than a balance, the Source E figures are read as proof that access and harm run on the same roads, and Pinchot's own qualifier is turned into the reversibility test. The sources arrive when the argument needs them, not in alphabetical order.
  • Row C: Sophistication (1/1): The essay earns the point by situating its argument in a broader context and by taking its resisting source seriously. It concedes two things to Pinchot that cost it something, then limits him with a distinction drawn from his own sentence. Its final body paragraph explains the implication it would rather not have: that preservation has always been paid for by the traffic that threatens it, which converts the thesis from "tolerate use" to "cultivate use where it can be contained." The closing states the rule's hardest consequence instead of softening it.

Synthesis 3 · 55 minutes (15 reading + 40 writing)

Schools and colleges are pressed to prepare students for particular kinds of work, and students are pressed to choose a course of study that pays. In an essay that synthesizes at least three of the six sources for support, argue a position on how much of a secondary or college education should be broad study rather than training for a job.

Directions

Spend the first fifteen minutes reading the six sources and planning; write for the next forty. Begin with a thesis that presents a defensible position, one the sources could be used to argue against, rather than a restatement of the prompt or the observation that students need a little of both. Synthesize at least three of the sources: every claim you make needs specific evidence from a source, and every piece of evidence needs commentary that explains how it supports your line of reasoning. Cite each source you use by its letter (Source A) or by the author, statute, or title named in the introductory information. The sources exist to support your argument, not to be summarized one after another; an essay that walks A through F in order almost never earns Row B above 2. Aim also for sophistication: put the sources genuinely in conversation, take on the one that resists you, or explain what your position costs and where it stops.

Source A

Source A: John Henry Newman, The Idea of a University, Discourse V, "Knowledge Its Own End," 1852. Newman was arguing for the shape of a new Catholic university in Dublin, against the view that a university exists to produce useful men.

Knowledge is capable of being its own end. Such is the constitution of the human mind, that any kind of knowledge, if it be really such, is its own reward. … This process of training, by which the intellect, instead of being formed or sacrificed to some particular or accidental purpose, some specific trade or profession, or study or science, is disciplined for its own sake … is called Liberal Education.

Source B

Source B: Morrill Act, approved July 2, 1862 (12 Stat. 503), the statute granting each state public land to endow a college. Section 4 states what the proceeds must pay for.

…the endowment, support, and maintenance of at least one college where the leading object shall be, without excluding other scientific and classical studies, and including military tactics, to teach such branches of learning as are related to agriculture and the mechanic arts, in such manner as the legislatures of the States may respectively prescribe, in order to promote the liberal and practical education of the industrial classes in the several pursuits and professions in life.

Source C

Source C: Booker T. Washington, Up from Slavery, 1901, quoting the address he gave at the Atlanta Cotton States and International Exposition in 1895. Washington had founded Tuskegee Institute, which trained students in trades and agriculture, and was speaking to a largely white southern audience.

…we shall prosper in proportion as we learn to dignify and glorify common labour and put brains and skill into the common occupations of life… No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem. It is at the bottom of life we must begin, and not at the top.

Source D

Source D: W. E. B. Du Bois, "Of the Training of Black Men," Atlantic Monthly, September 1903, reprinted the same year in The Souls of Black Folk. Du Bois was writing in open disagreement with the industrial-education program associated with Source C.

The function of the university is not simply to teach bread-winning, or to furnish teachers for the public schools or to be a centre of polite society; it is, above all, to be the organ of that fine adjustment between real life and the growing knowledge of life, an adjustment which forms the secret of civilization. … I sit with Shakespeare and he winces not.

Source E

Source E: Table built from the biennial surveys of the US Bureau of Education, Department of the Interior, 1890–1925. Described, not quoted; figures rounded; illustrative.

Description of the table: five survey years are listed with total enrollment in public high schools, the share of those students enrolled in vocational courses, and the number of students that share represents. Enrollment rises from about 200,000 in 1890 to about 2,400,000 in 1925. The vocational share rises over the same years from about 2 percent to about 27 percent, so the number of students in vocational courses goes from roughly 4,000 to roughly 648,000: the share and the school population climbing together rather than one at the expense of the other.

Survey yearPublic high-school enrollmentShare in vocational coursesStudents in vocational courses
1890200,0002%4,000
1900520,0005%26,000
1910915,0009%82,000
19201,850,00019%352,000
19252,400,00027%648,000

Note under the table: "vocational courses" covers manual training, shop, commercial, agricultural, and household-arts subjects, which the surveys counted separately from the academic course. Federal money for vocational teaching in public high schools began with the Smith-Hughes Act of 1917. Figures are rounded and are illustrative of the reported trend rather than exact returns.

Source F

Source F: Photograph of the manual-training shop of an American public high school, about 1915. Described, not quoted; composite of the type.

Description of the photograph: a long room lit by high windows. Eight boys in aprons stand at wooden benches fitted with vises; one works a treadle lathe at the near right, and hand planes and chisels hang on a rack along the back wall. A man in shirtsleeves leans over the second bench with his hand on a boy's work. Through an open doorway at the left, rows of desks, a wall map, and a blackboard are visible in the next room.

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • A defensible position on this question sounds like… a rule about proportion and order that someone could reasonably refuse: that broad study should hold most of the years because a curriculum built around one occupation is the part of a school with an expiration date; or that training should come first for students who cannot afford to wait, with broad study built on top of it; or that the two are not rivals at all and the real question is who is sorted into which course. "Students need both" is not a position: Source B says exactly that in 1862, which is where the problem starts.
  • Evidence that actually proves it… Newman's word "accidental" in Source A and his claim that knowledge "is capable of being its own end"; the conjunction inside Source B, where Congress endows agriculture and the mechanic arts "without excluding other scientific and classical studies" and calls the result "liberal and practical"; Washington's "as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem" in Source C; Du Bois's line in Source D that the university's work is "not simply to teach bread-winning"; the two curves in Source E: enrollment from 200,000 to 2,400,000 while the vocational share goes from 2 percent to 27 percent; and the actual contents of the frame in Source F, including the doorway. Cite the phrase or the figure, not "the sources."
  • The strongest objection, and how to concede it… Source C resists almost any broad-study thesis, and it resists from the side of the students such a thesis claims to serve: Washington is speaking for people with no capital and no time, for whom a trade is not a narrowing of life but the condition of having one. Concede that a curriculum which ranks the poem above the field has insulted most of the room, and that Source E shows families choosing the vocational course in growing numbers. Then locate the limit: Washington's claim is about respect, a broad-study thesis is about scope, and a school can grant the first without surrendering the second.
  • Commentary that is not restatement… after each quotation or figure, say what it obliges a school to schedule. "Source E shows vocational enrollment grew" is restatement. "The share climbed while the school population multiplied twelvefold, so the growth came from students who had never attended high school at all, which means the country was not changing its mind about education, it was building a second one for new arrivals" is commentary. Return every source to the same line of reasoning within a sentence or two of using it.
  • A sophistication path… notice that the packet's quarrel is only half about curriculum. Source B promises the industrial classes both words, liberal and practical; Sources C and D disagree about which half those students will actually get; Source E counts the sorting as it happened; and Source F shows it as architecture: two courses under one roof with a door between them. Explaining who walks through that door, and in which direction, situates the argument in a broader context and is worth more than a closing flourish about learning for its own sake. Naming what your proportion costs the student who cannot afford to wait works too.
Show a 6/6 sample response

Congress did not think it had to choose. Source B The Morrill Act of 1862 endowed colleges whose "leading object" would be agriculture and the mechanic arts "without excluding other scientific and classical studies," and called the result "the liberal and practical education of the industrial classes." American schooling turned that conjunction into a fork. Thesis Broad study should hold most of a secondary and college education and job training should come last and narrow, not because use is beneath learning, but because a course built around one occupation is the only part of a school with an expiration date, and because the choice between the two courses has almost never been made by the student.

Source A Evidence Newman states the pure form of the case: liberal education disciplines an intellect "instead of being formed or sacrificed to some particular or accidental purpose, some specific trade or profession," and he insists that knowledge "is capable of being its own end." Commentary The word carrying his argument is "accidental." Newman is not calling trades unworthy; he is saying that which trade a student lands in is a fact about one decade's labor market, so an education organized around it is hostage to that decade. That turns a lofty claim into a practical one: how many of the motions taught for one shop floor in 1915 did that floor still want in 1945?

Source C Evidence The hardest answer comes from Booker T. Washington, who told his Atlanta audience in 1895 that there is "as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem" and that "it is at the bottom of life we must begin, and not at the top." Commentary Two concessions are owed and both cost me. He spoke for students with no capital and no time, for whom a trade was not a narrowing of life but the condition of having one, and a curriculum ranking the poem above the field does insult most of the room. But his sentence is a claim about respect and mine is a claim about scope. A school can dignify labor exactly as he asks and still teach the chemistry of the soil rather than only the handling of the plow: the chemistry is what lets a farmer argue with the man selling him fertilizer.

Source E Evidence The Bureau of Education's figures record which argument won. Public high-school enrollment rose from about 200,000 in 1890 to about 2,400,000 in 1925, and across the same years the share in vocational courses went from about 2 percent to about 27 percent: one student in fifty becoming better than one in four while the school population multiplied twelvefold. Commentary Those two curves moving together are the history in miniature. The vocational course did not grow because students already in the building changed their minds; it grew because the arrivals were new, children of people who had never attended high school at all, and the course built to receive them was the narrow one. The table does not show a country deciding what an education is. It shows a country deciding what kind of education a new kind of student gets.

Source D Evidence Du Bois named that split in 1903, writing that the university's work is "not simply to teach bread-winning" but "to be the organ of that fine adjustment between real life and the growing knowledge of life," then placing himself in company he had been told was not his: "I sit with Shakespeare and he winces not." Commentary The second sentence is the argument for the first. The broad curriculum is not ornament; it is the difference between being trained for a place and being able to judge it. Source F Sophistication The 1915 photograph makes the arrangement architectural: benches, vises and a lathe in the foreground, and through an open doorway the desks and blackboard of the academic room. One building, two courses, a door between them, and the century's real fight is over which students walk through it and in which direction. The Morrill Act promised the industrial classes both of its words; the fork this packet documents kept that promise by handing each half to a different set of children.

The position has a price. It asks a seventeen-year-old with no money to spend most of four years on what will not pay him in June, and a district to fund the expensive course for everyone rather than the cheap course for most. Washington would call that a luxury bought with somebody else's hunger, and he would not be inventing it. The answer is only this: training narrow enough to feed a student at eighteen is narrow enough to strand him at forty, and a school that sorts at fourteen has decided at fourteen.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): "Broad study should hold most of a secondary and college education and job training should come last and narrow, not because use is beneath learning, but because a course built around one occupation is the only part of a school with an expiration date, and because the choice between the two courses has almost never been made by the student." It is defensible rather than obvious: Source C denies it directly on behalf of the students it claims to help, and Source E shows families moving the other way. It also sets the line of reasoning the body follows: durability first, then who does the sorting.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): Six sources are cited by letter with specific quoted phrases and figures rather than summary: the "liberal and practical" conjunction in Source B, Newman's "accidental purpose" in Source A, Washington's field-and-poem sentence in Source C, the 200,000-to-2,400,000 rise against a 2-to-27-percent share in Source E, Du Bois's "not simply to teach bread-winning" and "I sit with Shakespeare" in Source D, and the contents of the frame in Source F. Every one is followed by commentary that explains how it supports the line of reasoning instead of restating it: "accidental" is read as a claim about durability, the two curves in Source E are read as evidence of sorting rather than of changed minds, and the Source F doorway is read as the physical form of that sorting. The sources arrive when the argument needs them, not in alphabetical order.
  • Row C: Sophistication (1/1): The essay earns the point by putting the sources genuinely in conversation, including the one that resists it. It concedes two things to Washington that cost it something, then limits him with a distinction between respect and scope. Its last body paragraph situates the argument in a broader context: the packet's quarrel is only half about curriculum, and Source F shows the other half as architecture, two courses under one roof and a door that students are walked through in one direction. The closing paragraph states the position's hardest cost rather than softening it. The point rests on an argument sustained across the essay, not on one clever sentence.

Synthesis 4 · 55 minutes (15 reading + 40 writing)

Communities put up monuments in the places they share, and every monument tells one story about the past rather than another. In an essay that synthesizes at least three of the six sources for support, argue a position on how a community should decide what to commemorate.

Directions

Spend the first fifteen minutes reading the six sources and planning; write for the next forty. Begin with a thesis that presents a defensible position, one the sources could be used to argue against, rather than a restatement of the prompt or the observation that people disagree. Synthesize at least three of the sources: every claim you make needs specific evidence from a source, and every piece of evidence needs commentary that explains how it supports your line of reasoning. Cite each source you use by its letter (Source A) or by the speaker, statute, or title named in the introductory information. The sources are here to support your argument, not to be toured one at a time; an essay that walks A through F in order almost never earns Row B above 2. This question asks about a subject people argue about in earnest, and a reader is not scoring your side of it: a well-argued case for building, for keeping, for adding, or for removing can all earn six points. Aim also for sophistication: put the sources genuinely in conversation, take on the one that resists you, or explain what your position costs and where it stops.

Source A

Source A: Abraham Lincoln, address at the dedication of the Soldiers' National Cemetery, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, November 19, 1863, four and a half months after the battle. Lincoln spoke briefly, after a two-hour oration by Edward Everett.

It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.

Source B

Source B: Frederick Douglass, oration at the unveiling of the Freedmen's Monument, Lincoln Park, Washington, D.C., April 14, 1876, the eleventh anniversary of Lincoln's death. The monument was paid for largely by contributions from freed people; President Grant unveiled it, and members of Congress were in the audience.

…truth compels me to admit, even here in the presence of the monument we have erected to his memory, Abraham Lincoln was not, in the fullest sense of the word, either our man or our model. … Viewed from the genuine abolition ground, Mr. Lincoln seemed tardy, cold, dull, and indifferent; but measuring him by the sentiment of his country, a sentiment he was bound as a statesman to consult, he was swift, zealous, radical, and determined.

Source C

Source C: Pericles' funeral oration for the Athenian war dead, as given in Thucydides, History of the Peloponnesian War, book 2, in the translation of Richard Crawley, 1874. Pericles speaks at a public funeral held in the first winter of the war, over the bones of men buried at public expense.

For heroes have the whole earth for their tomb; and in lands far from their own, where the column with its epitaph declares it, there is enshrined in every breast a record unwritten with no tablet to preserve it, except that of the heart.

Source D

Source D: Act of Congress of June 8, 1906, "An Act for the Preservation of American Antiquities" (34 Stat. 225), section 2. This is the standing federal authority under which national monuments are created; it applies to land the government already owns or controls.

That the President of the United States is hereby authorized, in his discretion, to declare by public proclamation historic landmarks, historic and prehistoric structures, and other objects of historic or scientific interest that are situated upon the lands owned or controlled by the Government of the United States to be national monuments … the limits of which … shall be confined to the smallest area compatible with the proper care and management of the objects to be protected.

Source E

Source E: Table adapted from the reports of the Gettysburg Battlefield Memorial Association and of the War Department's Gettysburg National Military Park Commission, covering monuments dedicated on the field from 1865 to 1920. Described, not quoted; figures rounded; illustrative.

Description of the table: monuments dedicated on the Gettysburg field are grouped by decade with the source of their funding. Of about 735 monuments, 600 went up in the two decades from 1880 to 1899. Northern state legislatures appropriated money for about 460; veterans' associations and private subscription paid for about 260. Southern states paid for about 15, all of them after 1900. The first Confederate state memorial on the field was dedicated in 1917.

Decade dedicatedMonuments dedicatedPaid by Northern state appropriationPaid by veterans' association or subscriptionPaid by Southern state appropriation
1865–1879305250
1880–18893201901300
1890–1899280210700
1900–19096035205
1910–192045201510
All years73546026015

Note under the table: the count includes regimental and state monuments but not the smaller position markers and tablets placed by the War Department itself. Figures are rounded and are illustrative of the reported pattern rather than exact returns.

Source F

Source F: Photograph of the Lincoln Memorial under construction, Washington, D.C., 1920. The building was dedicated two years later. Described, not quoted; composite of the type.

Description of the photograph: the memorial stands roofed but unfinished on made ground at the west end of the Mall. Wooden scaffolding covers the north colonnade, and two outer columns are still cased in boards. A construction railway runs into a yard of marble blocks in the foreground, where four workmen stand beside a derrick. Beyond the building the Mall runs east, treeless and raw, toward the Washington Monument.

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • A defensible position on this question sounds like… a rule for deciding, stated so that a reasonable person could refuse it: that a community should commemorate only what it is willing to say in full sentences and defend in public; that commemoration belongs to the deed and not to the committee, so the test is what happened on the ground rather than who wants a statue; that the decision should rest with an expert body working to a written standard, as Source D arranges it, because a public square is not a poll; or that a community should build very little and put the memory into teaching instead. "Monuments are complicated" is not a position: the packet already says that, which is why it is a question.
  • Evidence that actually proves it… Lincoln's refusal in Source A ("we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground"); Douglass's two verdicts in the same speech in Source B, "not, in the fullest sense of the word, either our man or our model" and "swift, zealous, radical, and determined"; Crawley's Pericles in Source C on the record "unwritten with no tablet to preserve it"; the statutory standard in Source D: "objects of historic or scientific interest," confined to "the smallest area"; the funding split in Source E, roughly 460 of 735 monuments bought by Northern state appropriation against about 15 by Southern states, with 600 of the total dedicated between 1880 and 1899; and the contents of the frame in Source F. Use the phrase or the figure, not a gesture at "the sources."
  • The strongest objection, and how to concede it… Source C resists almost every build-it thesis, and it does so from the most honored funeral oration in the language: if the whole earth is the tomb and the real record is kept in the breast, a column is at best redundant. Source E sharpens a different objection against any decide-it-together thesis, since the Gettysburg field was not decided but purchased, decade by decade, by whoever had an appropriation. Concede what is true in each (that a community which has built a monument often stops remembering, and that money has always done much of the deciding) then locate the limit: an unwritten record cannot be examined or corrected by anyone it leaves out.
  • Commentary that is not restatement… after each quotation or figure, say what it obliges a community to do. "Source E shows most monuments were Northern" is restatement. "A field on which one side's legislatures funded four hundred and sixty monuments and the other side's fifteen is not a record of the battle but a record of who had an appropriation to spend in the 1880s, so reading it as settled memory mistakes a budget for a verdict" is commentary. Tie every source back to the same line of reasoning within a sentence or two of using it.
  • A sophistication path… notice that every source in the packet catches commemoration in the middle rather than at the end: Lincoln says the dedication adds nothing to what the deed already did, Douglass argues with the statue at the moment of its unveiling, Source E shows a field still receiving monuments sixty years on and changing what it said as it did, and Source F shows the most famous memorial in the country as scaffolding and a yard of marble. Building an argument on that, and drawing the consequence for a community deciding today, beats any closing flourish about remembering the past. Naming your own rule's cost works too: say which monument your standard would not protect, and which one it would leave standing that you dislike.
Show a 6/6 sample response

Frederick Douglass stood in front of a statue paid for by freed people and told the audience it was partly wrong. Source B Lincoln, he said, was "not, in the fullest sense of the word, either our man or our model," and, measured against the country he had to govern, "swift, zealous, radical, and determined." Thesis That performance is the standard a community should adopt: it should build and keep only what it is willing to say out loud in complete sentences, including the sentences that cost it something. A monument is a claim, not decoration: the question is not whether we admire the figure but whether the community can state the whole claim and stand behind it.

Source A Evidence Lincoln himself denied that the ceremony does the work. At Gettysburg he said, "we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground," because the men who struggled there "have consecrated it." Commentary The deed is finished and cannot be improved by marble; what a dedication adds is not sanctity but speech, and speech is held to the standard of any other public statement. If a monument is a sentence the community says about itself, it can be true, false, incomplete, or cowardly, and it can be revised, which a thing consecrated by the dead never could be.

Source E Evidence The Gettysburg returns show what happens without such a standard. Of roughly 735 monuments, about 460 were bought by Northern state appropriation and about 15 by Southern states, and 600 went up between 1880 and 1899. Commentary Nobody decided that. The field records which legislatures had money in the 1880s and which associations could raise a subscription; the split is a budget, not a finding about the battle. Purchase is a procedure, and a poor one: the funder and the judge are the same person, and no one else is asked. A standard that requires the claim to be sayable can at least be applied by anyone, including people who never had a checkbook.

Source D Evidence Congress preferred a different fix. The 1906 antiquities act hands the decision to one officer's "discretion," limits it to "objects of historic or scientific interest," and confines each to "the smallest area compatible with the proper care and management" of what it protects. Commentary The statute is expert, quick, and modest, and it beats a referendum for preserving a cliff dwelling. But look at what it governs: things that already exist, on federal land, where the only question is whether to let them be destroyed. "Smallest area" is the giveaway. Preservation takes as little public ground as it can; a monument asks for the center of the square and the first sentence about who we are. Discretion can protect an object; it cannot say what a community believes.

Source C Evidence The hardest objection says build less. Pericles, in Crawley's rendering, tells Athens that "heroes have the whole earth for their tomb" and that the true memorial is "a record unwritten with no tablet to preserve it, except that of the heart." Commentary He names the real failure: a city that raises a column has often finished remembering, and the stone becomes a receipt for an obligation discharged. But the unwritten record has a defect he does not mention: it is whatever the majority happens to carry, and it cannot be read or corrected from outside. A tablet that says something can be argued with. A feeling cannot, and the people it leaves out have the least power to amend it.

Source F Evidence The 1920 photograph shows the most familiar memorial in the country as scaffolding, columns still cased in boards, and a railway running to a yard of marble. Commentary It is the only honest condition to photograph a monument in. Sophistication Every source here catches commemoration in the middle rather than at the end: Lincoln says the dedication adds nothing to the deed, Douglass contradicts the statue at its unveiling, and the Gettysburg field was still taking monuments sixty years after the fighting, so what the ground said in 1890 was not what it said in 1917. We inherit these places as verdicts because we arrive after the scaffolding comes down. They were proceedings, and the proceeding never closed.

My rule has a cost. It leaves standing some monuments I would rather not defend, since a community can often say the full sentence and mean it, and it makes every square arguable forever: more work than either building or demolishing. But it rules out the commemoration whose whole claim no one will state in public. Douglass took neither the hammer nor the silence. He stood in front of the statue and finished the sentence it had started.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): "A community should build and keep only what it is willing to say out loud in complete sentences, including the sentences that cost it something." That is defensible rather than obvious, and the packet supplies the other side: Source C argues for building almost nothing, Source D hands the decision to expert discretion instead of public statement, and Source E shows the purchase-based practice the thesis rejects. It also sets the line of reasoning the body follows: a monument as a claim held to the standard of any public claim.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): Six sources are cited by letter with specific quoted phrases and figures rather than summary: Douglass's two verdicts in Source B, Lincoln's "we can not consecrate" in Source A, the 460-to-15 funding split and the 600 monuments of 1880–1899 in Source E, the "discretion" and "smallest area" language of Source D, Crawley's "record unwritten" in Source C, and the contents of the frame in Source F. Each is followed by commentary that explains how it supports the line of reasoning instead of restating it: Lincoln's refusal is read as proof that a dedication is speech and therefore revisable, the Gettysburg split is read as a budget mistaken for a verdict, and "smallest area" is turned into the distinction between preserving an object and claiming a square. The sources arrive when the argument needs them, not in alphabetical order.
  • Row C: Sophistication (1/1): The essay earns the point by putting the sources genuinely in conversation, including the two that resist it. It concedes what is right in Source D and then limits the statute with its own phrase, and it grants Pericles the real failure mode before locating the defect in an unwritten record. The final body paragraph draws the implication that holds the packet together, every source shows commemoration as an open proceeding that we inherit as a verdict, and the closing names what the rule costs, including monuments it would leave standing that the writer dislikes. The point comes from an argument sustained across the essay, not from one clever sentence.

Synthesis 5 · 55 minutes (15 reading + 40 writing)

The United States has adopted, repealed, and readopted the practice of moving the clocks forward in summer. Carefully read the six sources below, including the introductory material for each. Then write an essay that synthesizes material from at least three of the sources and argues your position on whether the United States should keep changing its clocks twice a year.

Directions

You have 55 minutes: spend the first fifteen reading the sources and planning, and the next forty writing. Begin with a defensible thesis that takes a real position on the clock change (keep it, end it, or end it on a stated condition) rather than announcing that the question has two sides. Support every claim with specific evidence from the sources, and cite at least three of the six by letter (Source A, Source B). A top essay uses four or more, including one that resists the position it takes. Let the sources serve your argument: a tour through A, B, C, D, E, F in order is a summary, not an essay. Every piece of evidence needs commentary that explains how it supports your line of reasoning, not merely that it is related. You may add your own knowledge and experience, and you should qualify your position where the sources force you to. Finally, make one sophistication move: put two sources in genuine conversation, name the limits of your own position, or situate the argument in a wider question about what laws can and cannot change.

Source A

Source: Standard Time Act, Public Law 65-106, approved March 19, 1918 (40 Stat. 450). The act created the nation's standard time zones and, in the section below, ordered the first nationwide clock change. Congress repealed this section over President Wilson's veto in August 1919, sixteen months after passing it.

An Act To save daylight and to provide standard time for the United States. … That at two o'clock antemeridian of the last Sunday in March of each year the standard time of each zone shall be advanced one hour, and at two o'clock antemeridian of the last Sunday in October in each year the standard time of each zone shall, by the retarding of one hour, be returned to the mean astronomical time of the degree of longitude governing said zone…

Source B

Source: Benjamin Franklin, letter to the editors of the Journal de Paris, 1784, later reprinted as “An Economical Project.” Franklin, then the American minister to France, had spent the previous evening at a demonstration of a new oil lamp that burned less oil; he writes the next morning, and goes on to propose taxing shutters and firing cannon at dawn.

An accidental sudden noise waked me about six in the morning, when I was surprised to find my room filled with light; and I imagined at first that a number of those lamps had been brought into it; but, rubbing my eyes, I perceived the light came in at the windows. I got up and looked out to see what might be the occasion of it, when I saw the sun just rising above the horizon, from whence he poured his rays plentifully into my chamber, my domestic having negligently omitted the preceding evening to close the shutters.

Source C

Source: Uniform Time Act of 1966, Public Law 89-387, approved April 13, 1966. Between 1945 and 1966 there was no federal rule: states, counties, and even individual towns chose whether and when to change their clocks, and a traveler on the thirty-five-mile bus route between Steubenville, Ohio, and Moundsville, West Virginia, passed through seven time changes.

It is hereby declared that it is the policy of the United States to promote the adoption and observance of uniform time within the standard time zones prescribed by the Act of March 19, 1918, as amended… To this end the Interstate Commerce Commission is hereby authorized and directed to foster and promote widespread and uniform adoption and observance of the same standard of time within and throughout each such standard time zone. … During the period commencing at two o'clock antemeridian on the last Sunday of April of each year and ending at two o'clock antemeridian on the last Sunday of October of each year, the standard time of each zone… shall be advanced one hour…

Source D

Source: Description of the testimony and floor debate on repealing the daylight-saving section of the Standard Time Act, Congressional Record, 66th Congress, 1919.

Description of the debate: members from farm districts led the repeal, and their objection was practical. A statute, they argued, moves the clock but not the sun: hay and grain cannot be cut until the dew has dried, cows do not let down their milk an hour earlier because a legislature says so, and a farmer who must deliver to a town market now keeping the new time loses an hour of field work at the start of every day. Members from cities and from the railroads answered that the war had proved the change workable and that millions of workers had gained a usable evening. Congress passed repeal, President Wilson vetoed it twice, and both houses overrode him in August 1919.

Source E

Source: Illustrative table of estimated electricity savings under extended daylight saving time, of the kind the Department of Transportation reported to Congress in 1975 after the year-round experiment of 1974, and the General Accounting Office reviewed in 1976. The figures below are illustrative: constructed for this exercise to show the shape and the size of such estimates, not measurements.

Description of the table: the estimates are largest in the spring, when sunset moves most and lights are still wanted early; they nearly vanish in midsummer, when evenings are long whatever the clock reads. The right-hand column, the evening peak, is the figure utilities care about, because peak demand determines how many generating plants must be kept ready. Every figure is a reduction, and every figure is small. The note printed beneath the table is doing as much work as the table itself.

PeriodEstimated change in total electricity useEstimated change in evening peak demand
March−0.9%−1.6%
April−1.0%−1.7%
July−0.2%−0.4%
October−0.6%−1.1%
Full year−0.3%−0.6%

Assumptions printed beneath the table: households are assumed to keep the same waking and sleeping hours after the change as before; lighting is treated as the main evening load; heating and air conditioning, gasoline use, and any change in evening driving are not counted; and the stated margin of error is roughly the size of the savings themselves, so a reported one percent could be half that or nothing.

Source F

Source: Description of a United States government poster issued in 1918 to explain the first national clock change to the public.

Description of the poster: a man in shirtsleeves stands at the center and reaches up with both hands to move the hour hand of a large clock face forward from four to five. Behind him on the left rises a factory with smoking chimneys; on the right lies an open field where a farmer follows a horse-drawn plow under a low sun. Large type across the bottom tells readers to set the clock ahead one hour and save daylight.

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • A defensible position on this question sounds like… “Congress should end the twice-yearly change and fix the country on a single time,” or “the change should stay because the evening hour is worth more than the disruption,” or a conditional position: “end the change only if one national standard replaces it, because the cost the sources actually document is disagreement, not darkness.” What does not score: “both sides make good points,” “daylight saving time is a controversial issue,” or a thesis that only reports what the sources say.
  • Evidence that actually proves it… the stated wartime purpose in the title and text of Source A; Franklin's arithmetic and its comic exaggeration in Source B; the uniformity policy and the fixed statutory dates in Source C; the farm objection that the clock does not move the dew in Source D; the specific figures in Source E: about one percent in March and April, 0.2 percent in July: together with the assumptions note that admits the margin of error is as large as the savings; the wartime civic appeal of the poster in Source F. Numbers must be quoted with their qualification, not stripped of it.
  • The strongest objection, and how to concede it… Source C resists the position most students will take. It shows that the problem Congress solved in 1966 was not the clock change but the patchwork that grew when there was no federal rule at all, which means simple repeal could reproduce the 1960s confusion rather than end it. A strong essay concedes this and answers it by arguing for a single national choice; a weak essay ignores Source C or misreads it as simply another vote for daylight saving.
  • Commentary that is not restatement… after citing Source E, do not write “this shows there are savings.” Write what the qualification does to the argument: an estimated saving the size of its own error bar cannot carry a national policy, so the case for the change has to be made on evening daylight rather than on energy. Each body paragraph should end on the writer's reasoning, not on the source.
  • A sophistication path… put Sources A and C in genuine conversation and notice they agree about something neither states: that the real good being legislated is one clock, not one extra hour; or weigh who pays, since Source D's farmers and Source F's factory workers are asked to absorb the same hour on very different terms; or situate the question in the larger one it belongs to, what a legislature can and cannot change by declaring it. A single clever final sentence does not earn this point.
Show a 6/6 sample response

Congress has ordered the nation's clocks moved, then ordered them left alone, then ordered them moved again, and each reversal came with a different justification: coal in 1918, farm labor in 1919, oil in 1974, evening shopping in 2005. That instability is itself a piece of evidence. Thesis The United States should stop changing its clocks twice a year, but the reason to stop is not that an extra evening hour is worthless. It is that the only benefit these sources can actually demonstrate is uniformity, and uniformity is available without the switch, provided Congress chooses one national time instead of leaving the choice to fifty legislatures.

The energy argument has always been more elegant than it is large. Source B Franklin's 1784 letter, where the idea enters English-language argument, is a joke at his own expense: a man never awake at six discovers with astonishment that the sun rises then, and proposes cannon in the streets to wake the sluggards. Commentary The satire works because its arithmetic is so confidently precise, and two centuries of advocacy have borrowed the confidence while missing that Franklin was laughing at it. Source E The modern numbers are soberer and smaller: roughly one percent of total electricity in March and April, 0.2 percent in July, 0.3 percent across the year. Commentary More telling is the note under them: it assumes identical sleeping hours, leaves out heating, cooling and driving, and admits a margin of error about the size of the savings, so the reported one percent could as easily be nothing. A policy that reorganizes the sleep of a continent ought to show a benefit larger than its own error bars.

Source D The 1919 repeal debate supplies the objection that has never really been answered. Farm-state members pointed out that a statute moves the clock and not the sun: dew dries when it dries, cows are indifferent to legislation, and a farmer selling into a town that has adopted the new time loses an hour of field work every morning. Commentary Their complaint was not confusion about what the law did; it was an accurate claim about who paid for it. The clock change does not create daylight, it redistributes it, and the people whose work is set by the sun absorb the cost so that people whose work is set by a clock can collect the benefit. That is a defensible trade, but it must be argued as a trade rather than sold as a saving.

Source A The 1918 statute is honest about why it existed. Its title promises “to save daylight and to provide standard time,” and Congress passed it in the first spring of American participation in a world war, when coal was rationed. Commentary That exigence is gone, and when it went, so did the law: repealed over a presidential veto within sixteen months. What survives from 1918 is not the wartime emergency but the machinery built alongside it, the zones and the fixed dates, which is precisely the part nobody proposes to repeal.

Source C The strongest case against my position is Source C, and it deserves a straight answer. The Uniform Time Act was passed because between 1945 and 1966 there was no federal rule and the result was a country where a thirty-five-mile bus ride crossed seven time changes; the statute declares it “the policy of the United States to promote the adoption and observance of uniform time.” Commentary Read carefully, that is not an endorsement of moving clocks. It is an endorsement of everyone moving them together, which is why the act spends its language on dates and zones rather than on daylight. Sophistication Sources A and C therefore agree about something neither one says outright: the good actually being legislated is a single clock, not an extra hour, and the hour was only ever the occasion for the coordination. This is also why repeal by itself would be a mistake: if Congress ended the change and let each state pick its own permanent standard, it would rebuild the patchwork of 1965 with better lighting. The honest version of my position requires Congress to name one time and keep it.

Source F The 1918 poster shows what the policy needed in order to work: a factory on one side, a field on the other, and one man reaching up to move the hand forward for both of them. Commentary It is an image of shared sacrifice: a wartime favor, not a permanent habit. A country that keeps a wartime measure for a century without the war should be able to say what the measure is now for. On the evidence here, the answer is coordination, and coordination can be had once, in March of no year at all.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): “The United States should stop changing its clocks twice a year… provided Congress chooses one national time instead of leaving the choice to fifty legislatures.” It takes a position a reasonable reader could dispute, and it is qualified rather than absolute: the condition attached to it is the claim the body paragraphs go on to prove, so it also establishes the line of reasoning.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): All six sources are cited by letter (B and E, then D, A, C, and F) well past the three the rubric requires, and each is used as support rather than summarized. The line of reasoning is explicit: the energy case is too small to carry the policy (B and E), the cost falls unevenly on the people the clock cannot help (D), the original wartime exigence is gone (A), and what remains valuable is uniformity rather than the hour (A with C). Commentary consistently explains how: Source E's numbers are read together with the assumptions note, so the point is that an estimate the size of its own error bar cannot carry a national policy; Source D becomes an argument about distribution; “the clock change does not create daylight, it redistributes it”; Source C is read for what it spends its language on rather than for its topic.
  • Row C: Sophistication (1/1): The essay takes the route of putting the sources in genuine conversation, including the one that resists it. Source C is the strongest objection to ending the change, and instead of ignoring it the essay concedes the danger it names, a return to the patchwork of 1965, and uses that concession to tighten its own position into a specific and harder claim: repeal plus one national standard. Noticing that Sources A and C agree about uniformity rather than daylight is a reading neither source states, and it is sustained across the argument rather than dropped in at the end.

Rhetorical analysis 1 · 40 minutes

On March 4, 1865, with the Confederacy weeks from collapse and more than six hundred thousand Americans dead, Abraham Lincoln took the oath of office a second time. The crowd at the Capitol had come to hear a victory speech from a president whose armies were winning. He spoke for about seven hundred words. Read the excerpts and the summary below carefully. Write an essay that analyzes the rhetorical choices Lincoln makes to prepare a victorious audience for the end of the war.

Directions

You have forty minutes. Read the material twice: once for what Lincoln is saying, once with a pencil, marking the places where the language does something to a crowd that expects to be congratulated. Then begin with a defensible thesis: a claim about the choices Lincoln makes and what those choices accomplish on this occasion. A thesis that restates the prompt, summarizes the address, or lists devices ("Lincoln uses parallelism, allusion, and repetition") earns nothing in Row A. In the body, develop two or three choices rather than cataloguing six: quote a few words, then write commentary that explains how the choice works on a listener who came to hear the enemy blamed. Analyze, do not summarize: a sentence that only reports what the address says is not yet evidence. Keep the claims inside one line of reasoning. For sophistication, look for the tension the speech lives inside: a wartime commander in chief, addressing the winning side, declines to claim the victory as a moral verdict in his own favor.

The passage

Source: Abraham Lincoln, Second Inaugural Address, March 4, 1865, three short excerpts with a summary of the whole.

Description of the address. The speech moves in four steps. Lincoln opens by declining to give a long address, since the war's progress is already known to everyone. He then recalls the moment four years earlier when both sides dreaded war and neither expected it to last long or to end slavery. He turns next to the two sides together: their shared religion, their opposed prayers, the offence of slavery, and the possibility that the war's length is a judgment falling on the whole country rather than on one half of it. He closes by naming the work that comes after the fighting.

From the opening:

At this second appearing to take the oath of the presidential office, there is less occasion for an extended address than there was at the first.

From the paragraph on the two sides:

Both read the same Bible, and pray to the same God; and each invokes His aid against the other. … The prayers of both could not be answered; that of neither has been answered fully.

The final paragraph begins:

With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds …

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • The refusal to give the expected speech. An inaugural address is a performance slot, and Lincoln opens by shrinking it: there is "less occasion for an extended address" than four years ago. Weak commentary calls this modest. Strong commentary notices what the move buys, by declining the victory oration the audience came for, he clears the room of triumph before he says anything they could cheer, and whatever follows arrives in the space where the celebration was supposed to be.
  • The grammar that puts both sides in one sentence. "Both read the same Bible, and pray to the same God." The sentence has a single compound subject doing identical things; the enemy is not described but included. Commentary should explain that the construction does the argument's work before any claim is stated: a listener who accepts the sentence has already accepted that the two sides are the same kind of people, which is the premise the rest of the address needs.
  • Agency withheld from both armies. Prayers are not answered; the war continues; the offense "came." Lincoln keeps the sentences' active power with God or with events rather than with the Union. Strong essays explain the effect: if neither side directs the outcome, then winning is not a verdict, and the victors cannot read their victory as proof of their own righteousness.
  • The shift into imperative at the end. The final paragraph stops explaining and starts assigning: "let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds." Commentary should notice the pivot from analysis to task, and that the verbs are ones a nurse or a builder would use rather than a conqueror: the work named for the winning side is repair.
  • A sophistication path. Hold the tension rather than resolving it: Lincoln qualifies his own side's certainty ("as God gives us to see the right") while still insisting there is a right to be firm about. A strong Row C essay can also name what the strategy costs him: a speech that refuses to blame the defeated gives the victors no language for punishment, which is precisely the argument that would be needed a month later, and can only work because it is delivered by the man who won.
Show a 6/6 sample response

The crowd that gathered at the Capitol on March 4, 1865 had won. Sherman had marched through Georgia, Richmond was weeks from falling, and the man taking the oath had been re-elected by the side that was winning. Every convention of the occasion pointed toward a victory speech. Thesis Lincoln instead uses the address to take the verdict away from the victors: he shrinks the occasion so that no celebration can occupy it, builds sentences whose grammar makes the two sides a single subject, and moves the war's agency away from either army; so that when he finally issues an instruction, the only work left for the winning side is repair rather than judgment.

Evidence He begins by declining to speak at length: "At this second appearing to take the oath of the presidential office, there is less occasion for an extended address than there was at the first." Commentary The sentence reads as modesty and works as clearance. An inaugural address is a reserved space for a national performance, and a president four years into a war he is winning has an obvious speech to give in it. By announcing that there is less occasion for one, Lincoln empties the slot before anyone can fill it with cheering, and he does it in the passive, impersonal register of an administrator noting a fact rather than a leader making a choice. The audience is not told that celebration is wrong; it is simply given nowhere to put it. Everything after this lands in a silence Lincoln has manufactured.

Evidence The central sentence then folds the enemy into the speaker's own grammar: "Both read the same Bible, and pray to the same God; and each invokes His aid against the other." Commentary The argument here is carried by syntax rather than by assertion. One compound subject governs one set of verbs, so the two sides are not compared: they are conjugated together, performing identical acts in identical words. A listener has to accept the sentence before he can evaluate the claim inside it, and by then he has already granted that the people being shot at are the same kind of people as the people doing the shooting. Had Lincoln argued the point directly, in March 1865, to that audience, it would have been refused; built into the structure of the sentence, it slips past the refusal.

Evidence The next lines strip both armies of the power to settle anything: "The prayers of both could not be answered; that of neither has been answered fully." Commentary The construction is passive and the agent is unnamed, so the sentence reports an outcome without crediting anybody with producing it. This is the move on which the whole address turns. If the war's course belongs to a providence neither side commands, then the Union's coming victory cannot be read as a verdict on Union virtue; the winners are not vindicated, only spared. Lincoln keeps something for his own side (the offense of slavery is named, and the right is a right), but he denies the victors the inference they most want to draw, which is that having won is the same as having been good.

Commentary Only after that denial does the speech permit an instruction, and the pivot is audible: "With malice toward none; with charity for all … let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds." The two prepositional phrases arrive before any verb, so the conditions are set before the task is named, and the task itself is stated in the vocabulary of nursing rather than conquest. A crowd that had been handed a triumph in the first minute could not have been assigned this work in the last one.

Sophistication What makes the address more than an act of mercy is that Lincoln never gives up the claim he is qualifying. The same paragraph that begins "with malice toward none" also says "with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right": a clause that asserts a right and, in the same breath, admits that the speaker's view of it is granted rather than possessed. He is arguing for humility about a judgment he is not abandoning, and the tension is the point rather than a flaw in it. It is also expensive. A speech that refuses to convict the defeated leaves the victors without any vocabulary for punishment, which is exactly the vocabulary much of his party wanted six weeks later; and the argument could only be made at all by the one man whose side was winning, since from any other mouth it would have sounded like a plea for terms.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): The last two sentences of the introduction make a defensible claim about the choices and their effect (that Lincoln takes the verdict away from the victors by emptying the occasion, by grammar that joins the two sides, and by withholding agency), and establish the line of reasoning the body follows. It is not a restatement of the prompt and not a list of devices.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): Three choices are developed rather than six named, each with specific quoted evidence, "less occasion for an extended address"; "Both read the same Bible, and pray to the same God"; "that of neither has been answered fully", and each quotation is followed by commentary that explains how the choice works on this audience: the opening clears the space a victory speech would occupy; the compound subject wins assent through syntax before the claim can be refused; the unnamed agent denies the winners their inference. The closing paragraph's shift into imperative is analyzed as the consequence of the first three moves, so the claims build in one line of reasoning instead of restarting.
  • Row C: Sophistication (1/1): The final paragraph names a genuine tension and holds it open, Lincoln qualifies his own certainty while still asserting a right, and then states what the strategy costs: it disarms the punitive argument his own party would soon need, and it depends on being spoken by the winner. The occasion is used analytically throughout rather than mentioned once in the introduction.

Rhetorical analysis 2 · 40 minutes

In 1852 the Rochester Ladies' Anti-Slavery Society invited Frederick Douglass, who had escaped from slavery fourteen years earlier, to deliver the city's Independence Day address. He spoke on July 5 at Corinthian Hall to a large audience of white reformers who had come expecting a celebration of the nation's founding. Read the passage carefully. Write an essay that analyzes the rhetorical choices Douglass makes to convey his message to his audience.

Directions

You have forty minutes. Read the passage twice before you write: once for what Douglass is saying, once with a pencil, marking the places where the language does something to the people in the hall. Then begin with a defensible thesis: a claim about the choices Douglass makes and what those choices accomplish for this audience on this occasion. A thesis that restates the prompt, summarizes the speech, or lists devices ("Douglass uses repetition, rhetorical questions, and imagery") earns nothing in Row A. In the body, develop two or three choices rather than cataloguing six: quote a few words, then write commentary that explains how the choice works on a listener who came to be praised. Analyze, do not summarize, if a sentence only reports what the passage says, it is not yet evidence. Keep the claims in one line of reasoning so the paragraphs build rather than restart. For sophistication, look for the tension the passage lives inside: Douglass is a guest attacking the occasion he was invited to honor, and he addresses as "Fellow-citizens" a country that will not count him as one.

The passage

Source: Frederick Douglass, address at Corinthian Hall, Rochester, New York, July 5, 1852 (excerpt).

Fellow-citizens, pardon me, allow me to ask, why am I called upon to speak here to-day? What have I, or those I represent, to do with your national independence? … This Fourth [of] July is yours, not mine. You may rejoice, I must mourn. … What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July? I answer: a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciations of tyrants, brass fronted impudence; your shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanksgivings, with all your religious parade and solemnity, are, to him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy …

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • The second-person "your," which separates speaker from audience… Douglass never says our. The holiday is "yours, not mine"; what follows is "your celebration," "your boasted liberty," "your national greatness," "your prayers and hymns." Strong commentary does more than label the pronoun: it explains that the possessive makes the audience the owner of everything being indicted, so the charge cannot be shrugged off as an outsider's complaint about someone else's country. Note also what the pronoun costs him: the same speech keeps calling the room "Fellow-citizens," claiming the membership the "your" denies.
  • The rhetorical questions that open the passage… "why am I called upon to speak here to-day?" and "What have I, or those I represent, to do with your national independence?" begin in the grammar of permission, "pardon me, allow me to ask", rather than accusation. Analysis worth Row B credit explains what a question does that a statement cannot: it makes each listener answer silently, and every available answer convicts either the celebration or the nation. Do not stop at "this makes the audience think."
  • The accumulating catalogue… after "What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July?" the passage turns into a list in which each item pairs something the audience is proud of with a word for counterfeit: celebration/sham, liberty/license, greatness/ vanity, shouts of liberty and equality/hollow mockery, ending in the pile-up of "bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy." Good commentary names the mechanism: the verbs drop out of the later clauses, the parallel structure speeds up, and the audience stops weighing charges one at a time and starts feeling a pattern.
  • The shift from invitation to indictment… the passage moves from courtesy ("pardon me") to interrogation to verdict, and the line of reasoning that fits this passage usually follows that arc: Douglass accepts the occasion, uses its own politeness to earn a hearing, and then spends the credit all at once. An essay organized around that turn beats one organized as a device tour, because it can explain why the final catalogue lands at all: the audience has already granted him the floor and answered his questions.
  • The occasion: the fifth of July, not the fourth… Douglass speaks the day after the holiday, at the invitation of an antislavery society, to listeners who considered themselves his allies. The strongest essays make that situation do analytic work: the celebration is already over, which is exactly what "yours, not mine" describes; and the people most likely to be flattered by his presence are the people he refuses to flatter. Sophistication comes from sustaining that reading (the tension of an invited guest, or the limits and risks of the strategy) not from a closing line about how the speech still matters today.
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Douglass was invited to celebrate. The Rochester Ladies' Anti-Slavery Society asked him to give the city's Independence Day address, and the people who filled Corinthian Hall on July 5, 1852 expected to hear their country praised by a man whose presence would confirm their own decency. Thesis Rather than refuse the occasion, Douglass accepts it and turns its grammar against the room: he opens in the language of permission and asks questions his listeners must answer for themselves, he hands the holiday back to them with a repeated "your," and he lets the celebration collapse under a catalogue that names each of its parts as a counterfeit, so the indictment arrives built out of the very material the audience asked him to praise, and cannot be dismissed as an outsider's attack.

Evidence The passage does not begin with a charge. It begins with a request: "pardon me, allow me to ask, why am I called upon to speak here to-day?" Commentary That courtesy is not decoration but the only door into this argument: a speaker who opened by calling the Fourth of July a fraud would be dismissed before his second sentence, so Douglass asks a question instead and makes the hall supply the accusation itself. A question obliges every listener to answer silently, and the answers available in 1852 are all damaging. When he presses, "What have I, or those I represent, to do with your national independence?", either the Declaration's principles reach the enslaved, in which case the celebration these people came for is a lie about the present, or they do not, in which case it is a lie about the nation. Douglass never has to choose; he only has to ask, and let the room convict itself before he says anything it could refuse.

Evidence Then the pronouns finish the separation the questions began: "This Fourth [of] July is yours, not mine. You may rejoice, I must mourn," and, again, "What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July?" Commentary By the time the list starts, everything in the room has been assigned an owner: "your celebration," "your boasted liberty," "your national greatness," "your prayers and hymns." The possessive does what a mere pronoun shift cannot: it makes the audience the proprietor of every item about to be found worthless, so the speech is not a stranger's complaint about a distant country but an inventory of theirs, read aloud by a man they invited. The date presses the same point. He speaks on the fifth, the day after, so the holiday he describes is already finished and already theirs; the calendar has put him outside the celebration, and "yours, not mine" only reports where he has stood all along.

Evidence The final move is accumulation. Each clause pairs a source of national pride with a word for forgery, "your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity", until the sentence ends in "bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy." Commentary The catalogue works by rhythm before logic. The verb drops out of the later clauses, so the pairs come faster, and a listener stops weighing charges one at a time and begins to feel a pattern; by the fifth pairing, disputing any single item would sound like quibbling. Sophistication And yet through all of it Douglass keeps saying "Fellow-citizens." The same speech that denies him any share in "your" holiday insists on the membership that holiday is supposed to confer, and the contradiction is not a flaw in his method but its engine: he can indict the nation only from inside it, as a citizen holding it to the document it was reading aloud the day before. That is also what the strategy costs him: to be heard he must remain, rhetorically, one of them, so every sentence that separates him is spoken by a voice already claiming the right to speak for the country it condemns.

The passage is not a refusal of the invitation but a full use of it. Douglass takes the courtesy he was offered, spends it on questions, and pays out the answer in a list his listeners own.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): "Rather than refuse the occasion, Douglass accepts it and turns its grammar against the room", followed by the three choices and what they accomplish: an indictment the audience cannot dismiss as an outsider's attack. That is a defensible claim about rhetorical choices and their effect on this audience, not a restatement of the prompt or a list of devices, and it sets the line of reasoning the body follows in order: permission, possession, accumulation.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): Three choices are developed rather than six named, each with specific quoted evidence, "pardon me, allow me to ask," "What have I, or those I represent, to do with your national independence?"; "yours, not mine" and the string of "your" phrases; the paired clauses ending in "bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy." Every quotation is followed by commentary that explains how the choice works on a listener: the question forces a silent answer whose alternatives both convict; the possessive makes the audience the owner of what is being condemned, reinforced by the July 5 date; the catalogue drops its verbs and accelerates until objecting to one item sounds like quibbling. The claims stay inside one line of reasoning about an invitation turned into an indictment.
  • Row C: Sophistication (1/1): The essay takes the "genuine tension" route and sustains it. It reads the address term "Fellow-citizens" against the possessive "your," argues that the contradiction is the engine of the speech rather than a slip, and then names what the strategy costs Douglass: he can only be heard by staying rhetorically inside the nation he is condemning. The occasion (the fifth, an antislavery society, an audience expecting to be flattered) is used analytically throughout rather than mentioned once in the introduction.

Rhetorical analysis 3 · 40 minutes

On January 18, 1892, Elizabeth Cady Stanton: seventy-six years old and forty-four years past the Seneca Falls convention she had helped call: read "The Solitude of Self" to the House Committee on the Judiciary, a room of congressmen who alone could send a suffrage amendment to the floor and who had been receiving, and shelving, such petitions for decades. Read the summary and the excerpts carefully. Write an essay that analyzes the rhetorical choices Stanton makes to convey her message to her audience.

Directions

You have forty minutes. The document below is not a continuous passage: it gives a summary of the whole address and then three short excerpts. Use the summary to establish the situation, and draw your evidence from the quoted sentences: read them twice, once for what Stanton is claiming and once with a pencil, marking what each sentence does to the men listening. Then begin with a defensible thesis: a claim about the choices Stanton makes and what those choices accomplish for this committee on this occasion. A thesis that restates the prompt, summarizes the speech, or lists devices ("Stanton uses metaphor, repetition, and pathos") earns nothing in Row A. In the body, develop two or three choices rather than cataloguing six: quote a few words, then write commentary that explains how the choice works on a listener who can vote and has not. Analyze, do not summarize: a sentence that only reports what Stanton says is not yet evidence. Keep the claims inside one line of reasoning so the paragraphs build rather than restart. For sophistication, look for the tension the address lives inside: Stanton argues that no one can stand in for anyone else, and she must make that argument as a petition to men who are standing in for her.

The address

Source: Elizabeth Cady Stanton, "The Solitude of Self," read to the Committee on the Judiciary of the United States House of Representatives, Washington, D.C., January 18, 1892: short excerpts with a summary of the whole. Stanton stepped down from the presidency of the national suffrage association at the convention meeting in the city the same week.

Description of the address: Stanton argues that the case for women's rights rests not on justice or on any likeness between women and men, but on the fact that every human being is finally alone. She states that premise first, in the language of Protestant conscience and republican citizenship; then walks through a life (girlhood, marriage, motherhood, work, old age, death) showing that at each stage no one can act or suffer in another's place; and closes by demanding that a person who must fight alone be equipped alone.

The address opens:

The point I wish plainly to bring before you on this occasion is the individuality of each human soul — our Protestant idea, the right of individual conscience and judgment; our republican idea, individual citizenship.

From the sentence in which she names what she is asking for and then gives the reason for it:

The strongest reason for giving woman all the opportunities for higher education, for the full development of her faculties … is the solitude and personal responsibility of her own individual life.

From the place where the argument turns from description to demand:

Seeing, then, that life must ever be a march and a battle, that each soldier must be equipped for his own protection, it is the height of cruelty to rob the individual of a single natural right.

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • The premises she borrows, and the "our" that hands them back… Stanton opens on nothing that sounds like a women's question: "the individuality of each human soul — our Protestant idea … our republican idea." Strong commentary explains what the possessive does rather than labeling it. The pronoun enrolls the committee in the premise before the conclusion is in sight, so that refusing her later means refusing two creeds these men profess and would defend against anyone else. Note also what the word claims for the speaker: a woman who cannot vote for the men in front of her says "our republican idea," asserting the membership the hearing exists to withhold.
  • The ground she chooses: solitude instead of justice or equality… The "strongest reason" for education, property, and the vote turns out to be "the solitude and personal responsibility of her own individual life." Analysis worth Row B credit explains why that ground is chosen: an argument from fairness or from women's likeness to men invites the answers this committee already had, while an argument from the fact that no one can suffer, decide, or die in another's place cannot be denied without denying the listeners' own experience. It also quietly disables the doctrine of protection: protection is a promise about the hours when someone else is present.
  • The shape of that sentence: the reason held to the end… Everything she wants is listed first, and the reason arrives only after the list. Commentary that names the mechanism beats commentary that praises the style: the committee has to hold the whole demand in mind before it is told why, so the justification lands on a room already carrying the request, and the members cannot dismiss the reason without re-hearing all of it.
  • The soldier, and the verb "rob"… "life must ever be a march and a battle, that each soldier must be equipped for his own protection": the figure borrows the audience's own vocabulary of duty and self-defense, and it changes the category of what is being requested: equipment is not a privilege awarded to the deserving but what anyone already sent into a fight is owed. Notice that "his own protection" keeps the soldier generic, so the rule is granted before the committee sees whom it covers. Then "rob" reassigns the parts: the men are not benefactors weighing a gift but holders of something that was never theirs, which changes what a "no" vote means.
  • The occasion: an old campaigner before a committee that can act… Stanton is seventy-six, forty-four years past Seneca Falls, addressing men who had tabled such petitions for decades, and she brings no statistics, no petitions, and no legal precedent. The strongest essays make that situation do analytic work: having watched evidence fail with this audience, she argues from the one fact about her listeners their power cannot alter, each of them will also stand alone at the end. Sophistication comes from sustaining such a reading, or from naming the cost: solitude can be conceded without conceding anything, a condition no law can cure cannot show why this law follows, and a case for absolute self-sovereignty has to be delivered as a petition to men who hold that sovereignty in trust. A closing line about how the speech still matters today will not earn Row C.
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Stanton had been making this argument for forty-four years, and the men in front of her were the ones who could end it with a vote and had not. She does not open by asking. Thesis Grounding the case for women's rights not in justice or in any likeness between women and men but in a fact the committee cannot dispute, that each person is finally alone, Stanton makes education, property, and the ballot arrive as equipment withheld from someone already under fire rather than as favors a committee may bestow, so that a refusal stops being a judgment about women and becomes an admission about the men refusing.

Evidence The address begins where the committee already stands: "the individuality of each human soul — our Protestant idea, the right of individual conscience and judgment; our republican idea, individual citizenship." Commentary Nothing in that sentence is yet a women's question, which is its use. Stanton opens on two principles these men profess and would defend against anyone else, and the possessive enrolls them in the premise before they hear what it will cost: a committee practiced at answering petitions about women must answer a claim about Protestants and republicans. The pronoun does one thing more. A woman who cannot vote for the men she is addressing says "our republican idea," claiming the membership the hearing exists to withhold, and no one can object without conceding that the idea is not general.

Evidence The demand follows, with its reason held to the end: "The strongest reason for giving woman all the opportunities for higher education, for the full development of her faculties … is the solitude and personal responsibility of her own individual life." Commentary The deferral does the work. The committee hears everything she wants before it hears why, so it lands on a room already carrying the request, and it is not the reason these men had answers for. She never claims that women resemble men, a claim they could dispute; she claims that no one can stand in for anyone, which they would have to contradict their own experience to deny. The premise also disables the doctrine of protection these men lived by: protection is a promise about the hours when someone else is present, and solitude names the rest.

Evidence Then the argument turns from description to demand: "life must ever be a march and a battle, that each soldier must be equipped for his own protection," and therefore "it is the height of cruelty to rob the individual of a single natural right." Commentary The figure borrows the audience's own vocabulary of duty and changes the category of the request. Equipment is not a privilege awarded to the deserving; it is what anyone sent into a fight is owed, and the fight has started. "His own protection" keeps the soldier generic, so the committee grants the rule before it notices whom the rule covers. "Rob" then reassigns the parts: the men are not benefactors weighing a gift but holders of something that was never theirs, so their vote no longer confers a right; it returns one or keeps it.

Sophistication The shrewdness of that ground is also its limit. Evidence Stanton was seventy-six, forty-four years past the convention she had helped call, before a committee that had shelved such petitions for decades, and she brought no statistics and no precedent. Commentary Evidence had failed with these men, so she chose the one fact about them their power could not vote down: each of them will also stand alone at the end, and the speech is aimed at that, not at their politics. The cost sits inside the same move. Solitude can be conceded without conceding anything, a committee may agree that we all die alone and still table the amendment, and a condition no law can cure cannot by itself show why this law follows. The occasion strains against the claim as well: an argument for absolute self-sovereignty has to be made as a petition to men who hold that sovereignty in trust.

She does not ask the committee for generosity. She asks it to admit something about itself, then to look at what it is holding.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): "Grounding the case for women's rights not in justice and not in any likeness between women and men, but in a fact the committee cannot dispute … Stanton makes education, property, and the ballot arrive as equipment withheld from someone already under fire rather than as favors a committee may bestow." That is a defensible claim about a rhetorical choice and what it accomplishes for this audience, a reader could argue instead that the speech is a meditation that abandons persuasion, and it is neither a restatement of the prompt nor a list of devices. It also sets the order the body follows: borrowed premise, chosen ground, changed category.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): Three choices are developed rather than six named, each resting on short quoted evidence, "our Protestant idea … our republican idea"; "the solitude and personal responsibility of her own individual life"; "each soldier must be equipped for his own protection" and "rob the individual of a single natural right." Every quotation is followed by commentary explaining how the choice works on these listeners: the possessive enrolls the committee in the premise and simultaneously claims the citizenship under debate; the deferral makes the reason land on a room already holding the demand; the choice of solitude over likeness removes the objection the committee was prepared to make and undercuts its doctrine of protection; the generic soldier wins assent to a rule before revealing its scope, and "rob" converts a request into a charge. The claims stay inside one line of reasoning about an argument built so that refusal costs the refuser.
  • Row C: Sophistication (1/1): The essay takes the situated-context route and sustains it rather than mentioning the occasion once. It explains why an argument stripped of statistics and petitions is the right instrument for a committee that had shelved both for decades, and then names the limits of the strategy: solitude can be granted without any vote changing, and a condition no law can cure cannot by itself justify this law. It closes on a genuine tension in the rhetorical situation, a case for absolute self-sovereignty must be made as a petition to men who hold that sovereignty in trust, which is analysis of what the speech costs, not praise of it.

Rhetorical analysis 4 · 40 minutes

Woodrow Wilson had won re-election in 1916 on his record of keeping the United States out of the European war. On April 2, 1917, after Germany resumed unrestricted submarine warfare, he came before a joint session of Congress to ask for a declaration of war against a country most Americans had no wish to fight. Read the excerpts and the summary below carefully. Write an essay that analyzes the rhetorical choices Wilson makes to move a reluctant Congress and country to war.

Directions

You have forty minutes. Read the material twice: once for what Wilson is asking, once with a pencil, marking the places where the language does something to listeners who elected him for the opposite policy. Then begin with a defensible thesis: a claim about the choices Wilson makes and what those choices accomplish in this situation. A thesis that restates the prompt, summarizes the address, or names devices ("Wilson uses pathos, repetition, and diction") earns nothing in Row A. In the body, develop two or three choices rather than cataloguing six: quote a few words, then write commentary explaining how the choice works on a body of legislators who must vote. Analyze, do not summarize. Keep the claims in one line of reasoning. For sophistication, look for the tension the speech lives inside: a president asking for war while insisting that wanting war is exactly what he does not do.

The passage

Source: Woodrow Wilson, address to a joint session of Congress, April 2, 1917, three short excerpts with a summary of the whole.

Description of the address. The speech moves in three steps. Wilson first reviews Germany's return to unrestricted submarine warfare and the sinking of neutral and merchant shipping, presenting it as the fact that has changed. He then argues that armed neutrality is no longer practicable and asks Congress to accept the status of belligerent, setting out what mobilization will require. He closes by defining the aims of the war as impersonal and universal (not a quarrel with the German people, not a search for gain), and by accepting the cost of the decision he is requesting.

From the opening section, on the submarine campaign:

The present German submarine warfare against commerce is a warfare against mankind. … It is a war against all nations.

From the statement of aims:

We have no selfish ends to serve. We desire no conquest, no dominion. We seek no indemnities for ourselves, no material compensation for the sacrifices we shall freely make. … The world must be made safe for democracy.

From the closing movement:

It is a fearful thing to lead this great peaceful people into war … But the right is more precious than peace, and we shall fight for the things which we have always carried nearest our hearts.

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • Redefining the enemy's act so the audience is already at war. "A warfare against mankind … a war against all nations." Weak commentary calls this strong language. Strong commentary explains the logical work: if the submarine campaign is already a war against every nation, then Congress is not choosing to enter a war but recognizing one that exists, and a vote for the declaration becomes an acknowledgment rather than an act of aggression.
  • Negation as self-definition. "We have no selfish ends to serve. We desire no conquest, no dominion. We seek no indemnities." Three consecutive sentences define the country by what it will not take. Commentary should notice that this answers the objection Wilson's audience actually held, that Europe's war was a squabble over territory and spoils, by ruling out, in advance, every motive that would make the United States a participant in that squabble.
  • Abstraction as the stated goal. "The world must be made safe for democracy" names no territory, no enemy government to be replaced, no terms. Good essays explain both sides of that choice: an abstract aim is one no American family has to be persuaded to want, and it is also an aim with no visible finish line, which is what makes the sentence quotable and the commitment open-ended.
  • The reluctant-leader stance. "It is a fearful thing to lead this great peaceful people into war." Commentary should explain why the concession strengthens the request rather than weakening it: a speaker who names the horror of what he is asking cannot be accused of not having counted the cost, and the admission licenses the pivot that follows it.
  • A sophistication path. Hold the contradiction rather than resolving it: the address that disclaims all selfish ends is nonetheless asking for the largest mobilization in the country's history, and the speech's power depends on being delivered by the man who had just campaigned on staying out. A strong Row C essay can also name the cost of the abstraction: aims stated as universals are difficult to declare satisfied, and the same sentences that made the war easy to enter made its settlement hard to define.
Show a 6/6 sample response

Five months before he stood in front of Congress, Woodrow Wilson had been re-elected by a country that wanted no part of Europe's war, and by an argument that he had kept it out. On April 2, 1917 he had to ask the same body of politicians to reverse that position and vote for the largest mobilization in the nation's history. Thesis He manages the reversal by never presenting it as one: he redefines Germany's submarine campaign so that the war already exists and Congress is merely recognizing it, he defines American purposes entirely by the gains the country refuses to take, and he raises the aim to an abstraction no listener could object to wanting, so that the vote he requests arrives as an acknowledgment of facts and principles rather than as a change of mind.

Evidence The first move is a redefinition: "The present German submarine warfare against commerce is a warfare against mankind. … It is a war against all nations." Commentary The sentences look like outrage and function as a syllogism. If the campaign is a war against all nations, then the United States is already one of the nations at war, and the question before Congress is no longer whether to begin something but whether to admit something. That distinction matters enormously to the men in the chamber, many of whom had promised constituents they would not take the country into a European conflict: Wilson is offering them a vote that is technically consistent with the promise. The scope of the phrasing does the rest, "mankind," "all nations", since neutrality is only a coherent position when a war has sides, and this one, as described, has none.

Evidence Having established that the country is in, he defines what it is in for by naming what it refuses: "We have no selfish ends to serve. We desire no conquest, no dominion. We seek no indemnities for ourselves, no material compensation for the sacrifices we shall freely make." Commentary Three sentences in a row are built on negation, and each one closes off a motive rather than supplying one. This is precisely targeted at the objection his audience held. The standard American argument against intervention was that the war was a dynastic quarrel over territory, markets and reparations, and that entering it meant becoming another claimant. By enumerating those claims and disclaiming each in turn, Wilson does not argue that the objection is wrong; he removes his country from the category the objection describes. The final clause turns the absence of gain into a credential: sacrifices made "freely," with nothing sought in return, make the participant a different kind of belligerent from the ones already fighting.

Evidence Only then does the aim appear, and it is stated as a universal: "The world must be made safe for democracy." Commentary The sentence names no province, no border, no government to be replaced, and no condition whose satisfaction could be checked. That abstraction is what makes it usable. A concrete war aim (a port, a colony, an indemnity) invites the question of whether it is worth American lives, and different listeners will answer differently; an aim pitched at the level of "the world" and "democracy" cannot be refused without appearing to refuse the principles the audience already believes it holds. The passive construction helps too, since "must be made" states a necessity without naming who imposes it, so the obligation seems to arise from the situation rather than from the speaker asking for votes.

Commentary The closing movement then concedes what the whole speech has been arranging: "It is a fearful thing to lead this great peaceful people into war … But the right is more precious than peace." The admission is what earns the pivot. A speaker who has said plainly that the thing he is asking for is terrible cannot be told he has failed to weigh it, and the conjunction that follows does not argue against the horror: it accepts the horror and outranks it.

Sophistication The address is held together by a contradiction it never resolves: it is a war message whose central claim is that the speaker's country does not want anything a war can win. That tension is the source of its persuasive power, since the disclaimed motives are exactly the ones his listeners feared, and it is also the source of its later cost. Aims defined as universals are almost impossible to declare satisfied; the same abstraction that made the vote easy in April 1917 left nothing concrete to point at when the peace had to be written, and Wilson would spend the rest of his presidency arguing about what "safe for democracy" had meant. The speech also depends entirely on its speaker. From a politician who had campaigned for intervention, the disclaimers would read as cover; from the man who had just won an election for staying out, they read as reluctant testimony, which is why the same words could not have been delivered by anyone else in the room.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): The introduction closes on a defensible claim about the choices and their effect (that Wilson presents a reversal as a recognition, defines the country by refused gains, and raises the aim to an unopposable abstraction), and that claim sets the order of the body paragraphs. It is not a restatement of the prompt and not a list of devices.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): Three choices are developed rather than six named, each anchored in quoted evidence: "a warfare against mankind … a war against all nations"; the three sentences of disclaimer; "The world must be made safe for democracy", and each quotation is followed by commentary that explains how it works on legislators who must vote: the redefinition converts a decision into an acknowledgment; the negations answer the specific objection the audience held; the abstraction removes the grounds on which the aim could be refused. The closing concession is analyzed as the consequence of the earlier moves, so the argument builds in one line of reasoning.
  • Row C: Sophistication (1/1): The final paragraph names a real tension, a war message that disclaims every gain a war can produce, holds it open rather than tidying it away, and states the cost: universal aims are hard to declare met, and the rhetoric that made entry easy made the settlement undefinable. The speaker and occasion are used analytically, explaining why these words work from Wilson in particular and would not work from anyone else.

Rhetorical analysis 5 · 40 minutes

A year after leaving the presidency, Theodore Roosevelt spoke at the Sorbonne in Paris on April 23, 1910, addressing the university's faculty and students: an audience whose work is the study and criticism of what other people do: on the duties of citizens in a republic. Read the passage carefully. Write an essay that analyzes the rhetorical choices Roosevelt makes to convey his message about who deserves a republic's credit.

Directions

Forty minutes. Spend the first five reading the passage twice and marking the places where Roosevelt does something on purpose, where a sentence refuses to end, where a word is withheld, where he gives ground he did not have to give. Then write an essay with a defensible thesis that makes a claim about the rhetorical choices in this passage and what they accomplish for this audience; a thesis that restates the prompt, summarizes what Roosevelt says, or lists devices earns nothing in Row A. Support every claim with specific evidence (short quoted phrases, not block quotations), and follow each piece with commentary that explains how the choice serves Roosevelt's purpose, not merely that he made it. Arrange the claims into a line of reasoning that develops rather than repeats. Analyze choices; do not list devices and do not summarize. Naming “anaphora” or “metaphor” earns nothing by itself; explaining what the repetition does to a listener does. Two or three choices developed in depth beat six identified in passing. Aim also for sophistication: name a real tension in the passage, situate it in the moment and the audience that produced it, or explain what the strategy costs.

The passage

Source: Theodore Roosevelt, "Citizenship in a Republic," address at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910 (excerpt).

Roosevelt had left office in March 1909 and spent the following year hunting in East Africa; the Sorbonne address was the centerpiece of a European tour on which he was received less like a private citizen than like a visiting head of state. The audience filling the great amphitheater was the university's faculty and students, together with French ministers and members of the diplomatic corps, and American newspapers printed the speech within days, so he was speaking to two rooms at once, one of them at home and full of people who had spent seven years appraising his presidency. This passage comes from the section on the duties of the individual citizen.

The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer. … It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; … who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • The negative definition: saying who does not count before saying who does… Roosevelt spends a full sentence on the person he is dismissing (“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles”) and withholds the positive term until the next sentence. Useful commentary explains what the withholding buys: the audience has to hold an empty category open, so that whoever arrives to fill it is already contrasted with the listeners' own profession. Note too that the dismissal concedes the critic's accuracy, the strong man does stumble, and denies only his standing. That distinction is the hinge of the whole passage, and it sets the line of reasoning that fits this text best: Roosevelt is moving an audience of judges from the question who is right? to the question who is owed the credit?
  • The extended figure of the arena… The positive definition, when it comes, is not a definition but a location: “the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood.” One figure then governs everything after it: striving, erring, daring, triumph, defeat. Commentary that is not restatement says what the figure imports and what it does to the room. An arena has seats as well as sand, so building one assigns the audience a place in it without ever naming them; the critic is not insulted, he is simply seated. “Dust and sweat and blood” also converts an abstraction (civic duty) into a body that can be looked at, which is how a moral claim gets the force of a physical fact.
  • The piling of clauses: the chain of parallel “who” phrases and participles… Six clauses hang on one repeated pronoun, chained with semicolons, with the participial “marred by dust and sweat and blood” hung off the first. A weak essay names this as anaphora or parallelism and stops. A strong one explains the effect: no clause closes the thought, none offers a stopping place, and the sentence runs far past the point where a listener expects relief, so the syntax delivers the exhaustion of sustained effort before any word reports it. The passage makes an audience feel what it would be embarrassed to be told.
  • The concession that the doer errs… Roosevelt does not claim the actor succeeds. His man “errs,” “comes short again and again,” and may fail outright: “because there is no effort without error and shortcoming.” This is the strongest objection to Roosevelt's own position, and he raises it himself, which is what makes it worth analyzing. Commentary should show the move working: once failure is written into the definition of the actor, a catalogue of a doer's mistakes can no longer refute him, only confirm what the definition predicted. Notice also the cost the closing clause attaches to the safe position, “those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat”, so that the audience's alternative is not prudence but timidity.
  • The audience: a French university with the American reader over its shoulder… Everything above is aimed at two rooms. In Paris, Roosevelt is a guest lecturing on citizenship in a republic, a subject the French Third Republic had its own stake in; at home, he is a former president whose record had been called reckless, speaking where the papers would quote him within the week. A sophistication path runs straight through that double address: explain why the argument arrives as a figure rather than a defense, the arena answers his critics without conceding that he has any, and then name what the strategy costs. A standard built on striving cannot by itself separate effort in a worthy cause from effort in a disastrous one, and “a worthy cause” is asserted, never tested. A single sentence gesturing at “a deeper meaning” will not earn Row C; a tension traced through the essay will.
Show a 6/6 sample response

Roosevelt came to the Sorbonne as a former president speaking to a room whose profession is to evaluate what other people do, and he had spent seven years being evaluated by it. The passage is usually quoted as encouragement; it is better read as an argument about which kind of citizen a republic depends on, delivered to the kind it argues against. Thesis By defining the worthy citizen negatively before naming him, sustaining a single physical figure through an accumulating chain of clauses, and conceding in advance that the actor fails, Roosevelt makes effort rather than judgment the measure of citizenship, and gets a room of judges to accept it without being told they fall short.

Evidence He opens with a subtraction: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.” Commentary The sentence spends its whole length on the person it dismisses, and the dismissal is oddly generous: it grants that the strong man does stumble and that the deeds could have been done better. What Roosevelt denies is not the accuracy of criticism but its standing. Clearing the field before anyone arrives to fill it forces the audience to hold an empty category open for the length of a sentence, so that whoever enters it is already defined against what the listeners do for a living. The delay is the argument: credit does not go first to the observer.

Evidence When the positive definition comes it is not a definition but a place, “the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood”, and the clauses then pile up on one repeated pronoun: “who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again … who spends himself in a worthy cause.” Commentary An arena has seats, and the moment Roosevelt builds one he has given his listeners a location in it without naming them; the critic is not attacked, he is seated. The syntax then makes the audience perform what it describes. No clause closes the thought, none offers a stopping place, and the sentence runs past where a listener expects relief, so its shape delivers the exhaustion of effort before its words report it.

Evidence The most disciplined choice is the concession. The man in the arena “errs,” “comes short again and again,” and may fail outright, “because there is no effort without error and shortcoming.” Commentary Roosevelt hands the critic his best evidence before the critic can produce it. Once failure is written into the definition of the actor, no catalogue of a doer's mistakes can work as a refutation; it can only confirm what the definition predicted. The clause beginning “because” converts shortcoming from a fact about one man into a property of effort itself. The ending then raises the price of safety: whoever declines the arena is left with “those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” Nobody present is called timid; timidity is simply made the only remaining place to stand.

Sophistication The strategy is shaped by a constraint Roosevelt could not mention. Evidence He was a private citizen abroad who meant to hold office again, speaking where American papers would quote him within the week, and the Sorbonne let him address “citizenship in a republic” in general while answering, in particular, everyone at home who had called his presidency reckless. Commentary That is why the argument arrives as a figure rather than a defense: the arena answers his critics without admitting he has any. The costs are visible from here. A standard built on striving cannot separate effort in a worthy cause from effort in a catastrophic one, and Roosevelt supplies the phrase “a worthy cause” without supplying a test for it; a doctrine that makes criticism sound like cowardice is also convenient for a man with a record to defend.

A century of quotation has worn the passage down to encouragement. In the amphitheater where it was given it is something harder: a man asking the people best equipped to judge him to surrender the authority to do it, and very nearly getting away with it.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): “By defining the worthy citizen negatively before naming him, sustaining a single physical figure through an accumulating chain of clauses, and conceding in advance that the actor fails, Roosevelt makes effort rather than judgment the measure of citizenship, and gets a room of judges to accept it without being told they fall short.” It is a claim about what the choices accomplish for this audience, not a list of devices and not a summary, and it is defensible because a reader could reasonably argue instead that the passage flatters rather than converts its listeners. It also names the three choices in the order the body takes them, so the line of reasoning is set in the first paragraph.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): The line of reasoning moves from what Roosevelt withholds, to the figure he substitutes for a definition, to the ground he concedes: each step raising the cost of the critic's position. Every claim rests on specific quoted evidence: “It is not the critic who counts,” “marred by dust and sweat and blood,” the chain of “who” clauses, “because there is no effort without error and shortcoming,” and “those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” Each piece is followed by commentary that explains how the choice serves the purpose rather than restating it: the negative opening as a held-open category, the arena as a place that seats the audience without naming it, the unstopping syntax as exhaustion delivered before it is described, and the concession as a pre-emption that converts any future catalogue of failures into confirmation. Three distinct rhetorical choices are explained, which is what separates 4 from 3.
  • Row C: Sophistication (1/1): The essay takes the situated-context route and sustains it. The opening sentence establishes the audience's profession and Roosevelt's history with it; the fifth paragraph explains what he could not say out loud in Paris and why that forces the argument into a figure; and the same idea closes the essay. It then names the limits of the strategy (striving cannot distinguish a worthy cause from a catastrophic one, and the phrase “a worthy cause” is asserted rather than tested), which is analysis of the passage's cost, not a compliment to it. The point is earned across the essay rather than in one sentence.

Argument 1 · 40 minutes

In “Self-Reliance” (1841), Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.” Write an essay that argues your position on the extent to which a person's integrity depends on refusing to conform.

Directions

You have 40 minutes and no sources; everything comes from what you have read, watched, studied, and lived. Respond to the prompt with a defensible thesis that takes a real position on how far integrity depends on refusing to conform: a qualified position (true in these conditions, false in those) is fully defensible and is usually the strongest choice here. Support your position with specific evidence drawn from more than one domain: what you have read, what you know of history, what you have observed, what has happened to you. Named, dated, particular evidence does work that “people often” and “society today” cannot. Every piece of evidence needs commentary that explains how it proves the claim it sits under, and the claims together must form a line of reasoning a reader can follow. Take the strongest version of the other side seriously rather than a straw one. Finally, make one sophistication move: name the conditions under which your position would fail, situate the question in a broader context, or concede a real counterargument and show why your position survives it.

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • A defensible position on this question sounds like… “Integrity requires a willingness to refuse, but almost nothing about refusal itself: what it actually requires is a standard the person has tested,” or the opposite, “because the pressure to agree is invisible and constant, the habit of refusing is the only reliable protection integrity has,” or a conditional position: “nonconformity proves integrity only when the refusal costs the refuser something.” What does not score: restating Emerson, defining integrity and stopping, or announcing that “there must be a balance” without saying where the balance sits and why.
  • Evidence that actually proves it… named and particular. Figures who broke with their professions and paid for it; a character whose refusal is famous (Melville's Bartleby, Sophocles' Antigone, Huck Finn in chapter 31); a documented finding about group pressure such as Asch's line-judgment experiments; and one thing you have actually watched happen: a team, a class, a family, a job. A reader can tell the difference between evidence and a rumor about evidence: “studies show people conform” is a rumor, “about a third of the answers in Asch's critical trials followed a majority that was plainly wrong” is evidence.
  • The strongest objection, and how to concede it… the honest case for Emerson is not that crowds are stupid but that agreement is invisible: people cannot audit a standard they do not know they hold, so a standing habit of refusal is the only way to make the unexamined visible. Concede that and answer it: name what tells a person which conformities are load-bearing, and what the refusal is for. An essay that argues against a cartoon conformist (“people just follow trends”) leaves Row C on the table.
  • Commentary that is not restatement… after Bartleby, do not write “this shows he was a nonconformist.” Write what his refusal lacks: a reason. Ask of each example what the person was loyal to while they were disobeying, because that is the sentence that turns an anecdote into proof. Each paragraph should end on your reasoning, not on the example.
  • A sophistication path… situate Emerson's sentence in its own rhetorical situation (a corrective addressed to a young country he thought was reading its opinions off a borrowed shelf, not a definition of virtue), and note what happens to the sentence when nonconformity becomes a style that can be bought. Or take the harder route and name the conditions under which your own position fails: a society in which the load-bearing conformities are themselves the injustice. A single clever last line will not earn this point.
Show a 6/6 sample response

Emerson wrote for a country he thought was still reading its opinions off an English shelf, and as a corrective the sentence is bracing. As a definition it fails: it measures integrity by an outcome, friction with the crowd, rather than by what produces the friction. Thesis A person's integrity depends heavily on the willingness to refuse and hardly at all on refusal itself: what integrity requires is a standard the person has examined and is prepared to pay for, and nonconformity is the bill that standard occasionally presents. Refusal with no standard behind it is not integrity but temperament.

Evidence Melville's Bartleby is the pure case. Asked to copy, to proofread, to move, and finally to eat, the scrivener answers “I would prefer not to,” and dies in the Tombs. Commentary No one in American literature conforms less, and no one is less a model of integrity, because Bartleby never names a reason, never appeals to a standard, and never claims his refusal is right. He satisfies Emerson's sentence completely while emptying it: “nonconformist” names a relationship to other people, not a commitment, and one can hold the relationship while holding no commitment at all.

Evidence Set against him, put Huck Finn in chapter 31, tearing up the letter that would return Jim to slavery: “All right, then, I'll go to hell.” Commentary Huck's integrity is not that he defies Missouri law and his church; it is what he obeys instead: an obligation to one person, tested against everything he was taught, that he believes will cost him eternity. He is not refusing to conform but conforming to a rival standard, and paying the higher price for it. The defiance is the receipt, not the purchase, which is why we admire him and not Bartleby.

Evidence The point is not only literary. In 1847 Ignaz Semmelweis noticed that the Vienna clinic staffed by doctors coming straight from the autopsy room lost far more mothers than the clinic staffed by midwives; he ordered chlorine handwashing, and deaths in that ward fell from roughly eighteen percent in the worst months to about two. Commentary His colleagues rejected him, and the defiance is the part the story is told for, but he was right because of the mortality table, not because he was defiant. Reverse it: his colleagues were also refusing to conform, to the evidence, and their refusal cost lives. Nonconformity has no moral direction of its own.

Evidence The strongest objection to my position is not that crowds are wise but that agreement is invisible, and Asch's line-judgment experiments are its honest version: asked to match a line's length against a unanimous, plainly wrong majority, subjects went along on roughly a third of the critical trials, and three in four conformed at least once. Commentary They were ordinary people who could not see the pressure that moved them. If conformity works below the level a person can audit, a habit of refusal looks less like temperament than like a defense, and I concede the force of that. But the same experiment answers it: when a single dissenter broke with the majority, conformity collapsed to a fraction of itself. What rescued them was not a disposition to refuse: it was one ally, one external standard to check themselves against.

Evidence I watch the same thing every week in the pit band I play in. Forty people tune to one oboe's A, sit where the chart says, and count rests nobody chose, and that conformity is what makes a sixteen-bar solo audible. Commentary Most of what we conform to is load-bearing in just this way: the language we argue in, the appointment we keep, the merge lane. The useful question is never whether to conform but which conformities carry weight and which only carry habit, and telling them apart takes examination, not attitude. Sophistication Emerson knew it, which is why his sentence addresses one audience in one decade rather than stating a universal law: he prescribed for a national deficiency, and a prescription is not a diet. It has since been overtaken by its own success: nonconformity is now a style that can be bought, and refusing to conform has become a reliable way to belong, the clearest proof that the test cannot be the refusal. Integrity is what you would still hold to if the crowd happened to agree with you, and the only way to know is to have checked.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): “A person's integrity depends heavily on the willingness to refuse and hardly at all on refusal itself… nonconformity is the bill that standard occasionally presents.” It takes a position a reasonable reader could dispute, splits the prompt's term rather than restating it, and is qualified in a way that sets up the line of reasoning the body follows.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): Five specific pieces of evidence from four domains: literature (Bartleby; Huck Finn, chapter 31), history of science (Semmelweis, Vienna, 1847, with the mortality figures), social science (Asch's critical trials and the lone-dissenter condition), and direct observation (the pit band tuning to one A). The line of reasoning is visible: refusal without a standard is empty → the cases we admire are loyalty to a rival standard → nonconformity has no moral direction of its own → conformity is often load-bearing, so the work is examination. Commentary explains how each case proves its claim, Bartleby “never names a reason,” Huck's defiance is “the receipt, not the purchase,” Semmelweis “was right because of the mortality table, not because he was defiant.”
  • Row C, Sophistication (1/1): The essay concedes the strongest form of the opposing argument (that conformity works below the level a person can audit, which would make a habit of refusal a genuine defense), and answers it from inside the same evidence rather than dismissing it. It then situates Emerson's claim in its own rhetorical situation (a corrective for one country in one decade, not a definition) and names what has happened to the claim since, when nonconformity became a purchasable style. The complication is developed across the last two paragraphs, not asserted in a final sentence.

Argument 2 · 40 minutes

In “Corn-Pone Opinions” (written 1901, published 1923), Mark Twain argued that most of what people call their own views are borrowed, without examination, from the people around them: “It is our nature to conform; it is a force which not many can successfully resist.” Write an essay that argues your position on the extent to which independent opinion is possible.

Directions

You have 40 minutes and no sources; the evidence comes from what you have read, studied, observed, and lived through. Respond with a defensible thesis that takes a position on how far independent opinion is possible, and notice that the prompt asks about possibility, not about frequency, so “most people don't bother” is not yet an answer. A qualified position (possible under these conditions, not under those) is fully defensible and is usually the strongest choice. Support the position with specific evidence from more than one domain: a book or play you know well, a documented case from history or science, something you have watched happen in a classroom, a team, a family, or a job. Each piece needs commentary explaining how it proves the claim it sits under, and the claims must add up to a line of reasoning. Meet the strongest version of Twain's argument rather than a weak one: he is not claiming that people are stupid. Finally, make one sophistication move: name the conditions under which your position fails, situate the question in a larger one, or concede a real counterargument and show why your position survives it.

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • A defensible position on this question sounds like… “Independent opinion is possible, but never as a personal quality: it is produced by procedures that let the world contradict us,” or, taking Twain's side, “what passes for independence is only a rotation among the conformities on offer,” or a conditional position: “independence is available on questions where being wrong carries a cost, and nearly unavailable where it carries none.” What does not score: restating Twain in other words; “everyone is influenced, but you can still be yourself”; or a definition of independence with no claim attached.
  • Evidence that actually proves it… named and checkable. A documented reversal of expert opinion (Wegener's continental drift, dismissed from 1912 until the seafloor magnetic evidence of the 1960s); a character who changes her mind on evidence rather than on mood (Elizabeth Bennet after Darcy's letter in chapter 36); a procedure you have personally been subjected to: debate sides drawn at random, blind grading, a lab result you had to report even though it contradicted your prediction; and Twain's own fashion example, which is stronger than most students expect. “Studies have shown that people conform” proves nothing; the Asch trials or a named reversal do.
  • The strongest objection, and how to concede it… the regress. Whatever procedure you credit with rescuing independent judgment (peer review, the scientific method, the habit of reading the other side) you were taught to trust by the same household Twain says supplies your opinions, so it is corn pone one level up. Concede that honestly, then answer it with a criterion rather than an assertion: an inherited habit that can be embarrassed by the world is not the same as one that cannot. An essay that ignores the regress cannot reach Row C.
  • Commentary that is not restatement… after the Wegener case, do not write “this shows people can change their minds.” Say what changed them, an instrument that could contradict them, and what that implies about where independence actually lives: in the arrangement rather than in the individual. Every example in this prompt should end in a claim about the mechanism, not about the person's character.
  • A sophistication path… notice the performative tension in Twain's own essay: if conformity were as total as he says, he could not have written it and we could not recognize it as true, so the essay is evidence against the strongest reading of its own claim. Or separate independence of origin from independence of maintenance: nobody chooses where an opinion starts, but the willingness to name what would change it is a real and testable difference. Or situate the essay in its rhetorical situation: written in 1901, unpublished until 1923, and addressed to an audience Twain expected to exempt itself.
Show a 6/6 sample response

Twain's sentence makes two claims, and only the first survives inspection. That most opinions are absorbed rather than reasoned is obvious to anyone who has noticed how reliably a person's views on unrelated questions track the company they keep. Thesis But inheritance is not a life sentence. Independent opinion is possible, not as a starting condition or an act of will, but as an achievement produced by procedures that force a belief into contact with facts capable of embarrassing it. The test of independence is therefore not where an opinion came from but whether anything in the world could change it.

Evidence Twain deserves more credit than rebuttals usually give him. His example is fashion: a new silhouette looks ridiculous when it appears and then, once enough people wear it, simply looks correct, and nobody experiences the change as surrender. Commentary That part is hard to escape, because it names a mechanism operating below argument entirely. You cannot reason your way out of a pressure you never noticed, which is why “I just think for myself” is among the least reliable sentences in the language. Any defense of independence has to start by granting that the raw material of most opinions is secondhand.

Evidence But origin and fate are different questions, and the history of science shows the difference most clearly. Alfred Wegener proposed in 1912 that the continents had drifted apart, and for half a century the profession dismissed him: he was a meteorologist, he had no mechanism, and the consensus against him was corn pone in Twain's exact sense. What overturned it was not courage. In 1963 Vine and Matthews showed that the magnetic stripes on the ocean floor lay symmetrically on either side of the mid-ocean ridges, and within a decade the field had reversed itself. Commentary Individual geologists did not become braver; they had built an instrument able to contradict them, and it did. Independence there was not a personal virtue but a property of a procedure the community had agreed in advance to be bound by.

Evidence Literature shows the same mechanism at human scale. Elizabeth Bennet's opinion of Darcy in Pride and Prejudice is pure inheritance: she believes Wickham because he is charming, because her circle finds him charming, and because she has already decided what Darcy is. She changes her mind only when Darcy's letter gives her claims she can check against what she already knows (Wickham's sudden departures, his convenient stories), and she says afterward, “Till this moment I never knew myself.” Commentary Austen is careful about the order: the evidence comes first and the self-knowledge follows. Elizabeth does not resolve to be independent; she is cornered by facts she cannot dismiss, and independence is what the cornering produces.

Evidence I have watched a small version of this all year. In my debate class the sides are drawn from a hat, so you spend a week building the best case for the position you walked in disliking and answering the strongest objections to it. Commentary More people change their minds in that week than in a month of arguing online, and the reason is structural rather than moral: the procedure makes it impossible to treat the other side as stupid, which is the move that keeps a borrowed opinion comfortable.

Evidence The strongest objection is that I have only moved the problem. The procedures are inherited too: you trust peer review, or the hat, or Austen's kind of evidence because of the household and school you came from; corn pone one level up. Commentary I concede the regress; what I deny is that it makes the levels equivalent. An inherited habit that can be embarrassed by the world is not the same as one that cannot, and the difference is testable in one question: what would have to be true for me to give this up? A geologist in 1963 could answer it, and Twain's fashionable lady could not. Sophistication Twain's essay is itself the best evidence for the limited independence it denies: if conformity were as complete as he claims, he could not have written it and we could not recognize it as true. He wrote it in 1901 and it stayed unpublished until 1923, thirteen years after his death: what an opinion looks like when it has outrun its audience rather than obeyed it. Independence is possible in the way a straight line is possible: not by willing it, but by keeping the instruments.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): “Independent opinion is possible, not as a starting condition or an act of will, but as an achievement produced by procedures that force a belief into contact with facts capable of embarrassing it.” It answers the question of extent, takes a position a reasonable reader could dispute, and supplies the criterion the rest of the essay applies, so it sets up the line of reasoning rather than restating the prompt.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): Four specific pieces of evidence from three domains: Twain's fashion example, the history of science (Wegener 1912; Vine and Matthews 1963), literature (Elizabeth Bennet and Darcy's letter), and direct observation (debate sides drawn at random). The line of reasoning is visible: the diagnosis is right → origin does not settle whether a belief can be revised → the revisions we can document were caused by procedures, not by character → therefore independence lives in arrangements a person can enter. The commentary explains how in each case: geologists “had built an instrument able to contradict them,” Austen's order puts “the evidence first and the self-knowledge second,” and the debate draw works because it blocks the move that keeps a borrowed opinion comfortable.
  • Row C: Sophistication (1/1): The essay concedes the strongest objection (the regress, that the procedures are inherited too) instead of avoiding it, and answers it with a usable criterion rather than an assertion: an inherited habit that can be embarrassed by the world differs from one that cannot, and the difference shows up in a question anyone can be asked. It then reads Twain's essay against its own claim, using the performative tension and the essay's publication history as part of the argument. The complication runs through the whole final paragraph rather than arriving as a closing flourish.

Argument 3 · 40 minutes

Benjamin Franklin's “The Way to Wealth” (1758) collects proverbs holding that lost time is never found again and that idleness is the costliest expense. Write an essay that argues your position on the value of time that is not spent productively.

Directions

Forty minutes, no sources: every piece of evidence comes from what you have read, studied, watched, or lived. Open with a thesis that takes a defensible position on what unproductive time is worth: a position a reasonable person could argue against, not a summary of Franklin and not a report that there are two sides. Support it with specific evidence: named books, named events, named policies, or an observation precise enough that a reader can picture it. After each piece, write commentary that explains how it proves the claim rather than restating it, and arrange your claims so they build a line of reasoning instead of sitting in a pile. Make one sophistication move somewhere in the essay: name the real tension in the question, concede the strongest form of the other side and show why your position survives it, or situate the question in a wider context and explain what follows. A qualified position, unproductive time is valuable under these conditions and wasteful under those, is fully defensible and is usually the strongest thing to argue.

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • A defensible position on this question sounds like… “Unproductive time is not waste but the stage where thinking gets finished,” or “Franklin is right, and the modern defense of idleness is mostly a defense of avoidance,” or the qualified version that scores just as well: “Time with nothing assigned to it is valuable exactly when a person has already done the work it is meant to digest.” What earns nothing: restating the proverb, announcing that “time management is important,” or writing a paragraph for each side and never choosing.
  • Evidence that actually proves it… Reading that thinks about leisure and labor directly (Thoreau at Walden, Franklin's almanac itself, Poincaré on where solutions arrive); public life that put a price on unproductive hours (the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 and the forty-hour week, the Yosemite Grant of 1864, the National Park Service in 1916, school recess policy, a company's vacation rules); and one observation of your own reported with real detail: a schedule you kept, a season you overloaded, what the work looked like afterward. Three specific pieces from at least two of those domains beat eight vague ones.
  • Weak moves readers see on this prompt… The hustle essay (“successful people wake up at five”) with no named person; the burnout essay that asserts stress without showing a consequence; treating “unproductive” and “doing nothing at all” as the same thing when the interesting cases are reading, walking, talking, and playing; and evidence dropped without commentary: naming the forty-hour week and moving on proves nothing until you say what the law admits about human attention.
  • A qualification path… Grant Franklin his real audience: he wrote for people in debt, and for someone working two jobs an idle hour is a bill, not a stage of thought. Say so plainly and then name the condition your claim actually depends on: that the person has already loaded the problem, or that the hour is genuinely theirs. A limit stated in your own words strengthens the position; a limit you pretend not to see is the thing a reader will find first.
  • A sophistication path… Show that the question is not idleness against industry but who gets to own an hour, and that “rest is valuable” is a claim about access as much as about attitude, which is why the strongest evidence is legislated (the weekend, the park) rather than advisory. Or run the distinction Franklin's admirers skip: rest restores the capacity to work, avoidance protects you from it, and the two can look identical from outside for an afternoon and never for a month.
Show a 6/6 sample response

Franklin was writing for people who owed money. “The Way to Wealth” imagines an old man addressing a crowd outside an auction, and for eighteenth-century debtors the proverbs were sound: an idle hour really was daylight gone from a field that fed you. The sayings outlived that audience. Two and a half centuries later they get pointed at a sixteen-year-old's Tuesday afternoon, as though an unbilled hour were a debt. Thesis Time that produces nothing measurable is not wasted time; it is the raw material out of which attention, judgment, and invention are made, and the idleness Franklin was right to condemn is far narrower than his admirers think, not rest, but avoidance.

Evidence The most famous defense of doing nothing was written by a man keeping close accounts. Thoreau itemizes the cost of his cabin at Walden down to the half-cent, then tells us he sat in his doorway on summer mornings from sunrise until noon, and that he loves “a broad margin to my life.” Commentary The metaphor is the argument. A margin produces no text; it is the blank space a text needs in order to be readable at all. He is not claiming those mornings wrote his book; he is claiming that a life filled edge to edge cannot be read by the person living it: that without empty space you lose the ability to tell which of your commitments you chose and which you merely inherited. That capacity never appears in Franklin's ledger, because it is not an output.

Evidence In Science and Method (1908), Henri Poincaré reported that the idea which unlocked a problem he had attacked fruitlessly for weeks arrived as he stepped onto a bus at Coutances, mid-conversation about something else. Commentary His point is not that the bus did the mathematics, the weeks of failure loaded the problem, but that the last step required an interval with nothing assigned to it. Productive and unproductive hours are not competitors, then: the second is a stage of the first, and scheduling it away deletes the stage where the parts combine.

Evidence Societies have already priced this. Congress set the standard workweek at forty hours in the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938, phasing down from forty-four, and required a penalty rate for every hour past it; Lincoln signed the Yosemite Grant in 1864 and Congress created the National Park Service in 1916, committing public land and money to places whose whole purpose is time spent producing nothing. Commentary Neither decision was charity. Both are admissions written into law that a country running its people at full output gets less out of them: fewer safe workers, fewer inventions, fewer citizens with energy left to notice how they are governed. The market would never have bought the weekend: its value does not show up on the balance sheet it improves.

Evidence I tested Franklin's advice by accident last spring. Trying to pull my grades up, I cut six weeks into fifteen-minute blocks (reading, problem sets, running, meals) with nothing left unassigned. Commentary Output went up and quality fell in a way I could measure. I wrote a history essay inside three timed blocks and earned my lowest score of the year: the argument was the first one that occurred to me, and I never had an idle half hour in which to notice it was thin. The schedule spared me the discomfort of an unfinished thought, and that discomfort is precisely what makes a person revise. Full occupancy is not full use.

Sophistication Franklin still deserves an answer on his own ground, because his audience was real: for someone working two jobs, or for a student whose family needs his paycheck more than his margins, an unproductive hour is not a stage of thought but a bill. That is the honest limit of my position, and admitting it changes the argument: not idleness against industry, but who gets to own an hour. Commentary Defending unproductive time is only worth doing if it is defended for everybody, which is why the weekend and the national park are the right evidence and the self-help shelf is not: one is access, the other advice.

Franklin was right that lost time is never found again. He was wrong about what counts as losing it. An hour with nothing in it is not lost; it is the hour in which the other hours get sorted, and the people quickest to call it waste are usually the ones who have never been denied one.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): “Time that produces nothing measurable is not wasted time; it is the raw material out of which attention, judgment, and invention are made, and the idleness Franklin was right to condemn is far narrower than his admirers think, not rest, but avoidance.” It takes a side a reasonable person could dispute, and the second clause concedes ground on purpose, which sets up the line of reasoning rather than hedging.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): The line of reasoning runs from what unproductive time does for one mind (Thoreau's margin, Poincaré's bus at Coutances) to what it does for a country (the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938, the Yosemite Grant of 1864, the Park Service in 1916) to what its absence did to one student's work (the fifteen-minute blocks and the worst essay of the year). Every claim has specific evidence behind it from three domains (reading, public life, personal observation), and every piece is followed by commentary that explains how it proves the claim: the margin is a capacity and not an output, the bus is the stage where loaded parts combine, the forty-hour week is a legal admission about attention, and the timed essay shows the cost of a day with no slack in it.
  • Row C: Sophistication (1/1): The sixth paragraph takes the concession route and then the broader-context route. It grants Franklin his strongest case, the person for whom an idle hour is a bill, and instead of retreating, uses the concession to reframe the question as one of access rather than attitude, which is why the essay's public evidence is legislation and not advice. The move is set up by the first paragraph and paid off in the last.

Argument 4 · 40 minutes

Speaking at Canandaigua, New York, in 1857, Frederick Douglass said that power concedes nothing without a demand: it never did and it never will. Write an essay that argues your position on whether meaningful change requires confrontation.

Directions

Forty minutes, no sources: your evidence comes from history, public life, what you have read, and what you have watched happen. Begin by taking a defensible position on Douglass's claim, a position a reasonable person could dispute, and say early what you mean by confrontation, since the word can cover a picket line, a lawsuit, a boycott, a refusal, or a demand made out loud in a room where it cannot be filed away. Support the position with specific evidence: named movements, named laws, named people, dates, or an episode you witnessed closely enough to report in detail. Follow each piece with commentary that explains how it proves the claim rather than restating it, and order your claims into a line of reasoning a reader can follow. Make one sophistication move: name the real tension in the question, concede the strongest counterargument and show why your position survives it, or explain the limits and implications of your position. A qualified answer (necessary under these conditions, unnecessary under those) is fully defensible.

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • A defensible position on this question sounds like… “Confrontation is necessary whenever somebody benefits from the present arrangement, and unnecessary when nobody does,” or “Douglass is right that change begins with a demand but wrong that the demand does the work,” or a flat disagreement defended with cases: “The changes that lasted were negotiated, and the confrontations mostly produced backlash.” What earns nothing: retelling the civil rights movement, defining confrontation as “standing up for what you believe in,” or granting that “both sides have a point” and stopping there.
  • Evidence that actually proves it… Movements with a documented sequence, so you can show cause rather than assert it: the woman suffrage campaign from Seneca Falls in 1848 through the White House pickets of 1917 to ratification in 1920; the Montgomery bus boycott of 1955–56 and the court ruling that ended the practice; a strike, a walkout, a shareholder revolt, a lawsuit. Reading counts: Douglass's own Narrative (1845), Antigone before Creon, a memoir of an organizer. So does an episode at your school or job, reported with the numbers and the names.
  • Weak moves readers see on this prompt… Treating confrontation and violence as the same thing, which lets you win the argument against a position nobody holds; listing four movements in four sentences with no mechanism attached; using a movement's slogan as evidence of its effect; and the opposite error, claiming polite persuasion works while offering only a hypothetical. A reader wants to see the moment the person with power actually had to answer.
  • A qualification path… Separate necessary from sufficient. It is easy to show that demands preceded most reforms; it is harder, and better, to show what else had to be true: a court, a legislature, a ballot, a press that reported it, an audience that could be embarrassed. Naming the second condition keeps your essay out of the trap of arguing that noise alone changes things.
  • A sophistication path… Concede the strongest counterargument honestly: confrontation often provokes repression, as Virginia's response to the 1831 uprising in Southampton County shows, and a demand can leave people worse off. Then show why the position survives, a claim about a necessary condition is not a promise of success, and follow the implication out: if confrontation is required exactly where an interest is opposed, then the useful question is not whether to confront but who has the power to yield and what rule is being demanded.
Show a 6/6 sample response

Douglass's line is usually quoted as encouragement, a strange fate for a sentence about how power behaves. He was not telling the Canandaigua crowd that struggle feels noble; he was describing a mechanism: people holding an advantage do not surrender it because someone explains that they should. Thesis He is right, but only half as far as he is usually taken to mean: confrontation (a demand made publicly and at a cost, so that ignoring it becomes expensive) is necessary wherever somebody benefits from the present arrangement, and never sufficient, because a demand becomes a change only when some channel can turn pressure into a rule.

Evidence The woman suffrage campaign proves the first half. The arguments were finished long before the vote arrived: Seneca Falls laid them out in 1848, and seventy years of meetings, petitions, and essays followed without moving Congress. In January 1917 the National Woman's Party began standing at the White House gates with banners; the picketing brought arrests that summer, sentences at the Occoquan Workhouse, and hunger strikes, and Wilson, who had ignored the delegations, announced his support for the amendment in January 1918. Commentary Nothing new was said in those months; what changed was the price of saying nothing. A president prosecuting a war he called a fight for democracy could not keep arresting women who quoted his own speeches back at him on a banner. That is Douglass's mechanism exactly: the demand supplied not a better argument but a cost.

Evidence The same campaign proves the second half: the picket did not write the Nineteenth Amendment. Carrie Chapman Catt's “Winning Plan,” adopted in 1916, put state associations to work on referendums and on the congressmen those states elected; the House passed the amendment in January 1918, the Senate in June 1919, and Tennessee ratified in August 1920. Commentary Read together, the two wings of the movement show what confrontation can and cannot do. Pressure made the question unavoidable; a ballot, a roll call, and thirty-six state legislatures converted it into law. Where that machinery is missing, a demand can be absorbed indefinitely, which is why my claim is about a necessary condition, not a sufficient one.

Evidence Douglass had already written the private version of the same sentence. In the Narrative (1845), the turning point of his life is a fight with the man hired to break him, and he marks it: “You have seen how a man was made a slave; you shall see how a slave was made a man.” Commentary The result was not freedom (the law was untouched, and he escaped three years later), but it changed what he could be treated as, the smallest true unit of the change he describes. Confrontation does not by itself repeal anything; it revises the assumption that nothing will be done.

Evidence I watched a miniature of the same sequence last year. Our school closed the library at lunch for staffing reasons; a petition with three hundred signatures came back from the principal with a courteous note about coverage. Four students then brought two months of sign-in sheets to a school board meeting, stood up during public comment with the numbers, and the policy changed in three weeks. Commentary The second attempt was not angrier than the first: it was harder to file. Public comment put the request into a record the board had to answer on camera, and the sign-in sheets made refusal require a counterargument. Confrontation, usefully defined, is not volume; it is changing the cost of doing nothing.

Sophistication The strongest objection is not that confrontation is impolite but that it backfires. After the 1831 uprising in Southampton County, Virginia tightened its slave codes and made it a crime to teach enslaved and free Black people to read: a demand answered with a harder lock. That does not refute Douglass; it illustrates his premise, since a system that felt nothing would have needed no new laws. But it sets the limit of my claim. Commentary A necessary condition promises nothing: confrontation without an audience that can be moved and an institution that can be made to act is only a cost paid by the people who pay it. That is why the question is never whether to confront, but what the demand is aimed at, which rule, which body, which vote.

Power concedes nothing without a demand, and it concedes nothing to a demand alone. Both halves have to be true, or the suffragists would have won in 1848.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): “Confrontation … is necessary wherever somebody benefits from the present arrangement, and it is never sufficient, because a demand only becomes a change when there is a channel that can turn pressure into a rule.” It defines its key term, takes a side a reasonable person could dispute, and its two halves announce the line of reasoning the body then follows.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): The reasoning runs necessity (suffrage pickets of 1917 and Wilson's reversal in January 1918), then insufficiency (the “Winning Plan” of 1916, the House and Senate votes, ratification in 1920), then the personal scale of the same mechanism (Douglass on Covey in the Narrative; the school board and the sign-in sheets). Evidence is specific and drawn from three domains (public history, reading, and firsthand observation), and each piece is explained rather than displayed: the picket supplied a cost rather than a new argument, the roll calls supplied the conversion, the fight changed what Douglass could be treated as, and public comment made refusal require a counterargument.
  • Row C: Sophistication (1/1): The sixth paragraph takes the concession route. It states the strongest opposing case (that a demand can be answered with repression, as Virginia's laws after 1831 were) grants it fully, and shows the position survives because a necessary condition is not a guarantee. It then follows the implication out to a sharper question about the target of a demand, which the closing sentence holds.

Argument 5 · 40 minutes

In “The Fallacy of Success” (1908), G. K. Chesterton argued that writing about success teaches nothing, because success is not a subject but a result. Write an essay that argues your position on how a society should define success.

Directions

Forty minutes, no sources. Take a defensible position on what a society ought to count as success: a position a reasonable person could dispute, and one specific enough to be acted on, since “success means different things to different people” answers nothing. Support it with specific evidence from what you have read, from history and public life, and from what you have watched a school, a team, a town, or a workplace actually reward; name the measure, the law, the book, or the year. Follow every piece with commentary that explains how it proves the claim rather than restating it, and build your claims into a line of reasoning rather than a list. Make one sophistication move: name the real tension in the question, concede the strongest objection and show why your position survives it, or draw out the implications of adopting your definition. Remember that a definition is also a policy, if you argue for one, be willing to say what it would cost.

Your essay
What a reader looks for on this prompt
  • A defensible position on this question sounds like… “A society should measure itself by the floor it guarantees rather than the ceiling it advertises,” or “Chesterton is wrong: a society that refuses to name outstanding achievement gets less of it,” or a qualified position with a rule attached: “celebrate the ceiling, audit by the floor.” What earns nothing: “success means something different to everyone,” a paragraph on money versus happiness, or a thesis so broad (“society should value what really matters”) that no evidence could disprove it.
  • Evidence that actually proves it… Measures a society actually adopted and what they produced: national income accounting and Kuznets's 1934 warning to the Senate, the enemy body count used as the measure of progress in Vietnam, graduation rates or test scores as a school's scoreboard, a company's quarterly earnings. Laws that moved a floor: the Servicemen's Readjustment Act of 1944, the school lunch program, a minimum wage. Reading that puts success on trial: Chesterton himself, The Great Gatsby (1925), a biography of someone who got what they wanted. And one thing you have watched a place you know reward.
  • Weak moves readers see on this prompt… The money-is-not-happiness essay, which argues against an opponent nobody is defending; celebrity examples with no dates or details; “society” used as a single person with intentions; and claims about what a society should value that never say who would do the valuing or with what instrument. A reader also notices when an essay defines success and then never tests the definition against a case where it would be inconvenient.
  • A qualification path… Concede that the measure you attack does real work. National income accounting was built to track a depression and did that well; test scores catch schools that would otherwise fail invisibly. Saying what your opponent's measure is good for, and then naming the job it cannot do, is far stronger than pretending the measure is stupid.
  • A sophistication path… Show that a definition of success is an instruction rather than a description, so any definition will be optimized and gamed by the people it judges, which turns the question into a choice about what a society wants more of. Or separate the acts a single definition usually confuses: what a society celebrates, what it counts, and what it guarantees, then argue those should not be the same list, and show what follows if they are.
Show a 6/6 sample response

Chesterton's joke about books on success is that they cannot exist. You can write a manual on bricklaying or on poker, because those are things a person does; success is only what happens when the doing goes well, so a book on success is either a book about something else or a book about nothing. Thesis The joke has a public edge: a society's definition of success is not a description but an instruction, and whatever it counts, it will set about producing. A society should therefore define success by the floor it guarantees (health, schooling, safe work, a real chance at work worth doing) rather than by the ceiling it advertises, because the ceiling mostly measures luck and the floor is the only part a society actually builds.

Evidence The country's own scoreboard shows why. When Simon Kuznets delivered the first national income accounts to the Senate in 1934, he attached a warning: the welfare of a nation, he wrote, can scarcely be inferred from a measure of national income. The accounts were built to track a depression. They became the definition of doing well anyway. Commentary That warning was technical, not modest. A national income figure counts the cleanup after a hurricane as growth and a decade of unpaid care as zero, because it was built to count transactions, not conditions. Adopting it as the definition of national success told the country to produce transactions, which it did, while the conditions it cannot see were left to look after themselves.

Evidence A definition chosen badly does not merely mislead; it redirects effort. In Vietnam, where no front line moved to mark progress, the American command settled on the enemy body count as the measure of the war. Counts inflated as they traveled up the chain, and operations were valued by what they added to the number. Commentary That is Chesterton's fallacy in uniform: when success is defined as a result, people learn to manufacture the result and lose the thing it was supposed to indicate, an argument for defining success as something that cannot be faked: a child who can read, a worker who comes home.

Evidence The strongest case for the floor is the Servicemen's Readjustment Act of 1944. By the mid-1950s roughly 7.8 million veterans had used its education and training benefits, and millions bought houses with mortgages the Act guaranteed; one law raised the floor under half a generation. Commentary It is also the hardest test of my position, because the floor was not laid evenly. Benefits were administered locally, so Black veterans met segregated colleges and banks that would not write the loan, and a program that looks like a triumph in the aggregate widened the gap it seemed to close. That is the discipline a floor imposes and a ceiling never does: a floor is read off whoever stands lowest, so an average cannot hide a failure.

Evidence Fitzgerald wrote the private version of the same problem in 1925. Gatsby is assembled entirely out of results (the house, the shirts, the guest lists, the car), and the novel gives us no way to judge him except by size, until a funeral almost nobody attends supplies another measure. My school runs a milder version every May, printing a banner of college acceptances in the lobby. Commentary The banner is a definition, and it is a ceiling: it reports our best outcomes and says nothing about the students the building was put there for. A society that describes itself by its top results can describe its winners in detail and its ordinary citizens not at all.

Sophistication The serious objection is that a society which celebrates nothing accomplishes less. Apollo 11 in 1969 was a ceiling (spectacular, expensive, useless as a floor), and by being visible it pulled a generation into engineering. That is true, and my position stands, because celebrating and auditing are different acts. Commentary A country can put a flag on the moon and still refuse to grade itself by flags. Celebrate the ceiling, since admiration is how ambition gets taught; count the floor, since counting is how money moves. The error is letting the thing we admire become the thing we measure, which is how the body count and the banner happened.

Chesterton was right that success is not a subject. A floor is one. It can be taught, funded, inspected, and argued over in a budget, which is what makes it the only definition a society can be held to.

Where the points are earned
  • Row A: Thesis (1/1): “A society should therefore define success by the floor it guarantees … rather than by the ceiling it advertises, because the ceiling mostly measures luck and the floor is the only part a society actually builds.” It answers the prompt with a position that can be argued against, names the reason it will defend, and gives the essay a two-part structure: what bad measures do, what a floor measure does.
  • Row B: Evidence and commentary (4/4): The line of reasoning moves from the claim that a definition is an instruction (Kuznets's 1934 warning and the rise of national income as the scoreboard), to what a badly chosen instruction produces (the Vietnam body count), to what a floor definition looks like and demands (the 1944 GI Bill and its uneven administration), to the same problem at private scale (The Great Gatsby and a school's May banner). Evidence comes from public policy, history, reading, and firsthand observation, and each piece is explained rather than dropped: national income counts transactions and not conditions, a result-based measure gets manufactured, a floor is read off whoever is lowest, and a banner reports a ceiling to a school built for a floor.
  • Row C: Sophistication (1/1): The sixth paragraph concedes the strongest objection, that visible achievement like Apollo 11 does real work, and survives it by drawing a distinction the rest of the essay has been building toward: what a society celebrates need not be what it counts. That separation also explains the earlier cases rather than merely answering the objection, and the conclusion carries it into a claim about accountability, which is what a complex understanding of the question looks like sustained across an essay.

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